Should I give my Stay-At-Home husband an allowance?

Question

We are in a role reversal marriage. He stays home and is a full-time househusband and I am the full-time breadwinner. No kids in the picture at this time. We made this decision to have him home so he could get used to homemaking for when we have kids.

Anyway, I'm thinking of giving my husband an allowance for his personal spending. While he is not putting us into debt, he is buying video games, movies, computer stuff, etc. The idea is to help him learn how to manage life a little better.

And NO - he is not sitting around doing nothing all day. He has been the model homemaker.

Any suggestions on whether an allowance is a good idea. What do you think?

Answer 1

Your doing the right thing, I'm am a woman with two children and i would do the same as your doing. And I'm am sure other people would agree with you and support you on your decision.

I said go ahead and show the world what a women can do. As for his allowance it is his choice on how he want to spend it. As long he faithful to you and help around the house, is there for you emotionally and physically your find .

Answer 2

Since he is your husband he is also a grown man and not your child that you teach money management to by giving him a allowance as a teacching tool. In order to avoid him overspending on the items you mentioned you draw up a budget: Bills,Weekly Household money_groceries,gas etc, money into Savings and Mad money Amount with only the Amount that is established as Mad Money being used to buy the items you mentioned.This budget is drawn up by the both of you and since he has to also manage the money set aside for Household him being the Househusband this is a beter way for a "ADULT" to learn Money Management. Since you've already taken the money and put it into savings-the only money he then has access to is household and mad money(savings can fluctuate from week to week or considering the amount of your weekly takehome and your necessary expenditures-bills-a set weekly amount) he cannot really overspend too much and the only harm is if he dips into the household money but since you state he's a good modl househusband not much danger in that and if he does not much harm except perhaps are short on grocery money and will have to eat some cheaper food-if so he will eat cheaper food and not you.It gives you more control without it being obvbious control and allows him to manage the Mad money.Actual budget books or budget plans on the computer are great for doing this.

Answer 3

If you guys don't have kids yet he needs to get a job! I don't have anything against men staying home with the kids (I know of one family that did that because they had all boys and they were really rowdy til their dad stayed home with them instead of their mom) BUT I think that when there aren't any kids involved then both people should work...otherwise someone is usually being a leech. Now after you have kids then you should decide what amount of money you can afford for him to have as spending money but don't call it an allowance...that makes it seem like you're his mom and that won't be good for your marriage.

Answer 4

If he's already spending the money he has buying video games, and movies and computer stuff, why would your "allowance" you give him be any different? I mean, maybe if you specifically said it was for BILLS, or GROCERIES or other things you specifically ask him to pay with the allowance, then maybe yeah - that would work. I don't think it's a bad idea, so long as he understands that it's not just pleasure money and that he should be using it for both self and family expenses.

Answer 5

It might be a good idea; however, you probably shouldn't call it an "allowance", say its his "paycheck" and give him a performance appraisal once in a while. This may keep him happy and he may feel important, not like a child who receives an allowance. At the same time, receiving a "paycheck" will keep him being the model homemaker and not falling into the trap of laziness.

Answer 6

Honestly, I think you sound like a control freak. And I would say this if you were a man asking this question about his wife. I use to be a stay at home wife/mom and my husband would put his checks in the bank and never questioned me on what I did or spent, nothing. He was so happy with the way I took care of him and the house and kids I could do anything I wanted. If you are going to be in the role of the breadwinner , don't make him feel like crap about it. He should have access to the bank account just the same as you do. If not if I were him I would go get a job so as I could have money to spend on whatever I wanted.

Answer 7

while i think its a good idea that your husband is going to be a stay at home Dad. I think its a good idea that you encourage him to get a part time job at least until the children come. Not only will it make him appreciate you and what you do.... it will show him how hard you have to work to make a dollar and teach him to be really carefully how he spends his money. I think that an allowance is a great idea. just be carefull not to make him feel belittled. Talk with him and tell him why you are doing what your doing...and ask him for his imput. The last thing you want to do is make him feel like you controlling him.
Good luck.....

Answer 8

Well you need to ask him. However it sound like the bucket is leaking and you think controlling how much water you put in will fix the problem. You are walking a fine line between teaching a lesson and helping him learn. I would guess you are very controlling. I think you will push it to the limits and so relieve yourself of the dead weight. Next time get a dog and quit messing with people

Answer 9

Yes, an allowance is a good idea.

You are the breadwinner. You need to assume the overall financial responsibility of your relationship. That includes keeping an eye on his spending. Since you are seeing "warning signs", this might be a good way to be proactive. Again, be careful not to emasculate him. He probably already feels partially emasculated.

Answer 10

At first I was like, why not?

Then I read your post and I'm like, there's no kids yet? And he's home all day? TRAINING on how to run the house with the kids?

I didn't know I'd feel like this but. in answer to your question, why not give him an allowance.