i asked this before" how can i be less sensitive and not to over react?

Question

i am still confused about the answers , i find Trisha A answer ond others r good but still confused becuse some say its a good or bad answer again what should i do? ( this is what i posted last time )
"(lately,i feel that i am over reacting in everything, i get this feeling a bad one, i evan think about other ppls opinions so much, the color that i love is red, but when some of my friends told me they dont like it, i started to hate it , and hate myself too, i love the sky ,nature , but when i heard something about some group of ppl ( i cant list them )i started to hate it too ,and i ask my self why am i feeling this way, i am being so sensitive and i always over react , i dont know how did this happened to me , how can i reduce it? or not caring about ppls thoughts and opinions? ")

Answer 1

Yep, you need a good therapist.

You've actually made a really good step in recognizing that you have a problem. A therapist can help you sort out the confusion and help you feel happy with who you are. Please pursue this course. Life's too good to hate it so much.

Answer 2

Ask yourself this question. Does other peoples opinions matter so much to me. When someone says to you they hate something you like ask them why,and make sure they can give you a sound logical answer, if they can't back up their theory to why the hate this ,who will look the fool, you or them. You know why you like the colour red. It may be it holds some happy memory or event in our live. Why do you love nature, the sky is because you love life and all that surrounds you. No one hates them self, sure you may be insecure,lonely or sometimes tired with life.The next time you get the chance to view a clear starry night, look into the deep beauty of the stars go as far as your sight will allow and realise that you are a part of this creation, you may be only a tiny spec in such vastness, but you are part of it and your being is as important as the sun.Good luck with the future.

Answer 3

Sit down in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself. Just sit there, staring at yourself. Think about all the things you do that you are proud of. Maybe you have a hobby and your are creative and are proud of what you just made or fixed or done, find as many positive things you can find. You may keep your house clean, take pride. Pat yourself on the back, you did good. You know what your have accomplished and you know what to do good at. You are a viable person with independent thought.

You are unique and there is no one like you. All by yourself you are unique. You are special. Feed yourself with positive thought and push negative away. Find all the good positive things that make you you. Can you see how different you are from everybody else? Good. You are no better or any worse than anyone else. Nor are they any better or any worse than you are. You have indepentant thought and do have to conform to anyone elses ideas as to who you should be. You control that.

You are a blossom all by yourself, a big bright yellow one. So you may have a purple streak on one of your peddles, but this is how you can be identified. You are not a look a like for any other blossom out there. Your purple streak is beautiful. You are so pretty and why would you want to blend in with the masses?

So easy to say and very simply done, self anaylis is a good tool to search within your self. I know you saw a bunch of stuff you didn't want to see about yourself and may have never knew that it was there. BUT, your are looking for the good things, right?

If you want to wear purple nail polish and others don't like it, it's OK. They have a right to their opinion but you have the right to be you too. Right? If they pick and tease, surprise them and joke with them. Say something like, "It was either this purple or a stupid pink and I liked this better." Ha ha ha ha so be it. Don't let them push your buttons.

Chin UP chest OUT full speed a head.

Answer 4

You are lacking in confidence and worry too much about what others think and say and do.

You have to learn how to reframe the way you look at the world and what the world says or thinks.

Take the example of liking the colour red, why change your opinion because your friends don't like that colour. You are as entitled to your opinion as they are to their's. It's not good to be so wishy washy and be so much of a follower.

Learn that you and your opinions are indeed worthy and that you don't HAVE to be in total agreement with everyone on everything.

You have to learn to like and accept you. Happiness doesn't come from the outside in things or people, it comes from inside and feeling good about yourself and who you are.

Answer 5

It seems that you are not sensitive, but afraid to be you. You adapt other peoples opinions as if their's is better than yours. Also maybe you think they will accept you better if you agree with them. When it comes to opinion then each person can as usually does have a different idea than you. Thats okay...if we all thought the same then there would be no one to stand out...like Martin Luther King, Helen Keller, Gandhi... just to name a few...if you allow yourself to be just you and keep your own opinions until you discover by education another way of thinking, then is when you might keep, throw out or synergize your opinion and your new found knowledge...then you will start to store wisdom.

Answer 6

sounds like people have given you some good advice already. going to a therapist of some kind would probably help you a lot to grow in confidence and sort out what is really important to YOU :) there's no shame in it - think of it like this... if your car wasn't working, you'd take it to a garage and let a mechanic have a look at it, or if your central heating packed in, you'd call that expert in for help and advice. just the same. it's actually a really mature and sensible way of starting to take control of your life.

one practical thing that worked for me was to imagine myself inside a big glass bell jar. when people say something, or give an opinion about you (positive or negative) imagine that it stops just outside the bell jar. then you can take a look at it, decide what you think, and either let it inside the bell jar, or not, depending on whether you think it is valid or not.
practicing this helps to separate off your immediate emotional reactions to something from what you *really* think.

Answer 7

:) Nice to know you liked my answer...to elaborate a little bit on it.

When I was in high school, I got teased A LOT...but in the same note I was one of the only people that could walk up to any click and talk to any person in it...and not be scorned for it.

Let me use an analogy...

You are like a chameleon... you are impressionable, what you are doing is trying to "blend your colour" with whatever is around you. It is like a safety net...if you are the same as them, they can't not like you.

Right now...you are trying to be like everyone...so you are like a chameleon on plaid...your system is about to give out because you don't know what colour you want to be...and you know you cant be all of them...but the lizard will turn to its original color...green...(and sometimes it causes them to parish...we dont want that for you...so hang in there)

Anyway, you need to find your default color...and stay that color...it is ok to blend in sometimes...but you need to know where you end and where they begin.

over all you just need to think for yourself and dont worry about what every one else thinks...dont let it absorb you...it might take a while to find your self but that is what you need to do.

[e-mail] if you wanna talk more about it you can email me or put me on your IM.

My Hubby says :
You only live once ... and you need to live your life for yourself, because if you live it for everyone else ... then it is not worth living.

Answer 8

You need to look for a self improvement club in your area. If you can find one, do your best to join it. Many of these people will have similar problems and it is good to share your feeling with other like yourself. If none exist in your area then maybe a psychoanalyst can help.

Answer 9

Do more than think... Be an active person and try out alot of things. Then decide for yourself what you like and don't like. As you develop more confidence in your own tastes, you won't feel so swayed by the differences in the tastes of others.

Answer 10

You need to have a good think, some time out by yourself and just figure out who you are. it might not take a few minutes it might take a few weeks or even months. youve obviously spent too much time reading into the media or, maybe youve had relationships or family in teh past that have had negative impact in your life by not supporting you with your decisions - thus subconsciously you are always trying to 'fit in' or to 'impress people'. it is GREAT if you like red and your friends dont, it means they'll never borrow yoru clothes!! if thats the worse thing you and your friends disagree on id be happy to be you. it isnt a bad thing to like different things to your friends/family/work mates, it IS a bad thing though to change who YOU ARE just to be like them. it is fine being yourself. it is BETTER being yourself. people in this world dont want eveyrone to be a clone of everyone else, there is only ONE you in this world and you have to live like YOU not like the people around you. Listen to your gut/heart it usualy is right. If you want to eat something just go out and try it, or go there or meet that person youve been dying to meet but your friends told you hes 'too short'... its your life and whilst it is nice to be friendly, considerate and honest with your friends, its also up to friends to support you and be there for you with the decisions you make in life. do things that make YOU happy because otherwise youre going to end up on your death bed and wish you didnt live the way you did, and have so many regrets. it is better to have regrets on what you DID do, than what you DIDNT. yes it is good to take other peoples advice, but you dont have to take it to heart unless you want to, unless you agree with it too. next time youre in a situation where for example your with friends shopping, and you see a nice top. if youre friends turn around and say the colour looks wrong on you, but you think it looks nice, just line up at the counter and buy it. youre friends might even respect the idea of you stickign up for yourself. if they are your true friends, tehy will want you to be happy, not anxious over being 'less sensitive & not over react'. just be yourself.