a tough time,or be having a bad day?or even a phase in their life where they don't want to talk about me?How should i handle this if they are just acquiantances i see every once in awhile?
2007-02-28 14:43:26 · 9 answers · asked by chris t 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There could be several reasons for the way they are acting
One reason could be they are feeding off of you, it could be the way that you are acting (or the way they perceive you are acting) causes them to be standoffish
Another reason could be that its just part of their personality or temperament. You said they are just an acquittance, so maybe that's how they act around people they don't know well. I know that this tends to be how I am until I get to know you enough to let my guard down.
Another reason could be that there is some anxiety there for whatever reason. Many people can feel anxious because of the different groups people belong too (you belong to the outgroup). I'm just now learning about this, and although many of us tend to want to deny making judgments about outgroups it isn't really something we can entirely control, especially without a very conscious effort. They may have had a bad experience with someone you share a common group with (i.e. bad experience with a business man and you are a business man)
Another reason could entirely depend on their first impression of you. First impressions are one of the hardest things to change. So maybe you were having a bad day when you met them and were acting a little standoffish, so now that is what they expect of you and thus act towards you.
And of course you could be right in that they are just having a bad day or there is something in their life that is causing them stress.
And I'm sure there are probably several other explanations for their behavior. While psychology wants to explain peoples' behaviors it is very complex and very unpredictable. Its best to not worry about why, because it could be something that is entirely not your fault or have anything to do with you.
As far as how to handle them, just be nice and friendly back so as to counteract any anxiety or negative feelings they might have. Hopefully with time they can warm up too. But if its just part of their temperament there isn't much you can do.
And I hope I didn't confuse you, its kinda hard to explain such complexities as human behavior in a simple answer.
2007-02-28 15:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something I've noticed myself too.
You might not like this answer, but it's possible that it's all in your head. At times, I feel the same way and look back upon the event the next day and see that it was likely in my head.
However, most day I find that when I sense some awkwardness, I am right on the money.
It is difficult (if not impossible) to tell whether it is you, the other person/people, or a combination of both.
One thing I have to stress is that I really doubt it is your fault either way and that it's important you don't blame yourself for it. I hate to get into the whole "your feelings" crap, but this is the truth.
Human interaction just goes this way sometimes.
Good luck.
2007-03-01 14:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by Think. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have learned that this is QUITE often the case. I have a tendency to pretend I don't see the standoffish attitude....call it what you will....I know that I don't want to give power to someone who is being cold....I act naturally and with a smile. IF they are being nasty, I did not give them any satisfaction. If their attitude has NOTHING to do with me, well, I was nice and maybe my kindness helped them in some small way.
NOW....if I am really feeling evolved....unafraid to put my REAL feelings out there...I ask the person if there is something wrong.
Amazing how a straight question can almost always elicit a straight answer.
Good question....you made me think. Thank you.
2007-02-28 15:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are standoffish because of all of those reasons. Unless they are people that are very close to you that you care for very much, try not to worry about why they are acting like that. It may have nothing or everything to do with you. The fact is that it doesnt matter. If they choose to stay away from you, let them. If they have a problem with you, it hasnt been voiced and it may not ever be. Don't worry about why people act the way they do...Let it be.
2007-02-28 14:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by winterblues 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are only casual acquaintances, I wouldn't even worry about it. Yes, everyone has bad days--and yes, sometimes people do take that out on others. Just be polite when you see them, and hopefully they will do the same.
Good luck :)
2007-02-28 14:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them be. We all have days when we want to mull things over (well at least we introverts do).
So long as you are warm and open, everyone else can please themselves.
2007-02-28 15:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by Imogen Sue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not want to talk about you...and i am not standoffish...good luck
2007-02-28 14:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by Michael K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be afreind and they be afreind if not its ther loss
2007-02-28 14:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by ken m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they don't like you.
2007-02-28 14:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by RiverGirl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋