When we first met, he told me that he got a girl friend but not married. One day I called his home and found out from his mother that he has a 4 months old baby and married.. I confronted him but he told me their relationship was bad and they don't communicate at all. It was too late for me to leave because I already fell in love so deeply with him. We continue the secret relationship until last year without the knowledge of his wife....and then he told me we have to end it because he starts feeling guilty about his act and he do not wants to cheat his wife anymore. Furthermore it is unfair for me since he cant marry me. I felt so heart broken. It has been 2 months he left I still depressed and cry. We still keep in touch thru phone and emails and he keep sending encouraging messengers to me..like be strong etc....I still love him but hate him leave me...shall I tell his wife ? Or shall I just let go and maintain as good friends with him?(this is what he wants)
2007-02-28 14:44:27 · 28 answers · asked by pink bubble 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wash your hands of this guy and get on with your life. He probably never had intentions of leaving the wife. He used
you. BUT you can get the upper hand by getting on without
him... go find yourself a single guy.... you deserve it... telling
his wife would only look bad on you...because you allowed
the affair to go on. BUT, nothings to say that you couldn't send
flowers to his home addressed to him and put on the card, that
you enjoyed last night and look forward to being intimate again...
believe me she will know if she doesn't already...
my guess is that she suspects.... if not then this will send her
a anonymous message.... GOOD LUCK
2007-02-28 14:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by my-stang 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course he wants to be friends with you, he is afraid that you will tell. But I don't think you should tell his wife, after all she is not the one that hurt you. He is the bad guy. I know you won't want to hear what I have to say , but I think any time a woman has an affair with a married man then if she gets hurt and she usually does. then you deserve it. What if you were the wife and this was being done to you and you had a baby, would you want anyone to feel sorry for the woman who was having an affair with your husband? No. You should have broken it off with him when you first found out that he was married. This was your first mistake. And now that he is done with you , you are considering hurting his wife when you were the Ono in the wrong. Nonono. Please. If you must hurt someone hurt that pig that knew what he was doing and knew at some point that he was going to dump you.
2007-02-28 23:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are hurt and you feel like revenge would help some of the hurt go away, but two wrongs don't make a right. You mentioned that he has a baby involved in this. Would you want to hurt the child's life by this. Remember, he is a slimbag, but you also knew he was married and you continued to see him. What you both did was very wrong and if some woman did that with your husband how would you feel? Count this as a big mistake that you and this lowlife both made and put it behind you. Find a decent unmarried man to have a relationship with and cut off all email and phone contact with this man. You know it is not right and you wouldn't want someone pursuing your husband even by email and phone. Leave his wife alone - she will find out when he starts an affair with someone else(and trust me he will).
2007-02-28 22:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you can't be his friend because you still love him. And you did know early on the truth and you still continued with the relationship with him. You could have easily ended at any stage after he told you he was married and had a child.
Basically, you need to get on with your life and leave him behind. Telling his wife will achieve absolutely nothing except make you feel like you have 'got him back'.
At the very least, you could let him know by email that it's over and you have no intention of having any contact with him ever again and encourage him to tell his wife the truth.
Maybe he can salvage his marriage, but there is a child involved and that little person is the innocent party here.
Chin up love - we all make mistakes, and that is fine as long as you learn from them.
2007-02-28 23:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kylie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want to tell his wife-she has done you no harm and hurting her is not a honorable thing to do. Why do you even want to continue with him-LOST CAUSE and time you moved on and made a life with a future for yourself. The guy has lied to have a Physical relationships with you-hes a cad and now he is being so considerate of you that he is sending you encouraging messages to further string you along and have his sex on the side AND his marriage. Consider also that if you tell his wife she may be smarter and leave the cad BUT there is also a child whi will grow up with divorced parents which considering the guys lack of honor,principles may happen anyway but you do not want to be repsonsible for this do you. I advise you cut off all communication with him, Do Not See Him and start having a life and not just be there for someone elses physical amusement. Do not anylonge allow yourself to be used-value yourself more
2007-02-28 22:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand all your feelings including the feeling of revenge. You must consider this, however: telling his wife will not bring him back and you will hurt an innocent woman who does not deserve it.
If he reconsidered going back to his wife and wants to turn over a new leaf, you must let go, no matter how much you love him.
I lived the other side of the story and I can guarantee he still thinks of you.
Love is like an elbow. It hurts like crazy for a while but eventually you are ok again.
Keep him as a good memory and look for someone else.
Above all, do not tell the wife.
2007-02-28 22:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by yo y 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How could you be good friends with that legacy behind you. Save your dignity, pick up the pieces and go forward in your life without him in the picture. Don't even stoop to the level of telling his wife. Why pain her the way he has hurt you. Let it go!
Additional thought: It appears that the reason he is sounding "encouraging" by saying, be strong, etc and wants to stay "friends", is because he's afraid you will tell. That's a good one! I don't mean to sound harsh, but spare yourself any more humiliation.
Have success in the future.
2007-02-28 23:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by mc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look I know you are hurting.
But when you found out he was married and had a baby I dont care how much you was falling for him you should have left him along.
Now you are mad because he has ended.
He is trying to do right by his family.
Why will go and tell his wife and break up his happy home.
He told you it was someone from the start.
Just pick up the pieces and move on.
2007-02-28 23:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you first met him he told you that he had a girlfriend, at that point you should have been smart enough to stay away from him, you have no reason to hate him, you should be hating yourself for being so stupid, does not matter what he told you and when, what matters is that you knew from the beggining that he was involved and you could not have him so its your own fault for still going with him and falling in love with him, sorry to tell you, but if you tell his wife then you will not even be friends with him and all you will make is trouble, he will lie to his wife and tell her that he does not know you and she will believe him and you will still be in the same position that you are in right now but more hurt
leave him alone and don't even be friends with him and finsd a guy that is single
2007-02-28 23:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you even think of getting involved with another man -- Buy the book "He's just not that into you" by John Behrent. You have made your bed now lay in it. Do not tell his wife. Do not keep making excuses, You did this to yourself. The only victims here are his wife and child. DO NOT BE HIS FRIEND. For heavens sake --GROW UP!!!!!!!!
2007-02-28 23:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by BABYDOLL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I 1st read your title question, I was thinking that he left you for anothe woman...BUT you're the other woman. What good did you think would come from this "relationship". He has lied to you and his wife. You can move on from this, but the wife is stuck in the relationship with this man who has been unfaithful to her for 6 years. I'm pretty sure she expects something but I hope she finds out about the affair so she can move on too.
2007-02-28 23:10:07 · answer #11 · answered by gloried 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋