almost two months ago i was raped. it wasn't really violent, it was more of a kind of date rape thing. i was out with my now ex-bf, i said no, but he didn't really listen. i took the morning after pill, but, i guess it didn't work, because i'm pregnant. i haven't had sex with anyone so i know it's from him. i want to have an abortion. i didn't want sex in the first place, and i don't want a baby now. i want to finish high school and go to college. my mom doesn't want me to have one. she says it's murder, that we will just deal with the situation, that i can put going to college on hold for now, do what's right, and take care of myself and my baby when it gets here. i really don't want to do this, i want to have an abortion. i know there's adoption, but i don't want to have a baby that's half mine just floating around. i don't want it to wonder what happened. what should i do? i just want it to be over, he made me give him those few minutes, do i have to give it all up?
2007-02-28 15:18:24 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
sorry if you've already answered this once, but i really need help and only got 5 answers so far, but thank you everyone who has helped.
2007-02-28 15:19:07 · update #1
that was very rude. i didn't let anything happen to me, he's twice my size and my fighting him was of no use, it didn't stop anything.
2007-02-28 15:31:12 · update #2
What are you people doing to this poor girl? It's OK to tell her you don't agree with abortion. It's even OK to say that's not what you would do, she did ask for help.. What is NOT OK is the attack I see coming from some of you. She is looking for help and guidance after a difficult situation that someone else placed her in. Either be understanding and helpful, or don't answer. Honey, you need to do whatever feels right to you. Do remember that you cannot take back an abortion, though. Think very hard about how it will make you feel. I also suggest seeing if you can't find a site with stories from girls in your situation. It might make it easier to hear what other people have gone through. In the end, you must you what you need to do.
2007-02-28 15:59:03 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 7⤊ 2⤋
To me abortion is wrong... the only exception being rape and incest. That being said, I can understand the feelings of what you are going through. You were violated in the worse way by someone who you should have been able to trust.
The decision is solely up to you.... not your mother. It is your life that this child will impact. If you do not feel ready or willing and are still in high school maybe raising a baby is not the best decision. There are a few options that you have and you should probably discuss them with a doctor so that you can make a smart decision. Adoption might be an option. Or you may decide after giving birth that you want to keep the baby. I know people who still have nightmares years later after having an abortion.
Whatever you do, YOU have to be the one to make the decision. Try to make it the most informed decision by getting all the information available.
I hope you make a choice that works out well for everyone. Good luck.
Oh and to the person who said that you "let it happen" doesn't have a clue!!! If you start having sex with someone and change your mind and say no this is still rape. The word no = rape.
2007-02-28 15:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by tonip1963 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
In most states the limit is 16 weeks to get an abortion however some states do it until your 24 weeks. You should do it as soon as possible if you are.
I can see why you do not want to carry on with the pregnancy, i know i wouldn't want to either. I don't think abortion is murder. It is your body and you should get to decide what to do with it not your mom. I am sorry you were raped. Maybe you could get your dad to sign for you.
Go to this website and click on a clinic in your state and maybe they can help you.
http://www.abortion.com
If you continue with the pregnancy then give it up for adoption since you clearly do not want it and your mom would not have no say so in the matter.
Good luck
2007-02-28 21:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with Amanda D 100%!!!! Do what you absolutely feel is right. Personally, if was in your situation and I would have went ahead and had an abortion, regardless of what others may say. It's not fair to bring a baby into the world when it's not wanted to begin with. Sure there's adoption, but being pregnant is not a walk in the park. Trust me I'm there right now.But you should go ahead and make your final decision soon. I dont think you can have an abortion after 3 months, but I could be wrong??
Good luck in making your decision and do what YOU feel YOU should do!!!!
2007-02-28 16:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by jmmartinez86 1 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Thank your mom that she will be supportive of this pregnancy. As hard as it is that baby you are carrying is alive. Her/his heart starting beating at 3 weeks after conception. I am so sorry that you have to go through this and that your bf will not be around. About adoption- I am adopted myself and 48 years ago my birth mom placed me for adoption- plus my husband and I have 2 adopted kids as well. My son birth mom was date raped as well- so I can understand that this is hard for you- however if my son's birth mom aborted my son, he would not be here. You can finish high school and go to college with adoption. Today you can choose the parents for you baby- and also keep in touch if you want to. Yes, you gave yourself in those few minutes- but please choose what is right- Your mom is awesome to be so supportive. Not all are. I dont know if you can email of not, but if you can please do- would love to support you.
2007-03-01 04:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, it's not your mother's life and it's not her body, so it shouldn't be her decision. Whether or not abortion is right or wrong, you're talking about having one, so I'll assume that it's legal and available where you live.
Why should you have to alter your life and put your future on hold because something awful happened to you that you didn't even want? It's not your fault, your ex boyfriend should be imprisoned and his testicles bitten off by a rottweiler, possibly even worse because he was your boyfriend at the time and was supposed to be someone that you could trust.
You do what you want, that's YOUR right. I'm personally against abortions, and eschew hearing about the procedure as much as the next human. But then I'm a guy, so I recognize that I'll never have to make that choice, I just don't believe it should be against the law for any woman to safely do so.
Since this was two months ago, I'd encourage you to make a decision quickly before an abortion becomes legally/medically unavailable to you.
2007-02-28 15:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
It's your life, not your moms.
If this is not what you want, it's not fair to put yourself or the baby through this. Your mom might have strong feelings about abortion, as do I, but every case is different and in cases such as yours I believe it is warranted.
Don't let people scare you, there will always be strong opinion on the abortion issue. Some people would rather see a baby being born and 'given away' rather than accept the fact sometimes it would be better for the pregnancy not to go ahead. There are plenty of horror stories about adopted children, not all go to the loving homes these people fantasise about. Then there's the rejection issues these kids need to deal with. Or your emotional state, because giving a baby up for adoption is really hard and can mess you up for ever.
If you don't want the baby, chances are you will go on to develop post natal depression. You might not want the baby after it is born either, and / or blame the baby for the way your life will be. It would always remain a reminder of what happened. Plus you would have to explain it to the baby one day. This is a big ask from your mother. I have no doubt she would love the baby, but that doesn't change the fact it's yours.
A baby is a life commitment, a huge responsibility. It isn't fair to bring a baby into this world under your circumstances. I know I couldn't give my baby up for adoption, and chances are you won't either. Once you carry a baby and give birth, it's hard to give it up. Emotionally however, the damage will be done.
You have your whole life ahead of you. I had a baby at 18, on my own, too. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
This wasn't really your choice, in your circumstance an abortion is ok. ONCE. But don't wait any longer, the baby is developing every day.
For those right to life people, wake up and see reality. This girl probably would not be ok, nor the baby. She has her whole life ahead of her, it's not fair on both of them to pressure her into going through with this pregnancy against her will.
It's ok to do whatever YOU decide. It is YOUR baby, YOUR pregnancy and YOUR life. There are too many unwanted babies out there that will end up messed up emotionally because of circumstances.
Look at this as a learning experience, just don't make that mistake again.
2007-02-28 15:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by Aussie mum 4 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Tell your Mom that if you have an abortion there won't be one more child born into this world who isn't wanted, and won't get the love, and care they need in life. There are too many people in
this world today that weren't wanted and didn't get the love, and care that they needed when they were children. They will suffer every day of their lives and cause problems for other people.
Then be careful and don't produce a child that you don't want, can't love, nor care for in your life as it is now.
2007-03-02 07:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all - THIS WASN'T YOUR FAULT!
No mean no... what happened to you was wrong and I am soooo sorry you were violated. I hope that you pressed charges because he deserves jail....
I think that you are viewing adoption the wrong way. You could consider a semi open adoption where you can receive pictures and letters (updates of the baby through out their life. My husband and I are wanting to adopt and this is the kind of relationship we want with the mother. We would LOVE for her to make a scrap book of her, her family and life so when our child is old enough he can see and know who his biological mom is and know what a sacrifice it was to give them up.
I would love to talk with you! Maybe you would even consider having an open adoption with us. I hope you consider adoption whether with us or another family who would love to become parents! :-)
Email me if ya want: stitch604@yahoo.com
2007-03-01 09:49:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if you want to get an abortion then get one no one has the right to tell you not to
i understand what you mean when you say you would feel worse having your child out there that you never get to see of only get to see once in awile i would have a harder time emotanaly then i did by having an abortion
I am a mother of 5 children 4 are living i lost one to SIDS and i am a foster parent i have had many children in my home and i love kids so very much
and i have had an abortion and i have never regretted it (it has been 14 year) am I a bad person for doing so ???
I am pro choice
every women has to right to decide whats best for her
I know i will get ALLOT of negative reactions from many of you out there and that is OK i don't care there girls need to know they have rights and one of there rights is to ask a question and not be made to feel bad or stupid for looking at all there options and trying to make an informed decision they come on here looking for support and a shoulder to lean on and they get attacked for asking most have no one else to turn to and they have turned to you and you call them names and treat them so badly
2007-02-28 15:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋