why the hell are people so judgemental?

Question

why the hell are people so judgemental on young mothers this topic really really annoys me i have just turned 18 in feb and am 3 months and 1 week pregnant i have been with the father for 2 years and 3 months. were renting a house together and he has a job that pays well. people look down on us because they think we were just stupid and didnt use protection.... well for your information mine and probably 100 others out there were planned ... just because we didnt want to go to uni and get a degree in science or what ever we chose our job as raising children. we may not have very much life knowledge or havnt been out in the world for as long but that does not me that when this child comes along we will love it any different to what a 28 year old would. there are some mothers and fathers out there that are 30 and still can look after there kids. you make do with what you have u go to provide the best life you can for the child. give us all a break YOUNG MOTHERS ARE JUST AS CAPABLE AS U.

and who is to say that if i had a well paying job when i was a bit older that the money situation is not just gonna fall out from under ur feet ... and so what i dnt like to use punctuation i dont care i no when and were to use it i just dont. what makes u think that just because ur an adult u can raise a child no body bloody knows how to raise a child until they have one them selves the most knowledgable person is still going to make mistakes parenting is about finding out what works for u and what works for the baby my goals and my dreams were to raise a baby and start my own family. just because i didnt wait 5 years has no bearing on the love im gonna give the child. ill love the child the same as i would if i had the child 5 years down the track u people annoy me

and for ur information heather i will support my child 100% in what ever he or she wants to do wether it be go on to be a nurse or raise children and for ur information ur god damn tax money aint payin for nothing

Answer 1

I whole heartedly agree with you. People are just idiots and love judging everyone else so they dont have to look at themselves.
I had my first not long after I turned 19 and got the same thing. But I was quite happy as our daughter was planned and we had already lost a baby. I was mature enough to raise her. Now she is a beautiful intelligent child. Because I had the time and patience to play and teach her and care and love her while she was a baby. And wasnt worried about losing my career as she was and is my career. I now have two daughters and am 25, next year my youngest goes to school and I will be able to do all the things everyone expected me to do before I had my kids. But the key is I already have my kids but am still young enough to go out there and study and get a job and build a career, whilst also caring for my children.

Answer 2

I had my son just before i turned 19, my mother had me at 17, i have had 2 cousins have kids at 16. In each of the cases except one, the sperm donor didn't have anything to do with the child. I know this isn't your case as you have mentioned it. I did however find a guy when i was only 2 months along that i will celebrate our 11th anniversary with this summer. It isn't always the case and not everyone can be as lucky to make it through life without major hardships.

Where the judgmental-ness comes from is that its more often than not, that a young parent ends up on welfare, or on drugs, prostitution, child goes in foster care, the whole 9 yards. It happens way to much. Everyone who is a taxpayer pays a portion to support these families. Do you have health insurance? With you and the father of the child? And no, not insurance through your parents. Is that ins. through his or your job or from the government?

Now, i'm not being judgmental to you, i'm just pointing out things that are very common and a huge reason why there is that attitude from people. I'm also not saying that you two aren't ready or that your not prepared. You may be super successful at it and have a wonderful life. So, with that said, i hope you do, and if you are serious about your responsibilities (not just with the child but to each other) than you shouldn't worry about what other people think.

Answer 3

It is not that we don't think young mothers aren't capable, but many people think that 18 is too young. A high school graduate can't make the same amount of money as someone with even technical training. It is a hard life to raise a child at any age. And with a child you have to put your dreams on hold or give up on your dreams. It is possible to achieve what you want in life with a child, but it is much more difficult.
I wish you the best.

Answer 4

I am very proud of you for being able to make an adult decision. And I also had a baby at 19. I am now 26 and have 3 children ages 6,4,and 2. With twins on the way. There are mothers out there that are in their 30's and still cant provide for their child or take care of it properly. Good For You. Every woman is capable of doing what is best for their child whether they are 18 or 38 its just a matter of being motivated and responsible. You sound like the type of woman who is going to make a GREAT mother and if anyone tells you differently tell them to go **** themsleves.

Answer 5

I agree 1 million% with you sista'! I'm 27 with my 5th child on the way and me and my husband manage very well. We live in a better house and neighborhood than my oldest sister (35) who has one child (2yrs. old). I had my first child at 18; second child at 20; third child at 22; and my fourth child at 24...My fifth will be born while I'm 27. I don't regret any of my pregnancies because I have the energy to travel and keep up with my kids and their activities. We live in a brick 3 bed room; 2 bath house with a 2 car garage and we don't want for anything. So don't let anyone intimidate you about being young parents. Just prove to them by actions of how good of a couple and parents you'll be. Good Luck and Congrats!

Answer 6

don't worry about what others think of you. they don't know you or your situation. just keep your head up and don't let anyone bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself. i was 18 when i got married and 19 when my first daughter was born. i am now 24 still married to the same man and we have our third child on the way. we were told by many people that we were too young and that we didn't know what we were doing. my husband has a very good job and i don't have to work because of it so i get to raise my children. we own our own house and two good vehicles. my husband will soon be starting up his own business too. we also are both working on our college degrees right now. his is in landscape design and mine is in early childhood development. i do plan on going to work once my children are all in school. no one was able to bring us down and we set goals, worked hard and accomplished them. don't get me wrong it was hard but when things are too easy in life what do you learn? i wish you and your family the best.

Answer 7

I'm 29. I had my first child at 18, second at 22, third at 28.
I'm still getting 'oohh you are sooo young" speech from people. I have learned to ignore it. Those same people also tell me how well behaved my children are and smart!! Being younger parents, i think, you just have more fun!! I'm not saying older people don't but the endurance levels are quite different. I also understand and relate to them easier.

Bottom line, don't worry what they think.
Find a good mommy group with young mothers and you will have wonderful support!!

Good luck

Answer 8

You certainly aren't capable of constructing a readable English sentence. However, this doesn't say anything about your parenting skills, agreed.

Congratulations on bringing a wanted child into this world. If people ask you if the child was a mistake, feel perfectly justified to respond, "No, but the question certainly was."

Answer 9

Amen I am 20 and 3 months pregnant and getting married in may and my soon to b husband has a great job that has great benifits and I beleive no matter how old you are you will never b fully ready to have a child. O and were fixing to buy our first house!

Answer 10

I think your child is lucky and loved. And to the ones who don't understand why you wanted a child at an early age, let them have their careers, and their nannys raise their kids. People don't need money to raise a child but you do need love and I pray yours is the everlasting kind. Just smile and say We have love what do you have.