A few weeks ago I had to testify against my sister who is a Meth addict for breaking into my house and beating me up. After the hearing, the reduced her bail to $5,000.00 and her dealer bailed her out. After she got out, she , of course, went right back to using and drinking. A few days ago her dealer kicked her out of his car on the highway and she hitchhiked to my dad who finally convinced her to get into rehab again.........Here is my question. The state attourney called me this morning and asked me if I wanted to drop the charges because she was in rehab or if I agreed with the proposal of 3 years in prison with all but 90 days suspended. I want to believe that she will get better, but she is 38 and has 2 kids the family had taken away, and she has been like this for more than 20 years. Should I drop the charges and hope she gets better?
2007-02-28 09:25:53 · 16 answers · asked by mi4ree 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can drop the charges and "hope" she gets better, but let me tell you, I've never, EVER heard that "hope" was an effective tool when getting off drugs or alcohol....
Your sister needs HELP....and she can find that in prision or rehab. Ask the state attorney if instead of prision (cause lets face it, prision isn't the place to go to get clean) ask if a state hospital or other such mandatory treatment facility is an option.
Hope she gets clean, for her sake, and the sake of her children.
2007-02-28 10:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not drop the charges. I know from personal experience that rehab cannot be used as a bargaining chip by an addict. The ONLY way treatment will work is when the individual is there to get clean, not to worm their way out of the mess their addiction got them into. If she is at all serious about getting her life back (obviously losing her children was not motivation enough) she will attend 12 step meetings while in prison then find a treatment facility to continue with. Serving ninety days will give her the time to detox, and hopefully realize how unmanageable her life has become. Best of luck to you and your family!
2007-02-28 17:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by pollywog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not an easy decision. I know this has to be soo hard on you. She is your sister and I am sure that you love her. My advice would be to make her serve time for what she's done. Jail maybe her wake up call to the realization that she indeed has a problem. You dropping the charges is only gonna make her think that she can keep doing it to you or to someone else. She's not gonna learn a lesson in responsibility or consequences if you let her get away with breaking the law. Rehab will be waiting for her once she's ready to admit that she's got a problem. That door will always be open to her, but what about learning her lessons in breaking and entering and assault... Will she learn anything if you say it's ok by dropping the charges. It's something to think about. I wish you the best of luck !!
2007-02-28 17:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has got to be the toughest decision you have to make. No one can tell you what you need to do, you should already know the answer. Everyone wants what's best for their sibling, but if you feel you should give her another chance, then do so, but than again, will the rehab really help her? Remember, nothing or anyone can help anyone without them wanting to help themselves. So, if she's not ready to let go of her habits, then it's no use. To me, it sounds like, she's not ready to give up. She's already lost her family and kids, and that is still not an eye opener, I really don't think anything is at this point. I hate to say this, but no one can help you with this one. Just sit back and think, what's gonna be the best situation for her? what's she's been through? Can she really kick the habits? Is it a cry for help? whatever the case maybe, it's all about her and her future. You could be the part that helps her through it or the one that puts her away. Tough choice I know. keep us posted.
2007-02-28 17:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by qasizan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard position - especially if you're feeling pressure to do one or the other. The bottom line is you need to do what you feel is best for your sister. 90 days in jail is short in comparison to the 3 years. Besides, if she doesn't get past this and learn now, (whether it's in jail or rehab), then she'll be spending more than 90 days in there. You love your sister and this isn't an easy decision - just do what you feel is best. None of us know your sister - only you can answer this one.
2007-02-28 17:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rehab will only help your sister if she wants to make the change in her life she can go back to her old habits once she's out of rehab. if she has been like this for 20 years may be its time she realizes the consequences of her behavior by being in jail. the children are better off with her being in jail rather than her being high on drugs. Iam sorry that you have to go thru all this hope you find some peace soon.
2007-02-28 17:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by gaganjai 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say drop the charges as prison will only make things worse. At the moment she's got just one addiction, in prison it can multiply. But don't forget about her. Keep a look out and give her emotional support if nothing else. After all she's your sister.
2007-02-28 17:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by coolmarine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think that if she spends the 3 years in jail would be better for her. She can clean her act up being in there for so long. My auntie is the same way. But she hasn't gotten in trouble or hasn't stolen from us. I would testify against her in a heart beat cause it's wrong...Family or no family.
I wouldn't drop the charges i would hope that can do the time for the crime.
2007-02-28 17:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Miss Self-Sufficient 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. You would be enabling your sister to do harm to herself and your family again. You must feel terrible being on the spot like this. That's what happens when drugs wreck a person's life. Their addiction costs them their family and friends. Don't turn your back on her. She needs help and may always need it. But don't enable her to kill herself with Meth either. I am so sorry life has placed you in this position. Good Luck.
2007-02-28 17:33:56 · answer #9 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would not drop the charges. She may be your sister but she is clearly no longer family to you. Sometimes you have to give up the ghost.
2007-02-28 17:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋