is it possible for someone who you knew for 24 plus yrs to change so completely that you dont even know who they are anymore...my ex....seems to have no guilt nor remorse for his actions he left me and his kids for some 20 yr old that he knew a few months...i try to make sense of it all and i cant.its almost been a year and he acts happy and carefree.....can he actually love this girl?...what about the lifetime we spent together the children we have....how can he just turn and walk away/ oh this girl is only 21 and he is 43
2007-02-28 11:46:27 · 10 answers · asked by never m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get over it, he's gone, buy a puppy, it will love you more than he did!!
2007-02-28 11:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is going through a midlife crisis. I am not real sure why it happen..but some men spring for a new sports car others for a 20 year old. Regardless in a couple of years the 20 year old like the car will have so many miles on it from the hard ride and the life he left behind will be so far out of reach that he will reget it all!
Do not be resent his decision..he happy that you know what he is capable of. Get out and live life to the fullest without regret!
2007-02-28 19:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What might be more possible is that you never knew him at all. He probably has no remorse, because he had to face what is very hard to face....and that is that he wasn't happy. It might have nothing to do with you, but he had to leave to find his own happiness.
Unfortunately, if you've been together for 24ish years, that means you married quite young....and if I've said it once, I've said it 100 times on here.....people should wait until they are matured to get married, because marrying young runs the risk of one or both partners maturing and growing apart.
It happened in my marriage. The man I married was in a relationship for 38 years and couldn't wait to get out....he wasn't happy with her.
I'm sorry that you're hurting. I hope it eases in time. I am sure he does feel guilt for leaving you and the children. Try not to dwell on it, although it is hard. Dwelling on it will keep your hurt and anger in the forefront, and you have to be strong for your children, and strong to get through the next few months.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-28 20:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is going through a midlife crisis. Plus he sounds like a male chauvinist pig to me. The fact that he has forgotten what you had together, is proof that he is no good for you, and your children. Don't fret over him anymore, move on to greener pastures. Find a new man, who will respect you, and love you.
I don't think it is love for this new girl, but maybe lust. I don't think it will last forever. Once she finds something better, she may leave him, and he will learn the hard way. Some girls do like older men, with experience, and money. Who cares who they run over in the process of getting one. Don't let them get to you anymore. Find love soon, you are of value, and you need to feel happy again. Or just do fun things with your kids, and let them enjoy their life with you, not dwelling on the past. This is not healthy for you or them. Your ex has rights to see the kids, but he does not have a right to hurt you all anymore. So don't let him.
2007-02-28 20:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by woman of steel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex did the same thing to me after 20 years the only time he showed any remorse (and then not to me) was when his new girlfriend dumped him several months later, after our life had been destroyed. Get yourself a lawyer and make sure you can get everything that you deserve for staying with him for 24 years.
Good Luck
2007-02-28 20:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My view is - WHO CARES? You have to take care of yourself. Forget him, make an effort to do so. Try to find other things that matter to you. Yes, we all want to understand and make sense of the wrongs that were done to us - but hanging on to the past becomes destructive and counter-productive at some point. He may be gone, but you still have your kids, your friends, probably your parents and family; and you can still meet someone new. Life is not over!
2007-02-28 19:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want someone like that anyway. He was probably just excited that a 21 year old would even look at him, let alone stay around. He is racing off cause he feels old. You don't want someone who loves you less then forever. Move on.
2007-02-28 20:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by loulou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi is a pig. And a jerk. He may be having a mid life crisis. And to feel young again he has shacked up with some young hussy. You deserve way better. I am sorry that you are going through this.
2007-02-28 19:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Kari R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him is the only way to know his true thoughts. Unless he is a habitual liar. This is the only way to know how he truly feels. My concern is how you are dealing with this situation. Best thing for you is to move on with your life. Life is too short to worry about whys, what ifs.
2007-02-28 20:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by carlshirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he may be going threw a stage that girl probally makes him feel that young again i don't know what gets in too men when thier in thier fourties that they have to leave thier wife for a girl young enough for his daughter
2007-02-28 19:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋