Who has the legal rights to this baby?

Question

I am 33 weeks pregnant, and my now ex bf disappeared when I was about 28 weeks. We broke up at this time and he kicked me out of the house that we were living in, and he didn't bother to give me any food to eat, he was negligent, irresponsible, and I generally think that he is incapable to be a father to my baby boy. I want to adopt the boy out when he is born, but my ex bf will not agree to adoption and he doesn't want any contact with me at all, but he told my best friend that if I don't want the baby then he and his mother will care for him. But if I am prepared to keep the baby then he doesn't want him. But I just don't trust him with my baby, even if he is the father. But he blames me for all that has been going on. He says that I didn't show that I loved him enough, and that I was immature. I know that for adoption that they need consent from both parents, but is there a legal way that I can adopt this baby boy out without the consent of his father, for the baby's sake?

I don't think he is capable of looking after this baby, because he sometimes comes home drunk with alcohol breath and verbally abuses me afterwards he apologizes and then next time it happens again, he doesn't like to take regular showers and brush his teeth and general personal hygiene. He hates washing his hands after going to the toilet and stuff like that, and on many occasions I have found myself very sick because he has touched food or something and I've eaten it not knowing that he's just been to the toilet. He goes about the house naked and even outside to the mailbox he will be naked. When he cooks for me, he uses rotten or bad food and he will come up with the excuse that he didn't know it was bad. I don't mind to give him the baby, but I am just worried that this baby will be in some danger or come to any harm if this boy is in his care.

Would anyone out there leave a defenceless young baby in the care of a person who does the above mention things or is it just me?

Answer 1

I would recommend contacting a local adoption attorney by phone. They can advise you at no charge. They can tell you what you and the birthfather's rights are. In some states, if he abandons you during the pregnancy and ceases contact it may result in loss of parental rights.

In some states if you name the father and he doesn't come forward in a certain time period, they place legals ads looking for him and if he fails to respond to those ads, it may result in his legal termination of parental rights. Law vary from state to state, so only rely on an adoption professional for advice.

Answer 2

iNCREDIBLE how many people will tell you to break the law, without even a clue as to where you are or the possible consequences.
In the US, every state HAS laws concerning what the rights are of unmarried fathers. As well as legal responsibilites. If you were to lie about the father, and allow an adoption to proceed, he would have every right to take you into court, contest any adoption, and assuming the child had already been placed... disrupt the entire lives of not just the baby, but persons who have been lied to.
None of any of this is as black and white as it seems. His EXACT rights will be up to the court to determine. It will be up to you to be honest about reasons that you may fear for babies safety, or why you would ask the court to limit his contact with the child, or even ask to terminate his rights, so the child can be adopted LEGALLY.
HIS rights are to come into court, and present his side of the issue. That would include visitation, or he can request even full custody. That is not to say he is going to GET the things he wants.. and the same applies to the other side.
The very best that you can do for this child, is to ensure that WHATEVER is done, is not under the table or illegal. It will come back and bite you in the rear end.

Answer 3

This one is simple.

#1. Do not let him know where you are going to have the baby. Do not let him know the doctor. Do not call him when you go into labor. Keep your delivery plans secret. This should be easy since he kicked you out of the house. When you get to the hospital tell them your mother or friend will be the only person allowed in the room with you and no one else.

#2. When they ask the name of the father, tell them you do not know. You could even say you slept with so many guys, you are unsure who the father is. They will put down "unknown" on the birth certificate.

#3. If your state has a "Baby Safe Haven Law...(AKA Baby Moses Law, AKA "Baby Safe Law" ) as soon as you get out of the hospital you go directly to a police station or fire department and hand the baby over and tell them you do not want the kid. Then walk away. (Read the laws, they are pretty simple to understand.)

#4. By the time he figures out you had the baby it will be too late for him to do anything about it. He will not be on the birth certificate and it will be almost impossible for him to track the kid down be cause he will not know exactly where you gave the kid up. The child service department will see to it the kid gets adopted by a good family. The Baby Moses Laws were designed for this exact kind of situation, where a woman is abandoned by the guy and she needs a way out OTHER than to drop the kid in a garbage can.

#5. He can rant and rave all he wants and if he threatens you, you get a restraining order against him.

Answer 4

Oh, please stop whining. You cannot place the child up for adoption without the fathers consent.....period.....

If you don't want the child, let the father have custody and raise it. You would then pay child support.

If you keep it, the father has visitation rights and must pay child support.

Those are your only options. Anything else about who is or is not capable, what is the best interest of the child or any other matters is for a court to decide.

From the sound of your information, neither one of you have the brains to raise a child. I say put it up for adoption so it can have a chance of being raised in a normal household.

Answer 5

No, you cannot give your child up without his father's consent. That is illegal. You need to consider this decision seriously because it is something that will affect you and your child forever. Read some sites made by real mothers who have given up their children, not just the peachy ones the adoption specialist will give you. http://thebinkster.com/thebirthmothertree/ I think you live in Australia from your other questions. Australia has very strict laws regarding adoption and the adoption process. I know they will provide parenting payments to any parent who wants to keep their child.

Don't lie about it and say you don't know who the dad is on the forms either because the father will know that you have had the baby and will be able to get custody from the adoptive parents. I kept my daughter and walked away from adoption, NEVER for one moment have I regretted my choice.

Answer 6

I hate to say it.... But you could always do what anna nicole did...give the baby a different daddy.... or write it unknown on the birth certificate. Of course, you will have to live with that decision.....and so will the baby. then the question is....is it fair to the baby boy? He didn't ask to be born....or to be conceived. THat's completely on you and your boyfriend. Do you think that he is incapable of loving his own flesh and blood? You said you didn't trust him? Why not? And is that opinion influenced by the rift between you and he? If his mother can be a good parent to the baby, then why do you object to her involvement? In the end, he can request paternity tests to be completed to confirm his relationship to your baby and that will restore his legal rights to claim his son. I don't know either of you and I can't advise you on what to do, but in my honest opinionn.... If you don't want the baby and intend to give him away (and you probably should if you hold ill feelings for his father).... I think you should consider the possibilities of letting his family take the baby. They will, more than likely, give him everything he needs and without the anger. I don't know.... it just seems like the right thing to do; it's also the mature thing to do....... But that's just my 2 cents worth. GOod luck to you and your son.

Answer 7

2 wrongs don't make a right!
You sound like you don't want the child but you don't want the father to have the baby either. Being a good spouse is different than being a father. Maybe he'll be a great dad. Give him the chance to do that.

Answer 8

if you want to put the baby up for adoption you need to get a lawyer to tell you if you can do it without his consent. You might try to call him to talk to him about the baby. If you are going to keep the baby you need to file for child support now. That way you will be receiving it when the baby is born. It sounds like he is the immature one to kick you out when you are 28 weeks preg with his child.

Answer 9

Well first off you should have thought of all this 34 weeks ago. You are screwed he has a legal right to this baby, your best bet is to tell him you will keep the baby and make him sign over all rights or you will take him to court for support which he will have to pay. When he signs it then you can legally give the baby up for adoption.

Answer 10

move to a different state ,do not declare your bf as the dad.
Or move to a different state do not allow any one to know where you are. Name Santa Clause as the Father or As unknown. After the delivery of your child you can go to any police or fire station in the United States and hand your child over to them with no questions asked and walk away.You can also do this I believe at any hospital or Church . Contact legal aid first to find out all your legal options.
The best to you and your child.