Can someone please explain the possible pyschological answers to this to me?

Question

I don't really understand WHY this is happening to me, I only know that it is. I'm trying to understand why I keep thinking about my deceased father so much. I'm trying to understand myself and feel understanding my relationship and experience with him is key to knowing myself better. Regardless, as I'm getting older and older (I'm 17 now) I find myself thinking about him more and more. He died when I was almost four and throughout my childhood the fact that my father died was just something I knew. But 14 years later I think about him tons, miss him, feel angry towards people who wronged him, etc. Why?

Answer 1

because you never had a father growing up . it's pretty normal to feel that way but don't let that feeling lead your life . know him from stories from people who were able to really spend time with him maybe like your mother . he's deceased already so just ask about his good traits and love him for that .

Answer 2

I kind of went through the same thing. My dad just left when I was a baby. I went my whole life not caring much until I turned about 19 or so. Then I went through everything you are describing now.

Your dad is supposed to be the male role model in your life that teaches you how to be a man. You are growing up and starting to become a man, with that you usually look towards your father. This time in your life is when you need him the most. However he is not there. Thats the only thing I can think of that is sparking your interest or desire in him all of a sudden.

Answer 3

What you are feeling is normal. You suffered a really big loss at an early age. The reason you feel angry is because you have seen all your friends with fathers doing things together and being taught things by their fathers such as how to fish or how to throw a baseball or help in learning to drive.

You were denied all these things so you feel cheated and therefore angry. The reason you think about him is because you can't know your father like other people, so you wonder what he would be like and what life would have been like if your father had lived.

Answer 4

You answered your own question, did you know that? He was never there, you never got to know him, and now you're at the age where you're becoming an adult, but where is your father? You want to relate to him, you want to look to him because he was your father, and now you are becoming a man and he is not here to see it. You were so young when he died, you never got to meet him. I had the same problem with my real mother. I was 2 days old when I was adopted, I never got to meet her. It bothered me when I was little, but then I came to see my adoptive parents as my own, and it didn't bother me again until i was about 18, suddenly I realized I was almost a woman, almost an adult, and I never knew her, I don't know what she looked like, what she would have called me, suddenly I had all these thoughts, I was always thinking about what she might look like, and anyone that said anything, even if it wasn't about her directly, I would get angry with, and become defensive. I'm still dealing with it, but coming to terms with this fact really helped me. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Good Luck

Answer 5

You are now mature enough to deal with the grief of losing your father. You will go through anger, frustration, and will probably realize your own mortality before you have come to terms with this loss. Take your time, work through each emotion and thought as it happens. No one can tell you how long you should grieve, but if it's interfering with living your own life, then it might be time to see a counselor who can better help you sort through all this. Be strong. Nothing is WRONG with you!! Can you talk to your mom about any of this? Or a grandparent?

Answer 6

you may have the strongest emotional attachment with your father thats why. your feelings are not wrong for a moment, but if you live like that upto now, there might be something bothering you inside at the back of your mind (unconsciously). there might have something in your childhood that triggered such emotions. If this situation causes trouble to you, you better find help from a guidance counselor or a psychologist. consulting them will do good to you.

Answer 7

Especially during growing up, children feel the need of parents for guidance, support and sharing. There are things you can can easily share with your father using very little words, which is difficult to share with others. This is natural and you will get over it in a few years. As you grow older, your confidence on yourself will grow more and more and learn to sustain the faith that you, on your own, can take correct decisions.

best of luck

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with you, psychologically. (Well, at least from what I can tell from your question.) Now that you're growing up, you can understand what role fathers have in people's lives, and you're thinking about why you don't have one, what having one would've been like...things you weren't old or mature enough to wonder about before. You weren't going to sit around when you were 4 and ponder all these things, were you? You didn't know any different! Keep thinking it out...this is part of who you are.

Answer 9

It may be that now that you are getting to adult life yourself you may need and miss your father´s example and model for your own life more and more. This is only natural. You may need his model to better understand yourself and to help you to know what kind of person you yourself may want to be or can be. And it may be also that only now you are able to fully and better understand him and his life and influence to your own life and only now you are needing him much more. And also you are beginning to understand adults and adult life fully and better and that may be why you are feeling angry towards those people, you understand better the whole situation in your father´s life. I hope this is of some little help to you and understanding yourself better.

Answer 10

I'm sure you miss the dad you never had to play ball with or tell you good job he's proud of you or to just hang out with, I'm sure it doesn't get any easier as you grow you just start to realize how much more you miss him, I to don't have a dad and at times like when I got married I missed that,just think about your future and how great you will one day be when you become a dad,live for today!!!!!!!!