I went to a pre-marriage guidance course back in 2004 and the lecturer came up with this. I was wondering till now and really couldn't make up my mind cause i can't get the answer. I'm getting married soon this mid-year. i hope there's someone who could explain to me who and why. (The course i attended is a must for Islamic couples intending to get married.)
2007-02-28 15:12:40 · 13 answers · asked by Nora D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
great, good ole islam muddling this up by rewording a question several times and then pretending it is a whole different question
marry the person you love?
love the person you marry?
both questions deal with loving your spouse
there really is no difference unless you happen to be ultra religious or a phylosopher, at which point here is an explanation
marry the person you love
this deals with you falling in love before even choosing a potential mate, at which point you are in love with them and that is the whole reason that you choose to marry them, eventually this love may fade and you can be stuck in a loveless marriage
love the person you marry
this deals with accepting a person as a spouse and forcing yourself to love them, whole different thing here, most of the time you can not fall in love with whatever person you NEED to, just fall in love with whatever person you want to, this may not necessarily be the person you marry at which point you are stuck in a loveless marriage from the begining if you can not love the person you marry
there is a more deep and profound interpretation of this which i will not go into detail here since there just is no room for it
2007-02-28 15:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have it any other way then have it both ways. To me if the person does not love you as much as you love them then why even marry them in the first place as it is not right and should not happen. The feeling of love should be mutual between the two people or it should be a no go and you keep on looking. I would marry the person i love and love them at the same time. This goes hand in hand.
2007-02-28 15:23:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is both you marry because you love the person you are with then comes marriage and then loving the person thoroughout the marriage and all your life as the vows state till death do us part.
This is very easy would you not love the person that you fell in
love with then not love them after getting married?
Marriage is the most important and vital way that two people tell each other that they love each other and want to be together forever love is marriage in some degree or another.
2007-02-28 19:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marry the person you love... but it can happen with loving the person you marry after the fact..back in the 1970 when a girl got pregnant the couple would get married some would end up falling in love and staying together for 50+ years so it is possible.
2007-02-28 16:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Sonya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in American culture we don't really have arranged marriages. People marry for love (or what they think is love at least). I could only see "love the person you marry" as a duty to your parents and ancestors or something, honoring them.
Many cultures treat women as less than a man, sometimes less than the livestock. That doesn't fly in a modern country with ready access to divorce. Especially when the women are percieved to turn a profit from divorce.
2007-02-28 15:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say both only because I love the person I married and always will
2007-02-28 15:22:03 · answer #6 · answered by casandraott 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married twice. The first time i married for LOVE.
Since that did not work...he cheated on me....
I married the 2nd time thinking i would Love him as we grew in our marriage..... I ended up cheating on him...looking for love!
My thought is you LOVE each other completely , honestly.....then get married.
2007-02-28 15:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by janetw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the difference? they are one and the same. The person you love should be the person your marrying.
2007-02-28 15:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love the person you marry,
start loving after marrying,start doing sex after marrying,start going for movies after marrying.
If you marry the person you love than don't forget love will end cos you have done all that before marrying.
2007-03-01 21:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person you love.
2007-02-28 15:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋