I think I may be transgender?

Question

Every since I could remember, I was never comfortable with being a male. I'd dress up like a girl, play dolls and all that girly stuff. All my friends are female, and I feel as though I connect more with females and my feminine side. I'm 17 now and I still feel uncomfortable being a male. And recently, the urge to be female has like....consumed my mind and my thoughts and such. So like, when I turn 18 I think I'd like to begin HRT and begin this journey...I know it will be hard, my family is religious and I'm damn sure that they will disown me......what else can i expect and what are some other things I should know? Please, give me advice, don't tell me I'm sick or w/e...closed minds are not welcomed to answer.

OK!
even though my fam may disown me or not talk to me, i feel very strongly about this...never have i felt this way about anything in my life.

also, in response to one of the answers, i AM gay...

Answer 1

I know how you feel, I am 19 now and felt that way when I was 17. My advice is to get a job or something and start making money, it is needed. Also, find a therapist who specalizes in gender issues, but don't tell your parents that part. Tell them it is for depression, or test anxiety at school or something. My family is religious too, and they still love me, with luck they will continue to love you as well.

If you want help finding a therapist or have any questions, or even if you want to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing you are now, please e-mail me or IM me or something.

Answer 2

Long, long post. Sorry!
I am a 20 yr old transgender myself, just starting out (cautiously) into this. I felt the exact same way as you 3 years ago, so much so that I had to respond to this immediately! Please, please take my word that the best thing you can do right now is to not run away from this. You must confront this issue and come to terms with yourself starting right now. Determining whether you are or are not transgender is an anguishing, long proceess, and I urge you not to jump to conclusions lightly. Being transgender is one of the hardest paths you can take through life, and you very seriously need to meditate on how such a choice is going to affect you. But if you are really female inside (and you know if you are or not), then your feelings will never, ever go away, no matter how much you ignore them. They will only consume you more and more as you get older.
I strongly recommend starting an anti-androgen regimin ASAP. An anti-androgen by itself is not as irreversible as full on hormone replacement with estrogen, and you can start it discreetly, without all the rigors of initiating full-on HRT (which I advise you see a therapist to do, but only after you are damn sure about it). However, you will get a very real feeling for what life is like without testosterone filling your bloodstream, the effects will amaze you and you will know for sure if you are comfortable giving up your manliness. Plus, it'll keep your body from masculizing any further while you figure yourself out. Consider taking 200 mg of Spironolactone daily, you can buy this now off the internet ( google "inhouse pharmacy") for about $35 per 100 tabs without a prescription. Read this page if you haven't already:
http://www.annelawrence.com/hormoneindex.html
Of course I don't endorse taking pills of any sort based solely on something you read on yahoo answers, however this was the only realistic option for me at your age and it may be helpful for you too...
Being transgender is beautiful and choosing not to pursue your real gender may leave you miserable your whole life. However, it is not all flowers and butterflies like the support groups make it out to be.
You can expect that your position in society will change GREATLY. Be prepared, many many people will become very rude to you. Your ability to advance in the workplace or get hired at all will be decremented greatly. People will act uncomfortable around you. You must be strong enough to take some seriously cold attitudes. You are going to have to be extra friendly and endearing, you will have to work twice as hard as everyone else for half as much approval by your peers.
My friend, whatever you do, please treat this with the utmost seriousness. You are embarking down a very difficult path, but you are not alone. If you have any worries, concerns, want to know more about what life is like in modern america as a young transgender, or anything else, feel free to email me! I am no doctor but I can tell you very realistically what my experience has been like, and since transgenderism is not something many people can or even will discuss, it may be helpful to you. May you find peace!

Answer 3

I don't understand the families of transexuals and homosexuals. You are only trying to be happy. The families are their desired sex and dating whomever. How can they just sit there telling a relative how she or she can live?
I did see an episode of "Dr. Phil" on this topic. There was a man wanting to be woman who thought that everything would be easy once he got the change. I may be a woman happy with her sex, but I have seen enough talk shows on the subject to know that it's no picnac.
I can't imagine how it must have been for Christine---the first person to a sex change in '49; I forgot her last name.

Answer 4

That kind of thing is a massive step and something that shouldn’t be rushed into. You need to build up a network of transgender friends, that way you’ll have an outlet to share your feelings with. They have walked down the same road before you, so they’ll know all the pitfalls and won’t be judgemental. I hope everything works out for you, just take things slowly. Best of luck.

Answer 5

I'm a lesbian female and not transgender, so I can't speak to the specific ins and outs, sorry. I did want to say though, you need to think long and hard, and make sure that the change is what you want. Go through whatever counseling or therapy you need to to make sure you're doing the right thing, and to learn how to live with it once you do it. Much respect for having the courage to face it and not spend years trying to convince yourself that you're something you're not; good luck.

Answer 6

I'm 20 and pre-op genderqueer and have wanted to start transitioning since i was 12. I had to wait to transition because of my parents. I'd recommend trying to focus on becoming self-sufficient so that you can make it on your own as soon as you turn 18. Also, build up a support group of people that you can talk to. Make friends in the community to talk to and get advice from. As you can see from this thread, we're usually there to support each other.

Blessed be,
Sarah

Answer 7

wow, i am so glad to see that you and other people who are giving answers were able to recognize this about themselves as teenagers.. i am 33 and just recently have identified myself as transgendered and transsexual. i am currently on a waiting list for gender therapy.. i know the road ahead is not going to be easy for you or me.

i guess the only thing i can really offer here is the "what if i don't" scenerio.. i have lived 33 years of social, romantic, and sexual confusion and discomfort.. i always knew something didn't seem quite right with me, but i didn't have the chances to go thru the normal experiences at young age.. but yah, every little experience i have had as a man that makes me feel uncomfortable is starting to make sence.. i've never been able to have sexual intercourse.. just never felt right. never really felt comfortable being "one of the guys".. felt very close to females and always tried to be their best friends instead of romantic partners.. actually freaked many girls out as they often told me i seem to have such a strong femine side and can relate to them better than any other male they know..

anyway, my confusion still exists, but it's a relief to know that i may have at least identified the key problem.

the most important thing, as others have said, and i agree, is to form a network of transgendered friends.. nobody has to go thru this alone.. and nobody should.

old family and friends may have a tough time accepting this new reality. and yes, you may lose some friends, but hoepfully your family will eventually learn to accept this.

from what i know, the gender therapist is the first place to start. you need to find a good one who will guide you through this entire process, as opposed to try to talk you out of it.

another thing, you haven't mentioned your sexual orientation, but if you identify as bisexual or lesbian, then you may need to look for an extra special therapist who cators to this market.. as some will apparently blow off bisexuals as not being transsexual, but just as "confused about their orientation"

anyway, there really seems to be some awesome people anwering on here. i hope you will reach out to them and you know, i think i will e-mail some of them too. they have been down a path that we are about to experience.. all the best and good luck, and e-mail me if you'd like to as well..

Answer 8

i am on the other side of gender reassignment
im fully transissioned and can give you my story and my opinions

the first thing i reccommend is finding a support group to talk through your issues, you may find most of your feelings are widely held and that you are more normal than you think

for me going on hrt made me feel whole. most of the transwomen i know say that they alway feel like a woman, but they dont FEEL womanhood until they go on estrogen but you dont knwo until you try

you also may find out your family is ok with it, it will take time but it they honestly want you to be happy, then they will want to accept you

Answer 9

if it is something u truley feel pasionate about then i say go for it but wait a couple years after u turn 18 make sure it is something u really want to do...GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

friend, you either transgender or you are not. Follow your heart and wish you the best of luck in life. I also wish that your family supports you in this moment of your life, where you need it the most.