I have a boyfriend of 10 years and he lives with mommy. He has lived with her all of his life. his dad died when he was 19 and before he died he told him to take care of everything after he died. so now he has felt it to be his obligation to take care of mommy by living with her. 15 years later his mom has never remarried they have their names on each others checks and bills come to them like they are married. Its sick i know and there is probably nothing or anything anyone can say or do to make him grow up and move out and be a man. but if there is i wish i knew. mommy is also very much healthy works a full time job and is very active. Please help....... Anybody!
2007-02-28 10:05:11 · 20 answers · asked by Kris C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hate to tell you, but you need to boogie-on, my sister, to the left, to the left ....He is a lost cause.
2007-02-28 10:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mirch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's going to be up to him, ultimately, to change.
But he might need some ideas that what is going on isn't exactly normal.
Do you guys go away at all together on trips? It's at those times that you say 'isn't it nice, just the two of us' and ask him if he ever misses his independence etc.
Do you want to marry this guy? Does he want to marry you? If so, make sure he knows what has to happen if he wants that.
It's a difficult situation because he might not realise that he's not functioning at the level of an emotionally stable, independent man. He thinks he's taking care of his mother after promising his father that he'd do that. You know...he might even need some counselling because he'll essentially view his moving on as 'abandonment' of his mother and as a 'broken promise' to his dead father. He might need professional help dealing with the fact that he can still care for his mother without being beside her all the time and living with her.
2007-02-28 10:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is it that whenever a woman gets a boyfriend she is always intent on changing him, never being able to accept him as he is? But would she want some man doing the same thing to them, acting like she was some sort of fixer upper?
If there is something about your boyfriend that you consider needing to be changed in order for him to be the person you want, especially if it involves a drastic change, then do him and yourself a favour and break up with him. He isn't the man you want if you feel the need for him to change that much.
2007-02-28 10:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u r in a hard spot in love with a guy who is a moma's boy. if u haven't been able to change him in 10 yrs than most likely ur not so the best thing to do is give him a ultimatum and if he choose u set ground rules like for one move out and get his own place or one with u tell him its ok to be there for his mom or help her around the house but not but not spend every moment together he is grown now and needs to realize that if he chooses his mom and most likely he will than u need to move on with ur life and find someone who spends Little less time with mom my advise find someone who's mom lives hundreds of miles away
2007-02-28 10:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by mandy d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend of 6 years is a super, huge mommas boy. She is 88 years previous, and to work out the way he seems after her, opens the door and loves her. they are asserting and that i for one have faith its genuine. you are able to tell how a guy will teat you, by potential of how he treats him mom, so I say be grateful which you have a guy that love you that lots.
2016-10-16 23:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i doubt he feels obligated to do anything for his mom..in a way i am pretty sure she is taking care of him. and WOW 10 years you have been with someone that refuses to cut the apron strings..i mean.....COME ON..It sounds like a failure to launch thing. tell him to cut the cord and start taking care of himself already...BUT there is nothing wrong with a mommas boy to a POINT. He obviously doesn't want to leave or he would have left already...Good luck with that sister
2007-02-28 10:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dont tear them away tell him that he needs to grow up . He can still care for him mom but he needs to move out and live a little. b a man!
2007-02-28 10:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by lexi b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't, it's up to him whether or not he wants a relationship with you and spend less time with his mother. You can stay in the relationship if your needs are fulfilled and see what comes of it, but it may never change. Try talking to him about it.
2007-02-28 10:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
RUN RUN VERY FAST!!!!!!! I WISH I WOULD OF 16 YRS AGO..... THE BEST THING IS TO ASK HIM AND SEE WHAT HE SAYS IF HE SAYS ITS ALL ABOUT MOMMY, SAY TO HIM GOODBYE BECAUSE HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HER!!!!! IM LIVING IT NOW AS I TYPE THIS, LIFE IS MISERABLE... BUT DONT HAVE THE FUNDS TO LEAVE..
2007-02-28 11:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by krista a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was married to a mama's boy their worse if you marry some one who is tied to thier mother's apron string's it causes problems in marriges mother in law troubles so if you marry him he'll always will put her first no matter what you say and if you get in to spats she'll get in middle and take his side i been threw it
2007-02-28 10:14:47 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋