What do u think of my poem??

Question

The Final Day of Grendel


Lo, gather the guards of God's forsaken
He alone and aloof; ostracized by all,
His rage had boiled: revealed and wretched.
A son in his halls, whom hell hath sent
Stumbled in stupor o'er Satan's path
A trail of life bled red, lost limb.
Earth quiet in fear, quakes and quivers
Slow crawled he, the wretched one
Blood boiled and broke the crust.

Weeps blood trails o'er the whale-road
Dances the crests of death and doom
The demon drifts downward to rest.
His barren house, badged with blood
Sorrow filling the monster skull
With savage crimes of the serial stalker.
He cursed by birth, punished of God
Sprung of Cain, never a chance.
Seed of evil on the darkest day
Tormenting kin on walkways of silence.
Jealous of flesh, he followed his fate.
Curled now in silence, serene in thought,
Peace at last: Free of Fate!

How much do u rate it from 1 - 100 ?
Is there any error? Plz correct them for me.
Thank you so MUCH!

Answer 1

I'd say it was about 98% I wouldn't give it to any young kids. They might not like all the blood (but I do). I think your poems are dark and mysterious- the thing i like keep on going!

One other thing:
"Slow crawled he- the wretched one"
Or is it good the way you had it?
I like it both ways!
=D
AWESOME!

Answer 2

I'd say a good 90. I like the Grendel story. Unfortunately he wasn't cursed by God or son of satan. He just wanted revenge for the wrong done to him by king. The king killed his father and left him for dead as a child. I'd say he's more like the kings curse. None the less, a very well done poem. Flows well, and is very visual. Great job.

The Syko Ward

Answer 3

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably could desire to rhyme even though it needs to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is important besides. i do no longer opt for to 2nd guess what i'm analyzing approximately. I continuously seem for what I term "poetic gem stones"in the textual content cloth.

Answer 4

I think it is quite different. But yet good in its way. Not sure if I could write a poem but I give it a 96 as it contents are quite unusually

Answer 5

Personally, I think only Christians will understand it, so for that reason I'll say non-Christians would give it 30%. Christians 90% or more. I encourage you to keep writing. It moved me. Good Luck!!!