My husband ignores my feelings..Is divorce the answer for me?

Question

I´ve been married 8 years..my husband ignores my feelings, everytime we argue he just ignores my feelings and toughts and every time we argue is over the same things..he doesn´t seem to care and to change the things that know that bother me, I feel I´ve done my part he asked. He hasn´t, I hate to think of a divorce,it sounds like an easy answer, but It would be the harderst thing to do and for my 2 little girls to go through but I´m starting to think there is no more love left..how to know if we need a divorce?

Answer 1

In a marriage, sometimes love changes form, it goes from lust to caring...You know if your husband is a good man or not (good father, good provider, caring...). Divorcing him cuz he ignores your feelings is not the key. I don't think he's ignoring your feelings but men in general cannot deal with feelings so they run away from them.

Answer 2

First off...divorce is only used as a last resort! Try seeking alternative options first. The most logical option to start is some marriage counseling for the both of you...together. If he refuses to participate, then use the option of time away from him ( few days should be surfice) but not to a point of a legal separation. If you need more time away, then get a separation to look more openly at other options to become happier. Hopefully, you have some family close by that can help and support you through this.

Having 2 young girls is the hardest part of any of this. I hate seeing kids growing up with separate parents. But you really cannot continue to live miserably without support or love coming from your own husband and their father. I strongly believe in ever-lasting marriages. But in order for that to happen, dedication and hard work must be done by both party members are required. It's not fair that you do it all alone. Your happiness is important and the kids will grow up happier if you are happy.

Men can be stubborn and pigheaded a lot of times. They often need a good wake up call to realize what they have before they could lose it all.

I hope for the best with you and the girls. Good luck. =)

Answer 3

Divorce is not an answer. For better or worse means just that. Now if you are being physically abused then you need to get away and seek help in helping him and yourself.

Call and speak to a Christian Pastor's Wife...check out the yellow pages; there are real answers to these questions, real solutions so that your feelings will matter and old arguments seem unimportant. I can't remember where but somewhere I read..."the grass is not greener on the other side - the grass is greener wherever you are watering it...." We are different but we can bring out the best in another...and we are worth it and so are our children.

I have heard so many couples-both the men and the women get up and share where they were and how beautiful there love is for each other now...give Jesus a chance...he will surround you with loving friends and perfect solutions


Never give up;
Sista C
.

Answer 4

Does your husband work long hours and leaves early in the morning and comes home late at night....is he always too tired to talk to you?
Sometimes men are so exhausted they can't focus on what is going on at home from working so hard. I'm not making excuses for him just wondering what is going on there. There are two sides to everything and you have to examine each side to know how both of you can fix whatever problem there is. When you have children it sure makes a difference how you go about discussing these problems. Try not to argue in front of the children find a time when you can sit quietly and talk without getting angry and lay your cards on the table. You might want to talk to a counselor at your house of faith. Or contact a hospital and ask if they can refer you to someone who can hear you out if he won't sit and talk to you. It's terrible when you carry around these burdens and cannot find a way to solve them....if you continue to let things trouble you without getting help it will lead to depression and affect your mothering. So do something soon so you can make your lives much better. If there is violence in the home...that is something no woman has to put up with. So get help for that if it applies to you.
Best wishes,
Mama Jazzy Geri

Answer 5

Life is too short, and with two young daughters to take care of, you need to be happy.
You aren't now, and getting no emotional support or love from him.
It's not an easy course to take, getting a divorce, but if there was a chance, I wouldn't suggest it. But from what you have written, I think you and your girls, would be much happier on your own.
Once you are divorced and on your own, you can seek the partner you deserve.
Hopefully, some ladies who have been through a divorce can give you more advice. From what I have seen, most of them are much happier, since they got divorced.
Good luck.

Answer 6

I am in the same situation right now. Husband started ignoring my needs and feelings years ago. When we argue he threatens to leave the house if I don t stop talking, he tells me nothing I say phases him because ive been "nagging" about the same things for years. I tell him what i need from him and he completely ignores me. we have been together for 10yrs and have 2 kids. he ignores all his responsibilities of the house, doesn t like care of our kids, didn t even want them to begin with. I have sacrificed my happiness for years. senior prom: He didn t have hair gel so he tried leaving me there alone. We got engaged and he told me if i told anyone hed break it off. I got pregnant with our first child and he broke up with me thinking id be intimidated into getting another abortion. after a few weeks he told me he missed me but i wasn t allowed to talk about the baby. i was miserable the whole pregnancy. He didn t want a wedding so we eloped, but before we tied the knot he got drunk. And we were supposed to have gotten married two other times before but he used work as an excuse to cancel one time and my car broke down the second time. I was un aware until just recently that he was to blame for my car breaking down. I got pregnant again yrs later and again he tried to get me to have an abortion. he said it was either him or the new baby. Again i was prepared to do it on my own but when it came time for me to find a place and leave he didn t want me to go. Being ignored and belittled for so many years i have finally made the choice that i want to leave. I enrolled back into school and will be getting a good job soon. I also started marriage counseling to help the divorce process go faster. although my husband does not know that. In counseling he admits he ignores my feelings, doesn t help with the kids or household chores, admits he doesn t spend any time with me and the kids and likes doing his own thing. He claims he cares about me and my feelings but he has done nothing to improve anything. I cannot go my whole life feeling less than or un worthy of love because someone is too self centered to care for me the way i deserve. Divorce for me is def in the future. How did things turn out for you?

Answer 7

Divorce is not the answer here at least not yet. Try talking to him and if he does not seem to care or listen then try to get him to go to marriage counseling with you to try and work things out. Do this for your marriage and your little girls before giving up completely on the marriage. I feel that there is hope left for your marriage. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this matter. Your husband might benefit from Dr Phils man camp.

Answer 8

well i was married for three years... but i am really young, but from experience.. i would say that you should try and separte for a few days... tell him that you are not happy right now, and you need some time to clear ur head... let him know the things that are bothering you, and also suggest to go to a marriage councelor... sometimes problems can be fixed and divorce is not necessary.. as to your lil girls, divorce is always the hardest on the children, but would you rather them see you guys apart and happy, or together and miserable... children absord everything they see, and this reflects on them as adults.. so dont let your children be the reason to stay with him.... if you are truly unhappy and things arent working out, i would leave and move on.... good luck

Answer 9

You shouldn't throw in the towel after 8 years. Even if he won't go it would probably benefit you to be able to vent to someone. On another note, are you looking for an excuse to leave. Ideally, if he knew how you felt, (if he's listen to you) I'm sure he wouldn't want you to go. Maybe getting him into a counselor with you would make him start to listen. Tell him that you are seriously considering whether or not to continue your marriage to him and tell him that you'd like to try some counseling with him first. Even if he won't go it would probably benefit you to be able to vent to someone. I'm sure he wouldn't want your girls to go through that either. Maybe the two of you need to take a vacation together to reconnect. Having kids can make it harder to stay close emotionally.

Answer 10

I have been married almost seven andi am in the same ship except no children. Try not to be divorced. It is expensive and painful. Maybe you ignore his feelings too. I know i ignore my husbands. Not on purpose but i do. Have you talked to a preacher or someone like that?