What should I do, ask for it back or let it go???

Question

It all started when the love of my life came back into my life for the second time. She and her family moved in with me from out of state shortly afterwords. Big move, she started trying to sale her house. Long story short! I got deployed overseas for a year, she stayed in my/our house and it didn't work out that we could get married before I left. Before I left I went out and partied and almost or did cheated on her. No sex but I did mess up. Well stupid me confessed when I could have gotten away with it. I wanted to be totally honest about my mistake. The question is, she kept our wedding ring and also will not talk about paying back a $2500 lone from me to pay her delingant land taxes. It was clearly a lone. There are many other things but to much to list. Should I ask for any of it back or just let it go. She left without even telling me, trashed the house and moved back to where she came from. It is very painful for both of us. Should I persue or let it go?

At this point neither of us want to get back together. Also she would not get a job like agreed until she did decide to leave. This was a year that I surported her and her three kids.

Answer 1

Since the money was a loan-do you have the agreement in writing? In your possession? Or a witness to this agreement? If you do, please pursue it. Why? Because she "owes you" the money. Plus, she owes you for the repairs of trashing the house. Do you have a copy of the land taxes she owed? Any paperwork you have to help prove your side in court will truly help. And/or, having a person as a witness to the "verbal" agreement between the two of you will help as well. This witness will need to be available for court on this. I understand you having messed up, but that is no excuse for her to not repay the loan, nor is it any kind of excuse for her trashing your house. As for the ring--if it's the wedding ring, she needs to give it back, because she did not marry you. Regardless of why she did not marry you, she owes you the ring back as well. Even if it's just the engagement ring, she needs to give it back. You mentioned being deployed for a year (thank you), are you active duty? If so, please talk with a military attorney on this matter. If not, or if the military attorney does not know the laws of the state this occurred in, please pay and consult with a regular attorney that knows the laws of the state where this occurred. I hope and trust you are in your house, or nearby. Do you have photos of the damage to your house? Do you have her current address? The more proof, or evidence you have to prove your side, the better. Do you have estimates on the repairs to the house, or has the work already been done? If it's already done, do you still have a copy of the bill for the work done? Regardless, please start with a consultation with an attorney on this important matter. I truly wish you the best on this.and everything else. Take care.

Answer 2

The "Gentleman" thing to do would be to just let it go. The "proper" thing would be for her to return the ring if she's decided not to marry you. The "legal" thing would be for you to take her to court for the loan and the damage to your home. You could argue that the ring was contingent on the two of you getting married, but it might be viewed as a "gift" by the court. No matter what though, there is nothing worse than a woman scorned! So you might want to count your blessings, move on, and be glad that this is as bad as it got. The good news (if there is any) is that she obviously still cares. Otherwise she wouldn't be so resentful and spite full! Good luck turning THAT into a positive thing for you though!!!!!!

Answer 3

Good luck trying to get it back...do you think your relationship would work out after a big break up? no? so i think you should let it all go, next time be smarter about what you saying, if it's going to destroy your relationship don't say it, I understand you wanted to be honest and all at and i agree it's the best policy, but I also know if you make a mistake and know you 'd never fo it again, than keep it quiet...you probably know that too now:)

Answer 4

Asking for it back isn't going to help. From the sound of it, it doesn't look like there is any chance for reconciliation so if you really want to get what was taken from you a lawsuit is the only way to achieve that but you have to have the proper documentation to prove that she owes you what your claiming. If you choose to pursue it talk to a lawyer they will be able to give you the best course of action.

Answer 5

well you are the one that messed up i think you hurt her so bad that she is just trying to get back at you. as for the ring let it go but the loan is something else send her a bill let her know you will take payment what ever she can pay a month will do as long as it's getting payed but let her know if she fall's to make payment you will have to take her to small clams court good luck

Answer 6

She cannot keep the ring. It is a promise to marry and if she didn't marry you, she has to return it. Take her to small claims court. Make sure you have evidence to prove the loan, etc. Don't let it go. She is a gold digger and a user.

Answer 7

You screwed up, and you can't write it off as being deployed, my husband didn't go out and screw up, he was home with me. You messed up and there is nothing you can do, if it was a loan did you get it in writing? if not then it was a gift, and the ring is hers to keep.
Let it go, you messed up, she was hurt, she shouldn't have trashed the house but whatever, you can't do anything.

Answer 8

for $2,500 it is not worth going to court for, it will cost you more in legal fee's then it's worth, and trust me if you ask for the cash back thats where it would head. In terms of the ring, i believe morally she should return it, and you should ask for it back. The ring was a sign of your commitment, a commitment that is no longer there, so get it back before she ends up throwing it in the gutter in a drunken rage one night.

Answer 9

I think the way she treated your house while you were away says alot. I myself would let it go. I think you can find much better.Someone that will respect your honesty and your belongings.
Best of luck to you. Lifes an adventure , live it, but not with unworthy hearts.

Answer 10

while I respect your honestly. you crossed the line. You really hurt her and shes getting even. you could persue it or you could just let it go and consider it "the screwing you get for the screwing you got"....kind of a punishment thing...she gave you her heart for the second time and you dropped it.....remember this before the next time you hurt the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE>......