I hate being alone but I can't help it. Any advice?

Question

Over the years I've had alot of trouble with being 'used' by my friends, being unappreciated by them and being isolated by them, also problems at home between members of my family which brought us to breaking point, none of which I blamed myself for however I did shut myself off from people and began spending alot of time by myself, which I loved. Now after five years I'm starting to hate it. I hate being by myself and I want friends but after spending some much time alone it's really hard. I don't know how to express my feelings for other people, I find myself pushing them away and even feeling uncomfortable with physical contact. I hate being alone but in contrast I hate being near other people. I don't know what I should do. Can anyone help?

Answer 1

People always have problem in relationship as they expect it to be reciprocal. When they are nice to others, they expect others to treat them the same as well. Remember, we only can control our own feeling, but not others. Thus, how you feel or treat others, don't expect them to "return favour".

Answer 2

hi I'm sorry about what you are going through,it happened too me, first, I would like say that you had trouble with being used and feeling unappreciated also,isolated by family and friends because these are the people we care about the most .and when the feelings aren't reciporcated it mentally breaks you down, in some cases, family will be the ones that hurt you the most. but if you was good with being by yourself for five years and now it's a problem ,then you was never okay with being by yourself ,that's because time by yourself you never really learned too love yourself because if you did you would not mind being by yourself sometimes we may feel lonely at times but, it shouldn't get to the point that you hate it that means you need other people too complete you ,when you love yourself and know who you are that's what complete you friends and others complete you too have a good life . as far as you pushing away people ,that comes from you trusting people only for them too let you down , it's going too take time but it's do able. you would learn too trust people again just be more careful who you pick as friends and take life one day at a time .stop being scared and give people a chance you might meet a friend who would really cherish you as friend should.if you need someone too talk too you can e-mail at [e-mail], hope everything works out for you . good luck and god bless you! P.S. remember to pray on it praying helps.

Answer 3

I feel for you 100%. I feel as though I wrote this myself... being around people is hard. They're hard to trust. I have passed up several chances at relationships and lost a lot of friends over the past few years because I can't see to let people get close to me. The only ones who are still around are the ones who refuse to give up on me... the problem with those people is that they come few and far between. Its not easy to find understanding, caring, patient people... which is what you need. I have been lucky enough to encounter a select few in my everyday life... a couple in high school and one at my last job. These are people who will put up with anything from me... from pushing them away, to abusing the friendship past when anyone should ever have to take, to putting up with my self-destrictive tendencies. I wish I could think of places to tell you to look for these people but I don't know that there is one specific place... I think you just have to know what to look for in people.

Answer 4

maybe u should try doing volunteering work, helping the less fortunate and making your life more meaningful, having a chance to see how bad others situation might made u feel that u are very fortunate, and making them happy will also bring joy to yourself and possibly made some good friends along the way.