Stag party dissaproval?

Question

My hubby to be, wants to go to belgium for 4 days for his stag do. Under normal circumstances I'd be happy, but it means him leaving me with our 2yr and 1 yr old babies alone and I simply cant cope for that long. We had a massive fight over it, he said I was controlling, and said the wedding was off (after I had already suggested it!). I sobbed my heart out for hours, he ignored me, which made me cry harder as now I felt unloved and neglected, and finally he said shut up...which made me devastated, and I cried even harder.
I dont want to stop him having fun, but we have very little money, we havn't paid for the church or the funiture or his lager pump he wants for the recption..and now he wants to go abroad.
I suggested he stayed in the country, or he go for three days instead to save the money and help me out with our children, but he wants what he wants as its a one off. He's blind to this stag party. Whose in the wrong?.

Answer 1

he has his life, you have yours.

he has things to do, so do you.

Answer 2

He definately is. He's not understanding you, and your needs. A wedding is about the two of you, and I don't understand why he's compromising the part of the wedding that involves both of you by using up all the money on himself and leaving you alone.

He's being selfish and inconsiderate and not even trying to console you.

Sounds like the wedding IS off - and perhaps good riddance. A man who has so little concern for the way you feel should just go have a perpetual stag party if that's what he wants.

Answer 3

You know what? I suspect he doesn't actually want to marry you at all. The main things - church and reception - are not paid for and at the drop of a hat he tells you the wedding is off? Reading this made me so angry for you and for your babies. To all intents and purposes the guy is already married to you as you have a family together and he has no right to go abroad for 4 days on what is obviously not going to be a trip round the museums. he is showing no respoect for you and, incidentally, if a man told me to shut up when I was upset, i would have ended it right there and then.

Save yourself the trouble of a divorce later - leave him and start living a better life for yourself and the children.

Answer 4

Obviously you should dump the jerk. However, since you were so STUPID as to have sex and kids with the abusive, selfish creep you are between a rock and a hard place.

You need to postpone this wedding. See if you really want to spend the rest of your life with that jerk. What about the kids? Are they better off with an unhappy marriage or a part time father? You made your bed, and it is pretty sad looking. Try to do what is best for your kids. But really, at a minimum postpone the wedding. You just cannot marry under these obscene conditions.
.

Answer 5

That's ridiculous! He sounds very selfish, immature and irresponsible. I can understand him perhaps wanting to get away for a few days with some of his buddies just to blow off the steam before the wedding, then perhaps taking the kids so you could spend a few days somewhere with your girlfriends. That would be one thing. But an overseas trip when he has 2 kids at home and bills yet to pay is a little over the top. He obviously has no respect for how you feel. Maybe this would be a good time to reevaluate your relationship and decide whether you truly want to be tied permantly to someone who hasn't yet learned to become a responsible adult.

Answer 6

You do no why he wants to go so far away don't you or are you one of them women that will believe everything her man tells her.Why do you think he got so mad at you when you ask him not to go he already has a girl picked out he is going to sleep with.He is going to have so much sex he won't want it from you for over a week.That will be another way of knowing if he f u c k around on you.when he gets back from his sex party lets call it what it really is you no it and so does everyone else.If he doesn't touch you when he gets back home then you no what he has done to you the rest will be up to you.

Answer 7

He is wrong..it seems to me he cares more about a stupid stag party than your wellbeing...i would act the same...its only supposed to be a one night thing..where does he get the idea that its a four day adventure. put your foot down, and if he wants to call off the wedding because of that the he is really not worth it...!

Answer 8

if i were you i would rethink this marriage and wait a little longer until you both have more money......then you can arrange a hen night for you and your girls, and he can arrange his stag night with his lads....that way you are both getting that last night of freedom (so t speak) but insist that he rethinks his plan, tell him it's just not on, ask him to save up first then have his stag night, i mean if he cannot afford it, hows he gonna cope for 4 days without money, unless he's gonna sponge from his mates throughout them 4 days.....but like i said, i would rethink the marriage till your cash flow problem is sorted

Answer 9

He sounds very selfish and uncaring. And not got his priorites right if you haven't paid for the chuch, furniture and his beloved lager pump! Why don't you do the same for your hen weekend? And use the same reasons he did. Could he cope with the babies on his own for 4 days! See what he says then! Good luck :o) Let us know how you get on. x

Answer 10

He's wrong.

1) You got kids. Young kids. Way out of line to leave you for 4 days.

2) He doesn't have the money to afford it.

He's only thinking about himself. What he wants. No compromise.

4 days stag party? Absolutely not necessary.

A~

Answer 11

He is wrong. Whether you are married or not he has two young children to think about and they should come first. Why does he want four days away from his children. He should grow up and to be honest I would think twice about marrying a man who wanted to be awayfrom his children for so long and I am a man you may be surprised to hear!