My thoughts on the battle of the sexes...?

Question

I just read the rant by arunjab. I can understand his point of view. Questions like this one "Who has kicked a guy in the balls" lend credit to our concerns. I am happy to see that many confronted her question. I will attempt to give a more edgy scenario.
If a man strikes a woman he can almost count on being arrested.
However, who often does a woman striking a man result in her arrest? This is what happened to me.
Several years ago my g/f and I had a bad fight and police were called. No violence occured but I was forced out of the house or faced arrest. (a mitigating factor is that I had family in town and she did not).
2 months later after we agreed to give the relationship another try, She attempted to hit me and bit me in the face drawing blood. I did not fight back for fear of going to prison. I did eventually get her off me and I sustained light wounds on my face. Comparing both incidents, I faced arrest for no violent action, and she faced "charges" for assault. Thoughts?

2nd of all Mad Mac, No man who is bigger than a woman should hit her. I agree. Lets take is step further shall we asnd no Man or woman should hit another who is smaller that he or she. You almost read my post accurately. It is not a complaint. It is a provoking question about my experience. Are you trying to villify me? I think violence is wrong except is self defense.

Jaquay, Thanks for more accurately describing the title. I knew it wasn't accurate but did not think it political, rather cultural.
Thx to all,even Mad4Mac, for your thoughts.

Answer 1

Women definitely have the advantage when it comes to the legal system, but sometimes even their cries go unnoticed.

I'm at a loss as to my ability to find the statistics now (I'm in a foreign country studying), but in one of my old classes, a men's health class, we were studying domestic violence and violent crimes in general.

Most violent crimes? They are occurred against men.

Here's the real kicker. Most people think that domestic violence occurs something like 95% of the time against women. That's just not true. It turns out the more realistic number is closer to 50/50.

When a woman goes to a hospital with bruises, its asked "was it your husband?" ... whereas when a guy goes to the hospital with bruises, they aren't going to ask, "did your wife abuse you?" Even if it is asked, how many men are going to admit to being beaten by their partner? Not many.

People are more likely to sympathize with the woman, but that is how our culture is. The men are made to look like the villains; the woman the victim. Often times, it is the other way around.

Please do not misunderstand me - I am not saying that I think the domestic violence laws are crap, or our culture is bad, etc. I'm saying that what we have is a great start - for women. Men need to be more outspoken and let it be known that domestic violence does occur both ways. It's just as likely a wife will beat up on a husband as it is the other way around.

It's also nice that women have something like a "battered womens shelter." Considering that just as often men are the victims - why don't we have something like that where we could take the children to?

Answer 2

Why do heathens keep posting that women make less than men?

Why?

What kind of thought processes lead to this kind of analysis? Do you not think, heathens out there, that if a man were payed more than a woman, that there would be an OUTRAGE, and that the employer would be fired?

I guess it really is no use arguing though; rhetoric is slung around and around and around. Sickening.

To answer the question, it's the legal double standard aided by chivalrous attitudes and feminist lobbying. (Anybody who wishes to contest this may, but it's neither fruitful nor accurate to do so; how ELSE did such laws come into effect and why ELSE would men be arrested more often than women, even if they were not violent?)

I'd just like to say that violence is obviously not a mental "disorder" for the record. We have to LEARN not to act out our anger; is it not natural to yell at and attack something that has wounded or offended us? You see the same behavior ALL OVER the animal kingdom. You can't possibly tell me that's a disorder. Maybe it's not ideal as defined by society, but it's not a disorder. Stop slinging around faulty science based upon SOCIAL THEORY instead of empirical and logical (deductive AND inductive) observations.

EDIT: A little note about the APA:

http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2006/feb/060216A.html

Read the section "CONSENSUS SCIENCE IS NOT SCIENCE" if you REALLY care about the truth as opposed to a compromise that makes people feel better.

Consider EVERYTHING when you want to make a strong argument, heathens out there.

Answer 3

Most Women will now tell You to 'get over it' because You must have initiated the violence. Trust Me when I tell You that I have worked with enough psychiatric patients to be able to state that females can be, and indeed are just, if not more violent than Males. A Woman will plead defense when She lashes out at You. A Male is far more likely to be arrested by Female Police Officers for Domestic Violence than is a Female. Guess why? Because it solves all the problems for Them. I had a friend who was bashed in prison because He was arrested for assault. He was the victim in more ways than one.

Answer 4

I can assure you that this problem is surfacing more and more, and the best thing to do is exactly what you did: speak out. One can NOT assume that the man is always the aggressor, and one can NOT assume that a larger male isn't a victim of abuse. But that's the popular myth. A friend of mine gave a co worker a ride home because his car wouldn't start and his wife said, "Why did you bring him home? You should have left him walk!" He showed up one day wih a practically useless hand because she knocked him down and ground it under her foot.

The best thing to do is pursue charges vigorously which isn't easy because even your friends will laugh at you for being beaten up by a girl. That's why most abuse of men isn't reported.

Someone looked to see what records were being kept on men who had been raped, and there were none. We know that isn't because it doesn't happen. It does, but they're afraid of being labeled gay. Rape has the same consequences for men as it does for women. But reporting it is a whole different issue, an order of magnitude more difficult than a woman faces.

Answer 5

Questions pertaining to physical assault - like the 'balls' thing, I don't even respond to anymore. These people are disturbed, and nothing I can say will help. I really admire that you told us about a real-life situation with absolute honesty. Your integrity comes shining through: no complaints or cranking. I don't know this woman but I think this general rule applies nontheless: anybody who engages in violence is mentally DISTURBED. It's absolutely not your fault that she is a few bricks short of a load. She is mentally ill; if she wasn't attacking you she would be attacking somebody else. It's NOT your fault so don't take it personally. If you wrap your head around that common sense approach then anger will dissipate and you will feel better. The woman is mentally ill and you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Until she deals with her own demons anyone and everyone can find themselves at the receiving end of an angry outburst. "Madformac" was absolutely correct in his observation that "You faced arrest because in a situation like that, the police wanted to separate you two ...". The cops really don't care about who is 'right' and whose is 'wrong'. They are far too busy to listen to "he said/she said.." Trust me, they REALLY don't care about your personal life. They just wanted to separate you two asap so they could move onto their NEXT call: don't take what happened with them personally either. It's just how they 'do business.' Too often I have reached the conclusion that cops are NOT 'the brightest stars shining in the night sky'. This is not and never was about 'battle of the sexes':

1. “Persons identified as having an aggressive and irritable personality were more likely to engage in aggressive behavior regardless of whether situations were provoking. “This may suggest that these persons have the capacity to engage in cold-blooded style of aggressive behavior, reacting harshly as a result to little or no agitation” said lead author B. Ann Bettencourt.”

2. “People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.”

EDIT: Shhhh...just wanted to give you the heads up; you have to make it really really simple for 'Cassius' and some of the others...shhhh....it will remain our little secret.

Answer 6

This doesn't sound like a question regarding strength between sexes, rather, political inequality. I understand your point of view about women being let off lightly for assaulting men when they face serious charges for striking women. But ask yourself this...is it really fair that women work the same jobs in this country and make 80% less than men? There are inequalities everywhere we look amongst races and sexes. This issue you bring up should be dealt with, just as all the other inequalities should. It's up to the men and sympathetic women out there to lobby for change.

Answer 7

First of all, no man who is bigger and stronger than a woman has any right to ever hit a woman for any reason unless he is defending himself.

Second, your girlfriend biting you is considered a personal attack. You faced arrest because in a situation like that, the police wanted to separate you two and she did not have family in town as you said you did. It obviously did not have anything to do with what you did with her or not. If you had hit her, you would have been taken away that night.

Third, I find your complaint here to be rather friviolous. What do you hope to gain? You have no basis to be upset since it seems, from what YOU have said, that no favoritism was given because she was female (which is what you are trying to do here).

Why is it that men don't look at their own bad behavior or look at things clearly, but want to blame the women in their lives? Why don't men grow up and take responsiblility for their actions? Why don't men go in for relationship counseling and really work on themselves instead of wish that she would "get fixed"?

Bottom line; I suggest you go to a battered womens shelter and asked to be educated. Maybe then you won't post such silly things that really make you look foolish. "Battle of the sexes"...I guess that says a lot about your thinking, doesn't it?

BTW, how would you like to be a woman and make less money (because of your gender, having nothing to do with your job performance), get discriminated against for being single (which women are when we don't have a man hanging on us), get treated like a second class citizen even though you contribute much more to society than men (who are child molesters, rapists and take up the most prision cells? MEN).

Answer 8

She bit you on the face?!?!? Holy crap...sorry, but what a psycho! Anyway, I'm glad you finally got out. I think that what another poster said is true...male victims need to start speaking out more. I'm not blaming the victim, just suggesting that the more men we have who are willing to come forward, the more our society will begin to accept and understand that this can happen to men, too, and then we as a society can change these social biases.

Answer 9

Biting a person can be considered a felonious assault in most jurisdictions. The reason is too obvious in this day and age to need discussion.

Answer 10

On the sexes:

"Men, women, it'll never work."

"Sometimes being a ***** is all a woman has to hold on to." - from the film "Dolores Claiborne."



But really, I think women have the raw deal based on a simple fact: Most power in the world is possessed by men. Whether it's economic power, linguistic, gender, race, culture -- men seem to surface more often than women. But men aren't all to blame. Women do it to themselves as well.