My 3 wk old daughter won't let me put her down when she's awake. How do I break this? She SCREAMS when I put her down, whether it is in her seat, swing or laying on the floor. She wants to be held all day. I don't mind most of the time but I know it's going to end up being bad when she gets older. How do I get her to sit on her own while she's awake?
2007-02-28 10:29:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
A baby is not capable of being spoiled until they are 6 months old. She just needs your attention, and to feel safe knowing that she is there. once she is 6 months if it is still a problem then you can try a variety of things. good luck, and congrats on your lil bundle of Joy!
Up above someone speaks of leaving her for 5 mins crying then increasing the time. this is known as the Ferber Method. And in his books and online you can see that he strongly recommends waiting until your baby is at least 6 months, and sleeps through the night. Just an FYI! GOOD LUCK
2007-02-28 10:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by cbrandi199 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God she is only 3 weeks old. Hold the poor baby.
She has just gone through birth which is very traumatic for the babies as well as the mothers. And now she is in this huge space and feels lost and alone and scared. Of course she needs to be held for reassurance and comfort.
And holding infants does not make it bad when they get older. It makes them more independant and loved and reassured that someone is there for them.
Babies need lots of physical contact, to be held and loved and cooed over. If they dont they can actually die or stop growing.
I rarely put my daughters down in there first year of life. And they were not spoiled, you can not spoil a child with love.
They are very independant and had no seperation anxiety as they knew I loved them and was always there for them. I was the one with the anxiety.
You will learn to do things with one hand or put her in a baby pouch or sling. That way she is comforted by your smell, heartbeat and presence while youare still able to move around and do the things you need to do.
Please remember she is only 3 weeks old and shouldnt be left to sit on her own at that age.
2007-02-28 10:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with what everyone on here so far has said about letting her cry it out...if you want, you can go to my questions and see where I asked the same thing about a 6 week old last week...the answers were DRASTICALLY different and everyone says to hold her and NOT to let her cry it out yet...I understand that you (and I:)) need a break and it is okay to let her cry for a bit...but as far as spoiling her goes, I have decided to just carry her a lot. The books all say the same thing...supposedly, a baby who is carried more will be LESS dependant later on. According to the What to Expect books...
Either way, good luck. And sorry...my daughter DOES seem to like being naked on the floor. I let her "air dry" after a diaper change and I can throw in some laundry and do the dishes then...that is about the only time she is content on her own...when she has a naked butt:)
***By the time I posted this there were more, better answers...sorry about what I said about disagreeing with everyone...I wonder if the Ferber advice was the same person who replied to me? :) *** I guess I just disagreed with the one person who said to let her cry it out...
2007-02-28 10:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by Erika H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason that she can't lay down? Does she have an ear infection, do you smoke? First talk to a medical person to find out if she has a reason to not want to be put down, then if she's OK you can work on ways to comfort her-rub her head,legs, feet etc while she's down and can calm down. Also, singing - music that is only instrumental can help. A baby chair that will hold her and vibrate can be used too. Lay her in your lap and swing legs, jiggle legs etc. This will get her used to being down. Good luck and you'll be OK.
2007-02-28 10:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it is- my 10 week old was JUST like that, and still is at times. Play with her on the floor, in bouncy seat, etc. That way she knows your there. Try a sling or snugli carrier- my guy has learned to love them both and I can get things done. Otherwise let her cry for 5 min or only put her down when fast asleep. She will become more independant as she grows.
2007-02-28 10:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by lovebeingamom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, you can't spoil a 3 week old. They are creatures of comfort and unable to manipulate until at least 6 months of age. So hold her, it's what she needs. Try laying her down next to you, sooth her by touch and maybe even sing to her. Babies don't like to be lonely. Get a nice mobile to hang over her and maybe that will help. As she gets older she will need you less and less so enjoy this stage, she'll outgrow it soon.
2007-02-28 10:43:36 · answer #6 · answered by Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am absolutely appalled that anyone here would suggest the mother should "let her cry" to "teach her to entertain herself" or that you could "spoil" her by holding. Bollocks!
The dadgum baby is only 3 weeks old! They're supposed to be held, nurtured, and comforted pretty much constantly. It's downright necessary for proper development.
If you need to have your hands free more often, I highly recommend a cloth baby sling. You can use them for the tiniest of newborns, and it holds the baby securely near mama, which they need and love, while mama can have some freedom of movement.
2007-02-28 10:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by woo_jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as spoiling a newborn by holding her. For now that's her way of being comforted. Try things that make "white noise" such as running tub water, or have something that smells like lavender, or play classical music. Just keep trying and eventually this will pass.
2007-02-28 10:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about that yet, she's still too young. It sounds like she may have a slight case of colic. If you don't already have one,get a snugli or a baby bjorn and carry her with you.. that way, she;s happy and content and you have your arms free. When she gets to be about 6 months old and there's no change, start weaning her from constant contact little by little.She's still too young yet to understand how to soothe and entertain herself. Good Luck and Congrats!!!
2007-02-28 10:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
someone said that a baby can't be spoiled until 6 months. thats ridiculous if u hold her every waking moment until shes 6 months old imagine how your life is going to be. put her down when you're sure that all of her needs have been met, and try to stay calm when she crys shes just not use to being held, it shouldn't take long for her to get use to sitting on her own, but it takes consistency
2007-02-28 11:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋