okay.. so yesterday i stayed after school to write a paper for english. after i finished my boyfriend was hungry and wanted to go to the resturant across form our school (just a small diner where kids from school work), so he texted my mom to tell her where we were going. we were like at the door and out of no where she calls and starts yelling at me, and told me i had to be at the high school. on our way back i was bawling and at the high school i sorta gathered myself into a little ball and just cried. my boyfriend tried to offer comfort and hold me but i wouldnt let him. i even yelled at him for it. but WHY do i retreat like that? i wanted so badly to be in his arms, but something in me told me no. not little voices or such.. more like instinct.. if that makes sense.. then when i wanted to be with him he was a good 3 1/2 ft away. and i felt even worse because i felt like i drove him away.. how can i get over the whole "must keep to myself" thing?
2007-02-28 11:44:43 · 3 answers · asked by Morgan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
my boyfriend is the best guy, and ive ran into his arms after so many ordeals.. but i can never seem to go to him when i cry.. i never go to anybody.. in 9th grade i feel apart completely when my ex got taken to juvi and i cried on my friends shoulder.. but that was different.. but i want to be able to walk up to him bawling my eyes and him hold me.. like boyfriends and girlriends do. but when im crying i hate being touched or hearing the words "everything is okay" or "its okay".. and even though i hate being touched when i cry i still want somebody to hold me. but the side of me that hates it always wins. like i have to prove to myself i am stong and i dont have to rely on another for strength.. but i rely on him for strength and he knows it. how can i get over the not wanting to be the damsel in distress and let him comfort me whenever i get upset..?
2007-02-28 12:02:38 · update #1
i do feel safe with my boy.. and he tried to sit there and hold my hand and wipe my tears but i wouldnt let him. i want so badly to break down the defense system ive built up... to SHOW him i trust him.. heck i wouldnt be with him if i didnt trust him!
2007-02-28 12:04:37 · update #2
because your one of those who feel you must do it yourself even when you know you cant. you dont feel safe being comforted. when you calm down talk to him to help him understand how you are and how important he is. the next time it happens have him sit beside you and simply hold his hand. as long as he says nothing, that will be a good start. when you start feeling comfortable with that then try him just siting there and you cry on his shoulder. gradually move on untill you feel safe with him.
2007-02-28 11:58:40 · answer #1 · answered by evil Hesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. I have to force myself to accept the affection, because I know I want it. It's REALLY hard to do, but it's more than worth it. Trust me. I know EXACTLY how you feel.
2007-02-28 19:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bonzilla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did that because you love your boyfriend and want to be with him.
2007-02-28 19:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋