Admire the rays, this canvas portrays
Of one soul and the stories it’s told
Seen through the eyes that can see through clear sight,
but the blind can see clearly, no sight without light
No doubt of a beauty that vanished, it’s lost
Within a dark vision, not a second glance
A broken heart, of misplaced romance
A portrait hung out to dry
The pain seen through its weeping eyes.
2007-02-28 11:59:26 · 5 answers · asked by dreamer 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I give you credit, this poem clearly has purpose and meaning. Profound emotions should invade the reader's soul. My only qualms may be these two minor points: drop the "can" in your fourth verse, it will drop an excessive syllable and may help the flow of your words, and do ensure that your punctuation is placed to not hinder the reader, but to guide the reader's pace. If you can master punctuation in poetry, then I believe your poetry will truly excel. I can not say where to place the punctuation because I know not of the rhythm you wish in your words.
2007-02-28 21:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by silenceheldstill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's such a beautiful poem. You have so much talent, I can't even start to explain.
I love these lines:
"Admire the rays the canvas portrays/Of one soul and the stories it's told" - I think that is just an awesome beginning.
"...But the blind can see clearly..." I love that!
"...of misplaced romance" Nice description!
"A portrait hung out to dry/The pain seen through its weeping eyes" Excellent ending.
Keep writing! Good luck! I hope you write a poetry book!
2007-02-28 20:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by xxWannabeWriterxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you are a very good poet. Advice, people have now the ability to steal your work unless you delete your question. I give it a ten!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am.qcdRIoZ0IJ2gcg0EaJnrsy6IX?qid=20070228165000AAe47Mx
2007-02-28 20:06:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, really beautiful.
I can see the portrait. I can feel it.
2007-02-28 20:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by Rabbit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a very good poem
2007-02-28 20:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by shortytolong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋