I've been hving a long distance relationship with my bf for a yr n a half. He had never been with someone for so long coz he is kinda the freedom-loving guy. Im the first girl whom he has spent so much time with. It was his first time to be so in love n we even thought of having a commitment. Even we were separated, we were very in love. We lived together for a few months last year n travelled around.
However, he has been very busy since he changed his job last October. Since then he has no time for me, he has been confused about his feelings. Then, we saw each other again in Xmas and this new yr. His confusion was gone when we met. We had very great moments.
Few weeks after this trip finished, he was confused again. Last week he finally decided to break up. He said that he feels guilty coz i treat him so nice, and that he has lost his love feelings even he still cares about me so much.
2007-02-28 14:59:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
after we broke up, he called me to see how i am. I think he cares bout me and was worried. I dont know if i should talk to him coz u dont want him to think that im his 'friend' now and that our story is over.
On the other hand, i dont know if i should ignore him and give him time, and make him realize that he has lost me, but im worried that he will only be more used to the life without me in this way.
i love him so much so much that i think im gonna be so in love again in my life. anyone has advices on how to get him back? thanks alot.
2007-02-28 15:02:29 · update #1
thanks all for helping. Yea, i know that i should move on (one day). but right now i still wanna try my best to get him back. If i fail, i'll give up....
but i dont know if i should stay like his friends, talking to him as if we are good friends..... or should i ignore him so that he can realize what he has lost....... i dont know........... :'(
2007-02-28 15:18:23 · update #2
i'm going to have vacations soon and i wonder if i should go to see him.... he has rejected this idea.... i dont know.... somehow i wanna try my last effort... i wonder if his passion n love feelings will be back again if we meet... but it's very risky and maybe very hurting........
2007-02-28 15:22:14 · update #3
should i go seeing him?
2007-02-28 15:56:21 · update #4
Trust me: YOU DESERVE BETTER.
There's someone better out there. Go find him!
2007-02-28 15:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to get the answer you want to hear.. I mean, I can say "boil three large condor eggs in lamb's piss, dance around it for thirty minutes and say his name two hundred times", but no matter how many times you try this, it won't help you. The only thing you can do is realize that the relationship is over, and that you still have time to prevent yourself from feeling stupid by still pursuing it.. Because when you realize you can't win, about a year later you'll look back on the situation and think "wow, I wish I didn't say that.." or my personal favorite "wow, I wish i played it cool".
Basically, he has other interests in mind, and you are an obstacle for him achieving his objectives. He has come to terms with this, and you clinging on is only making him resent you for forcing yourself as an obstacle. Broken hearts hurt. It's a real physical pain. Not that metaphorical bullshit people feed each other.. Being broken-hearted is an actual physical pain, tension and pressure in your chest and head. All side-effects, culminated with a desire to fix the situation, feeling sorry for oneself, and of course the emotional stress associated with feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Your only ally is time. You need to let time pass for you to get over him, and you need to make time pass faster so this occurs quicker. The best way to do this is to keep yourself busy and away from thoughts of him. You might feel utterly like **** right now, and chances are, he doesn't. That makes it feel even worse doesn't it? Well, the reality of the situation is, you are gaining some VERY valuable life-experience and you are going to be smarter and more insightful because of it. Let him move on, let yourself move on.. Trust me, you'll never feel as bad as you do right now, ever again.. especially if you really loved this guy. Either way, you'll be fine.
2007-02-28 15:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mr Cooper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend committed to a long distance relationship because he was still a fun loving guy. It is much different than having a girlfriend that is there with you . Had you been there it may not have lasted a year and a half. As much as it may hurt you need to realize that if the relationship didnt progress to even the possibility of moving closer to eachother in a year and a half than most likely it wouldn't have worked out. I was in a long distance relationship , that because we honestly cared for eachother I moved three thousand miles to be with him. Then in return because he cared about me we moved back to my home town. Any break up of course will hurt , but when someone says they arent inlove with you anymore , you owe it to yourself not to beg. You will find someone who will love you unconditionally and no amount of time apart will change that.
2007-02-28 15:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he has already given you his answer. If someone is telling you that they are confused, it is probably a polite and sheepish way to tell you that he is seeing someone else or is just plain not interested anymore. This does not make you any less of a person/ lover/ girlfriend/ guide.... it just means that he is on to other things. It is hard to recapture a moment that has been lost, even if it has been a one sided loss. There is nothing you can do...but move on yourself. There ARE plenty of fish in the sea if you open your self up to other possibilities, do not waste your time on someone that is not so sure of where their feelings stand as they will just take advantage because they are to wishy washy to put their foot down. Time to take charge and get on with the new!!!!!
2007-02-28 15:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberlee Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like commitment phobia on his part. On the super plus side, from what you say, he cares very much for you and does have fond intimate moments. Give him all the room he needs, and start seeing other people, even as friends at first. If he realizes that you are moving on with your life, it may cause him to check himself and see what he is losing. It also may not. It is so hard when you realize that we can not make someone love us like we love them. But try to love you enough to move on. Good luck to you.
2007-02-28 15:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by sashali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing. i am probably going to tell you something you don't want to hear...but i think that if you are trying to keep him for fear of losing him, that's not healthy. if he is calling you to see if you're ok, it means he probably feels bad that he hurt you. but that doesn't mean he wants to be with you. and if you do get back with him now, it might only be because he has that guilt.
the ABSOLUTE best thing you can do is to let him go. if he really does love you and miss you, he'll come back and you'll know it's for the right reasons. and if he doesn't, you'll know he really has lost those feelings for you, and you will be MUCH better off to not be with him in that case, than you would to be with him only because he feels bad and wants to make you happy.
i hope you feel better soon, and i am sure it will all work out for the best.
2007-02-28 15:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go see him, don't cling... don't call him... and don't let him pity you or feel bad for you, this is the last thing you want.
Give him time to realize he lost you, if he loves and want to be with you, he will come back, if you hang around he'll never realize he lost you. Focus on yourself in the meanwhile, love yourself.
Good Luck
.... Hope the advice is usefull...
Wait a minute, i think i will follow my own advice.
2007-03-03 18:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by Raquel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance relations are hard on both side, always.
both grows mentally and find new interest. Guys, however, are more visual and need that to stimulate them in any relationships, that's the way it is....
I say, keep the friendship and grow positive, career wise and he will be back in your passenger seat soon enough. try not to smother him with your desperate issue of not being love etc...
He needed space, he took space....if he really loves you, eventually he find space and time to be back into your life...there!
expect everytime he sees you, he'll be nice.. because of sex
2007-02-28 15:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by NEMESIS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it rather is advisable to furnish him a splash time yet,then bypass to him and ask him to sit down with you and dicuss the full difficulty.permit him pay attention your side of the tale and that it replaced right into a one night element with the different guy,and that he skill no longer something to you.clarify to him that your no longer guy or woman who does that variety of element,that this replaced into the only different guy you were with,and then tell him the variety you genuinely experience approximately him.After that the only element you're able to do is,ask him to be completely ordinary with you approximately how he feels approximately you,and take it from there.I desire you each and every and all the appropriate and desire issues artwork out for you.
2016-09-30 01:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this hits really close to home. It is hard to accept! he loves you but not the way he used to. What you need to do is move on. I know its hard to do. Go out with new people. Have fun.
2007-02-28 15:12:22 · answer #10 · answered by rondalaurell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just move on serously i mean forget bout him if he dosent want to be with u then just live that way and besides whats the point of having a boyfriend if he wont spend time with u
2007-03-07 07:53:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋