my research essay paper...can u tell me if i need to add something more in my 1 paragraph...and any corections

Question

so here is my first paragraph:


As the grievances mounted and the desire for independence intensified, the American Revolution began. The colonists recognized the need for unity so they joined forces under the leadership of the continental congress. There were several goals and challenges for the patriots as they attempted to forge unity under the articles of confederation. There states were wary of centralized and remote government because of their experience with the English parliament. So the national government had limited power. They could borrow and coin money, conduct foreign affairs, set policy toward American Indians, settle disputed between the states. The articles of confederation were powerless when it came to money because they could ask states but not require them to give money, each state had one vote regardless of population, while all this was going on; they were fighting the war, the confederation was weak because congress needed money for the war debts and they couldn’t tax the states, while some states avoided paying their share of the national debt and congress printed paper money and it wasn’t backed by gold or silver. In 1784 there was an economic depression because the British markets leave after the war. They flooded the states with inexpensive good and merchants could not keep up with low prices. The articles were powerless which leads us to the constitution. And since the articles were too weak, they could not force the state to pay taxes.

Answer 1

The colonists recognized the need for unity so they joined forces under the leadership of the continental congress. --capitalize continental congres

here were several goals and challenges for the patriots as they attempted to forge unity under the articles of confederation--capitalize articles of confederation

There states were wary of centralized and remote government because of their experience with the English parliament.--capitalize parlament


== means change to...

There states were wary of centralized and remote government because of their experience with the English parliament. So the national government had limited power==
There states were wary of centralized and remote government because of their experience with the English parliament, so the national government had limited power

They could borrow and coin money, conduct foreign affairs, set policy toward American Indians, settle disputed between the states.==
With this limited power, they could borrow and coin money, conduct foreign affairs, set policy toward American Indians, andsettle disputed between the states.

The articles of confederation were powerless when it came to money because they could ask states but not require them to give money, each state had one vote regardless of population, while all this was going on; they were fighting the war, the confederation was weak because congress needed money for the war debts and they couldn’t tax the states, while some states avoided paying their share of the national debt and congress printed paper money and it wasn’t backed by gold or silver. ==
The articles of confederation were powerless when it came to money. All they could really do was ask states to volunteer their money, however they could not put regulations on this or demand the cash. Another flaw was that regardless of population, each state had one cote. In the midst of all of this the colonist were getting weaker because the needed money, but as noted above, had no direct rule of the states. Some states however, did fess up some money, which turned out more valuable than congress money, which wasnt back by gold or silver.

In 1784 there was an economic depression because the British markets leave after the war. They flooded the states with inexpensive good and merchants could not keep up with low prices. The articles were powerless which leads us to the constitution. And since the articles were too weak, they could not force the state to pay taxes.==
In 1784 there was an economic depression among the newly independent America because the British markets chose to leave after the war. They flooded the states with inexpensive good and the local merchants could not keep up with low prices, which in turn gave the British more proffit. Obviously, the Articles of Confederation were pointless, which led to the conceiving, drafting, and signing of the Constitution which we abidide by today


i have a few spelling errors in there, but thats was spell check is for

Answer 2

I hope you detailed or will detail what those "grievances" were or else you are being vauge. Again on goals and challenges better say what they were, but it was not under the articles of the confederation which did not come about until 1787 four years after Britain acknowledged their independence.

"There" is the wrong use in the next sentance. "The" I believe is the right one. Plus I believe each state was wary of giving up their rights or how much say they would have in such an arrangement.

It was not a Nation so it could not have National Government you should keep with Continental Congress. I believe they had limited abilites to coin or borrow money . Get rid of the indians as they play little role here and you are reaching.

Ok, let us forgo your paper for a moment and talk. What grade are you? Is this a "five paragraph theme" or a full blown essay? What are you trying to say and talk about? Get an outline down and stick to it. Know your facts and how to use them through out the report. ie the Articles are a piece of paper and the forrunner to the Constitution. Congress is the entity that is having the troubles you are speaking on.

Outline

Introduce your paper with a thesis statement and tell them what points you are going to cover.

Body covers the points in your introduction.

Conclusion. Restate your thesis and closing remarks how you proved your points.

Spell check and proof read carefully as There Their are both real words and will get skipped.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Capitalize the Articles of Confederation and grammar check it once more. I found some incorrect uses of "there". Also, for your comas, don't overuse them. Seperate it into a new sentence. Overall it was very nice! Good job!

Answer 5

It looks very good.

Third sentence from the bottom.
They flooded the states with inexpensive good and merchants could not keep up with low prices.

I'd change good to goods.

That's my only suggestion.

Answer 6

i give the guy above best answer...musta took him forever to do all that editing

Answer 7

its great! keep it as is!