what should i do?

Question

when me and my b/f started becoming sexually active he told me told me abortion was wrong and we would never be down with dat....now that i might be preg. he told me he aint ready for no child and he think abortion is worng but in this case it is okay...im so hurt....in the beginning i believed n abortion now i dont think i wanna do it...what should i do? tell him or just go along wit it.? and we only been official for 4 months but were dating two months prior

18yrs old

Answer 1

If your boyfriend is telling you now he doesn't want to be involved in the care and raising of a child, he doesn't sound like the kind of role model I would want for my child...he won't be there for you, so don't make decisions based upon what he wants...
if you have a good support network of family and friends, and you are emotionally, physically, and mentally able to support a child, and you are ready for a life time commitment, then definitely have the baby...
otherwise, you will have to get as much information about your other options as possible, and decide based upon what your heart tells you...good luck, and be strong in your decision!

Answer 2

Abortion is a thing about life that you never know what you would do unless you are actually in the situation.
Do what you feel is right. I am not saying it will be easy either way but you can not expect someone else to be accountable for this even if they should be. It will be a struggle raising a child on your own but you may also have a hard time getting over an abortion. Follow your heart no matter the path.

Answer 3

Go to a clinic and get counseling now! The decision is yours, make an informed one. Try Planned Parenthood - they will give you all options. Some faith based pregnancy crisis centers may try to steer you away from abortion. I am not advocating one way or another. This is your decision! Just get all the facts.

If you do decide to keep the baby, check with your state dept of child support. They can compel the alleged father to do a paternity test and get him for support. You need to get all the facts first, then make a decision.

Having a child is a big decision and the responsibility lasts a lifetime.

Next time, make sure you are protected - do not always rely on the guy. Also make sure he does wear a condom for those nasty diseases around.

I wish you well.

Answer 4

I know this is a confusing time for you and for your boyfriend. If you're not certain that you are pregnant yet then I know this is all new and fresh. He hasn't had time to really stop and think about what he's saying. Take a test. You can buy one at the dollar store. They have some that cost $1.00 and some that cost $3.00. Before you get into a big heated discussion find out for certain if you are pregnant. Make an appointment with a gynecologist if the test is positive. Have him go with you. If he refuses then you'll just have to gut it up and decide whether or not you want to do this on your own. If he goes with you maybe he'll find that he's changed his mind about an abortion. And if you find that you're not pregnant and that the two of you don't agree on what you would do if you were pregnant then it is time to move on. I wish you luck!

Answer 5

This answer if from my own personal experience. I was raised to believe abortion is murder as a catholic girl. When I got married at age 18 my "great" husband banned me from my family and friends and we moved all over the place never settling down. When I became pregnant with our second child (1st a boy age 4) I knew from the moment morning sickness started that I was having a baby girl...I was so excited....But my husband (10 years older than me) was leaving me. He told me to go get an abortion. I went to the doctor and had the exam!!! The doc asked (w/my legs in the stirups)are sure you can't have this baby; I felt like I was in a dream or something and I said my husband doesn't want this one....He wants to marry someone else. Well when it came time to sign the papers and give the money he called me a MURDERER. Lady, that's when a bolt of lightening came down and I walked out of that clinic as pregnant as when I walked in. He left me and I took my son by the hand and I did the best I could from that point on ALL on my own. That's not to say I didn't have any help. When I went back to the same clinic for pre-natal care I met one of the other doctors and he suggested because of my circumstances that I might consider giving the baby up for adoption. I have several months to think it over and that's what I did.
In Dec 2006 I came home from having xmas at my sister's house
and made ONE phone call after 30 yrs and found my baby girl. In Janurary I flew out to NC and spent a week with a lovely woman that just happens to be my spitting image. Please don't take the life within you..I met the people that raised my daughter confirming for me that I did the right thing for my baby. It has always been a painful memory about how this decision wasn't for me but for my baby. You see I was raised in a family that favored the "boys" over girls and I was scared to death to be her moma..I had never been employed and I didn't know what welfare was and on and on....Now my baby girl calls me every couple of days. She thanked me for giving her a good life and TWO parents. Your boyfriend wouldn't be MY boyfriend if he can jump the fence on this issue that fast. Best Wishes to you, JM

Answer 6

Hi there. This decision is YOURS. Not your mum's, nor your boyfriend's, nor anyone who responds to your question. Be practical and act in the child's and your own best interest. Make a "for and against" list. Think about your ability to provide a loving home, education and shelter for this child. Have you finished your education? Think long and hard. I had an abortion because i knew i could not provide for the child at that time of my life and my relationship was unstable. I was also totally freaked by the prospect of being an mum. I also knew i was strong enough to handle the abortion. After, it was like a weight was taken from my shoulders. It was right for me. And please don't listen to the irrational, emotional blackmail spouted by some individuals who think they have a monopoly on morality, and a hot-line to the Lord. Ultimately they don't have to live your life. So, the decision is yours.You will be responsible for the welfare of this child and you will carry it, if you so choose. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Answer 7

Don't feel bad, but I think he on;y told u he would never want an abortino to be done because he wanted to have sex with u. Now that u gave him what he wanted, he doesn't care anymore and thats way he says he's not ready for a baby. Anyways I think u shoul tell him, just to see what his reaction is. if he doesn;t want the baby, I think u should still have it. Don't have an abortion, have ur baby and make him see haow u can have a baby by ur own, and that u don't need him. He maight change when he sees the baby and maight want to be with both of ya, and maybe he would also be happy u didn;t have an abotion. I'm 16 year old and I had my abby 5 months ago 1 week after my 16 b-day. i was lucky that the father did want to have a baby. We got married when we foud out we were going to be parents and we live happyly with our baby now.

Answer 8

Ouch! How old are you sweetie...
Don't have an abortion because someone tells you too. You have to make up your own mind and decide what's best for you...follow your heart. There's always Adoption. Before you do anything talk with a professional and get and read all the info you can. There's more to an abortion that just ending the pregnancy. The emotional side can be devastating. Make sure you search every fiber of your being both physical and mentally before you act...

Answer 9

No one can answer this question for you. It's purely your own decision to make. If it were me, I'd think about if I'd want to have the baby even if the baby's father and I split up. Ya gotta look at the worst case as a possibility right? What's the worst that would happen? What's the best? If abortion still feels wrong for you, there's always adoption. There are many families out there that want to adopt. I don't know what your relationship is with your parents, but talk to someone. Even a school counselor if you're still in school. Good luck!

Answer 10

ok i know getting an abortion sucks well i have never had one but i think they suck and i no u feel it is wrong but u r 18 years old having a baby right now WILL ruin ur life!!!! i love babies and i cant wait to have some im 20 years old and im not ready to have one for years u have to put ur baby before anything else no more partying no more goin out with ur friends a night on the town u will have no money and adoption is an option but do u really wana bring a baby in this world and not be able to raise them i wouldnt i have a friend who had a baby at 19 and it ruined her life she is depressed and has no friends anymore or money and cant do anything just think about it long and hard before u make ur decision i wish u luck!!!!