What is the definition of a good wife?

Question

I am in a loving relationship with the man of my dreams and we have tenatively planned to marry in six months. I have never been married before and I need some adult advice on marriage; what does it mean to be a good wife? I know that I love him and I want to assume the role of cooking, cleaning, working and supporting him emotionally, physically and spiritually but I just want to know what more can I do, because I need to know what makes marriage work. We are waiting on sex until marriage, we are living in seperate residences, so this is a HUGE step for us...I want this to work....any tips, advice, suggestions!?

Answer 1

Well so far you are both off to a GREAT start! I give you an A+ for being smart about how your relationship has developed. Too many times I find myself frustrated with people who meet, have sex, get pregnant, AND THEN try to get know each other, fall in love, or get married! So kudos for doing things the RIGHT way!

As far as what a good wife is........there's an old saying that a good wife is "A lady in the parlor, a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom"! But as long as you both go sleep with smiles on your faces, I'd say that's about as basic as it gets. A husband with a clean house, a full stomach, and a wife who screamed his name while having her 3rd orgasm of the night within the last couple of days is a husband that will go to work with confidence, a purpose, and a smile on his face!

In closing let me point out an interesting observation to give your brain something to chew on............women marry men hoping that somehow they can mold them and change them. Men marry women hoping they stay exactly the same! Keep that in mind 5-7 years from now! Best wishes, good luck, and congratulations on doing things the right way !

Answer 2

You should read some books on healthy relationships.
We women sometimes tend to point out all the negative sides in a man, so sometimes, we should just take it easy on them, and instead give them compliments on good things they have done. They will truly appreciate that. And eventually they will work on some of their bad habits (like leaving their socks between the couches). You know, when you notice them, just say to him, "Honey, i love it when you put your socks away; or Thank you so much for bringing the garbage out the other day." Just point out good things, because then they will be more willing to work on it.
And also, arguments are always part of a relationship. So, when you do have an argument, don't argue, but discuss. (don't get loud, definately no name calling, let the other person speak out, think if this particular thing that you are arguing about is even worth getting the relationship in trouble.)
I know it's hard, but I think it's great that you are preparing for that all ahead of time. Look up in the internet and google: good relationships. I'm sure you will find many articles that will help you. And definately find some good reading materials in a bookstore, it really helps.

And I find it absolutely great that you two are waiting for sex until after marriage, that's very rare these days.

All the best.

And a short note: I have to say, that's a great answer by DrewBlood. The best one yet!!!!!

Answer 3

Well this sounds like a relationship which has already started off on the wrong foot. You may want to start living with your signifigant other, because things are revealed that are not normally when you are just casually dating someone. You might find out the man of your dreams may have some quirks you may not be ready handlelor work on. Waiting to get married before having sex, while an noble idea in theory, you may find out later on that you two may not be compatable after you are married and by then it would be too late. You need to really ask yourself why are you marriying this person in the 1st place, becuase from what it sounds like, you may not know him at all. A standard good wife does not exist. You just need to be perfect for him, and if you truly knew what his needs were then you would not be asking a bunch of stranger what a good wife is; you would already know what he needs.

Answer 4

OK I am going to lay it out for you..I have been married for 32 years to the same man...some good years some bad years....alll in all a good and loving marrage. We do not fight at all, had about 3 in our whole marrage.
When he wants to fight, don't do it. Do not give him stuff to throw back at you.
Set your ground rules from the start, before marrage, what you will put up with and what you will not.
My husband said he did not want a fat wife...I weighted 125 when we got married and weight 126 today..OK i have gotten up to 150 not being preganut, but he did not leave me.
I told him OK i do not want a fat husband...he was 150 when we got married now he is 260...I am still here..so that really did not matter.
Read the book How to train a dog, really it is the best one for a husband...I mean a real dog.
I still rub my hubby behind the ear an get what ever I want...LOL
Now for the real kicker...be yourself and do not try and please him all the time...he is not going to return it, and that will just make you mad. If you start out doing everything he says to do, you will all ways have to do it. So don't. Because when you get tired of doing everything for him and stop, he will say, but you always have done it...but if you do something every now and then he will notice that and say WOW, thanks...That will not make you a bad wife, it will just make you your own person....and that is important, you do not want to just be HIS wife, you want to be a couple.
The cooking and cleaning and keeping house is good...do that.
I know i rammbled but just remember, be your own person and you will be fine. Sounds like you want it to work and that is the first step. It will not all be roses, so do not think that and do not give up when it is not...it get better with age so hang in there.

Answer 5

Personally a good wife in my mind is the other person in the relationship.

BUT she thinks for herself and doesn't become codepedent. Her main goal in life isn't to produce kids or satisfy her husband. IF a woman does that, she'll wake up at the age of 80 and realize she's wasted her life without knowing what she really wants or enjoys.

A wife, like a husband, is honest and trustworthy. They are each allowed to have their "off" days and sometimes a little alone time is perfect. A wife's main duty isn't to be a homemaker, it's to follow her dreams. If her dream is to be a homemaker, great.

Honestly I think that the best relationship is one where a husband and wife work together as a team. They realize that there will be arguments and times when love isn't really the word of choice. It happens. You learn, you grow, you make-up, and you move on with the day.

Answer 6

You (and he) need to only know 4 things to be a good wife (or husband). Trust, honesty, respect and communication. With all 4 of those, the marriage will be as close to perfect as a marriage can be. With even one of those missing, the marriage may not work.

Answer 7

Congrats on Marriage! Always remember that no one is perfect and everyone changes with age. Marriage takes alot of work as long as the both of you always think of the other and communicate always you will be on the right road. The problem now a days is that people find it to easy to walk away. Work things out keep things interesting and always remember to be Best Friends. Turn to each other not outsiders

Answer 8

In my personal experience and I think that most people will agree, it is to be who you are, don't go out of your way to impress him once you are married, he loves you for who you are RIGHT THIS MINUTE not who you might become. That is great that you want to take those roles, some people do and some people don't. Remember with you living in separate residences right now that you live on way and you don't know exactly how he lives you know. So he might leave dirty clothes around, or something that might get on your nerves. The most important thing I can tell you from on newlywed to a soon to be one, is don't worry about the little things, don't worry about the toilet seat up, don't worry about them or else you will be stressed and it will cause both of you pain. i didn't live with my husband until marriage and so I know that from personal experience. Don't expect him to change but I doubt you do with your comment. Have fun, and congrats on staying apart physically until marriage. :)

Answer 9

Besides your wanting to do most of the housework and supporting him in all ways, I honestly feel like you have to put your spouse before yourself. I always fix his plate first, do his laundry, and just be a kind person that he can talk to about anything. I'm glad you guys are waiting until marriage to have sex and move in together. That's really awesome. Not too many couples do that anymore and it just goes to show you how much you two respect each other. Nothing makes a marriage "work." Marriage isn't work. Marriage is about being understanding and considerate of your spouse. Marriage shouldn't have to be "work."

You sound like you're on the right track to having a happy, healthy marriage and I wish you two nothing but the best.

Answer 10

oh my dear...
it;s the same definition as being a good husband.
no sex before marriage is a good start for some.
Knowing all the pet peeves and standing it without judgment is a good start.
Trusting is a good start.
being supportive is a good start.
both having one another back...is definitely a good start.
family, friends, strangers etc will test your strength it's up to both of you to build that strong impenetrable foundation even gossip cannot find a way in...


oh. one more thing..don't be so foolish to discuss every. single. problem with family or ppl before you settle it with the man, first. that's the major cause of all American break-ups.