Should I get a divorce?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. We have a 2 year old and a 9 month old. My husband has an anger problem and has lied to me about a couple things. We argue a lot and when we argue, he usually leaves for the night and goes out with his friends. Sometimes I feel like I want to be with him because we have 2 kids and he has a really great job. I have no career, but then I feel like maybe I am just here for those reasons and maybe I should be with someone who treats me better. Sometimes I just want a separation for a while, but then I am scared that he will find someone else. Please help!

Answer 1

Get in School honey, send him to anger management. Get ready, put some money back. Prepare, prepare, cuz it's no picnic being divorced with a pair of kids in tow. you'll suffer for you freedom, and it won't be what you think, cause he just not gonna roll over and play dead. Less you hafta kill him or something. And I'm willing to bet his anger problem is closely related to a drinking problem. Get him dried out. Sometimes drunks are too drunk to know they are misbehavian, you may need help, video tape him, and show him what it's like to be around him. Pack emergency bags, pick up and run to a safe house of some kind. He shouldn't know where. Be ready.

Answer 2

I know that it is a terrifying concept of being on your own with 2 children. The thing is, is that you have the right to be happy. My ex husband used to leave and go out for the night and not come home. After the divorce was over I found out that he was cheating on me every time he went out. The nights that he didn't come home were because he was with women.

It is unfair to put yourself and your children in this kind of unhealthy emotional and mental environment. Just because you have children with someone is no reason to stay married to them. It is better to be alone then to be with someone and be miserable. At least on your own you will have the chance to be truly happy. You can absolutely find someone who treats you better. I did! I'm living proof! He also accepts my child as his own. Let your husband find someone else! He can treat her like crap then and not you! THat's exactly what my ex did and I thank God every day that I am no longer in her shoes. You can do it! Stand up for yourself. Only you can make yourself happy. You have a responsibility to yourself and now especially to your children.

Answer 3

Seek marriage counseling or just talk to him more and more about how you feel everynight.
Try not to argue, try to comprimise.

It's going to be very hard to find someone who will be willing to be with you with two very small children and pay for them and love them. Not that you are not worth it or a great person, you very well may be, but I am sure many men would be hesitant about being with a person in your situation.

Make sure you put the kids to bed early enough so that you two can spend quality time together. Have a few amrtinis, watch a movie, make love, etc, whatever it takes to save the marriage.

Ask him what he wants?

Answer 4

You should keep in mind that you have children and that you are the biggest role model to them. Yes, they are young but do you want them to think that it is right for any man to do this? How would you feel is someone treated your daughter like this? If they think it is fine for mom to be treated like this why should they expect anything better out of life? Oh course think of yourself! Do not let anyone tell you that you are selfish for wanting more out of life then what you have now. You have a man that does not respect you as a wife or the mother of his children. He does not respect the commitment of marriage; otherwise he would be home with you and not out with his friends. If you want to work this out then I would suggest counseling soon. I wish you the best!

Answer 5

the best thing i can tell you is follow your heart.. You should not stay somewhere you are mot happy.. If he is treating you bad leave him, if he finds someone else then you now know that it was not meant to be. Right now you have to think of your children, if you are not happy they are not going to be.. No man should ever come between you and your children happiness. I am sure you can type. You typed this question.. You can find you a desk job to make ends meet if you needed to. No man can control your future unless you let them.. You need to take control of your own destiny.

Answer 6

so let him go find someone else and pay support and maintance to you. let someone else be treated like that. you deserve better then that and don't need the mental abuse from him when he gets angry and yell or spends the night out and you lay awake at night wondering where he is and what he is doing and who he might be with. he has lied to you and honestly a lady can do better.

Answer 7

I think that you should try to change your way when you discuss anything with him, make your way attract him more than his friends, don't be tough,try to be more friendly, choose the good time to talk.
Sure you're right to think about your children but his great job it's not a reason cause you must be together in good & bad conditions, Marriage is a very strong relation & God with you..:)

Answer 8

Staying with him for the kids and for his job is no reason to stay.

I hope you two will try marriage counseling to help the both of you communicate better and mend things.

Answer 9

Yes you should get a divorce. You never should have married in the first place. It never works. What were you thinking? In fact, what are you thinking now? You don't need him in your life. Apparently, he's not there for you anyway. Woman up and get yourself together so that you can be a great mom to your kids. You don't need that loser for anything other than child support.

Answer 10

hmm, is counseling out of the picture, for both of you. if you really want to work on the relationship, try that.

he can find someone else with you right there. if he's willing to work on the relationship, try it. if not, later.