what to do.... with 13 year old daughter?

Question

I am a single parent my wife died when my daughter was 10 she's 13 now i try and do my best but i work late most nights i thought i had a good girl but then one day i needed a calculator i took one out of my daughters backpack and in there was a bunch of pictures in the pictures she was on top of a bunch of guys luckily they were both cloathed they were kissing she was all over on the floor and on a couch with all different boys and in one sitting on there laps and giving another boy a hickey. I've never seen these guys before or the place where there making out at. What should i say to my daughter? Is this serious?

Answer 1

definately serious. you need to get to the bottom of this now. She's 13! You have to know where she is at all times and who she is hanging out with. The last thing you want is a 13 yr old pregnant daughter.

Answer 2

YES, this is serious! I believe everything happens for a reason. And you finding these pictures is your chance to prevent major damage your daughter WILL have if she continues on this path. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a single father and kudos to you for all you have done. It is obvious your daughter is seeking out attention/ acceptance (completely natural for 13 year old girls). However, she needs to be shown that there are more respectful ways to accomplish this. Also, and I don't mean to offend you, it sounds like she needs more boundaries set. I think as parents, especially ones that are stretched to be both father and mother, we find it easier to give our children what they want. Keep them happy, keep them quiet. However what they REALLY want, are boundaries. Even if they scream and cry. In the long run, when your daughter is 30 she will thank you for setting these boundaries and she'll know how much you loved and cared about her. The hardest things to do are usually the right ones in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes being a single parent is hard but it looks as if she's trying to find male role models with her fellow male classmates. Take her out on a father/daughter day and make it regular deal, talk to her about her day and don't just let her say "nothing happened today". Also talk to her. If need be punish her if she keeps going over to these guys' houses that you don't want her at. Remember she's only 13 not 18 yet...you have to be a parent...not a friend.

Answer 4

Well, this is a tough situation. If you tell her you found the pictures, then she will get mad at you for going threw her things... at least i would. But if you dont do somthing about it then she will only get worse. If i was in your situation, i would try to get a close bond with your daughter. Try to get a relationship where you can talk about anything with her. And try to talk to her about it. Im sure this has to do a little with the fact that her mother died, and im also sorry to hear that happened. But just gain trust with her, and let her know you will always be there. And if you find out that she is doing worse things, then take a bigger action. But dont do somthing to dirastic right now. good luck.

Answer 5

Yes I would classify that as serious. I would come to my daughter, calmly and rationally telling her I found her pictures when I was getting her calculator out of her backpack. Then have the "talk" about sex, stds, aids, pregnancy. Show her some pictures online,(of stds) then talk to her about protection. Tell her how she's too young, (she'll probably roll her eyes and say whatever but to stick to it) since she is only 13 you should become more strict. Get her a phone, call her all the time ask her where she is who she is with all that. Get more strict and stern, but also talk to her about these kinds of things. Personally, I would punish her after that though, but when she gets off punishment I would make her tell me EVERYTHING she did that day, find out who she was with and call them to make sure. Goodluck

Answer 6

You probably are not going to like this answer.

I feel this is a serious situation but I have a different take on this. Your daughter is 13. Its about that time where you realize that your daughter wants to or is having sex, and there is nothing you can do about it. I know times were different when you were growing up. It kinda feels that way for all of us. But psycologically, you had a different state of mind when you were that young, and thats why we all feel like things were different. They were different because all you cared about when you were younger was the opposite sex and what you were going to be when you got out of school. Understand that she is now in the same mind frame we all once were.

I think its great you are concerned about what she is doing. I think it is even better you are reluctant to confront her because you care about how she takes your opinion on the situation. A father should be strong but fair. Being fair is putting yourself in her shoes. Being you now also have to take the "Mom" role makes it even harder.

My opinion, confront her about her behavior with other boys. Anything where she may be acting like she is easy. Also, rap music these days are a bad influence and I would suggest a ban on that. But do not ground her from the music. Make it gradual and reward her for when she doesn't listen to it.

Though you are confronting her about her behavior and music, understand that you should not confront her about sex. It will make her rebel against you more. I'm sorry to break this to you but girls these days are having sex younger that. And well, its been going on longer than you think. Let her have sex. Its a natural feeling at her age to want to have it. But make sure you talk to her, not scold her, about the consequences. Use protection, and try to make a different way everyday to bring up to her that HE MUST PULL OUT.

Its not bad if your daughter is having sex at that age, its bad on who she is having sex with and how they are doing it. If you really look at it, its really circumstancial

If your daughter is having sex with this 14 y/o miscreant who is poor, doesn't want to work, and think he is black when he is white(no offense to anyone)... you would be flipping your lid. On the other hand, if she was having sex with a guy she was dating. And lets say the guy is 19 but has a job, has good parents, and treats your daughter with respect and love, thats not so bad is it?

And don't think you are a bad parent if your daughter is having sex. In reality, the bad parent is the parent that does not know at all. She can still be daddy's girl while you are a good parent and raise a good child. Its the morals and values you instill in her at an early age that help her make better decisions now and later. Thats my take.

Answer 7

Serious, YES. Talk to her fast. Don't talk down to her, talk to her. She's 13 and the next few years will be a rollercoaster of emotions. She needs to understand NOW that her behavior in those pictures is not appropriate. Does she have a female around her at all? Look into that.

Answer 8

the easy is answer is you do no longer, masturbating at each and every age is healthful, and absolutely everyone from 0-a hundred does it, and in the event that they say they do no longer then they are mendacity. Your daughter isnt doing something incorrect, shes relieving her sexualy turn ons, by utilising masturbating. could you fairly her relieve her urges by utilising going out and having intercourse? i'm keen to guess which you masturbate to, so fairly it makes you a extensive hypocrite for lecturing your daughter on the comparable very ingredient. the sole time she could desire to be "punished" for doing that's if she does this out in public, yet different then which you will no longer or shouldt punish her.

Answer 9

Yes, you are in trouble. Oh my God! I raised 2 girl's by myself. You have to set on them. Make sure you know where they are going, why, and for how long. Then meet the parent's of the friend's she is running with. It is usually peer pressure. Have you heard of a game they play---truth or dare? You will have to get a handle on it and I mean right now. Maybe a councilor would help. Talk to her. Make her know you are interested in what she is doing.

Answer 10

Tell her you know about all those pics in her book bag and behaving this way is only going to lead to problems, and if you work nights is someone watching her and if not she maybe having a free for all while your gone, and would definetly get adult supervision for her... and yes it could be serious ...friends and her whereabouts should be monitored more closely if not already....