what do you need to do before you get married?

Question

my boyfriend and i are thinking about it strongly but dont want to jump in head first and then try to back out, we are both 19 and i want kids young so advice pleaze

Answer 1

Make 100% sure that you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Make sure you are getting everything you need out of the relationship and that you are completely happy. Also, you need to make sure you pick a good father that will be in your children's lives forever.

P.S. If you are asking random people if you are ready for marriage, I don't think you are quite ready.

Answer 2

Well having a place of your own would be a good first start - try living together if you don't already before you get hitched. It can be a big wake up call. If all goes well with that, and you're able to handle life on your own both emotionally and financially, then start saving for a wedding. Make sure you have no doubts about wanting to spend the rest of your life with this man. If there are ANY doubts, hold off on the marriage thing. Stay with him as bf/gf or fiance's or whatever, but do not go through with it if there is doubt. It's a recipe for disaster. Other than making sure you can make it on your own and that you really want to be with him, there isn't much you need to do before you get married other than plan the actual details of your wedding. Check out state laws on how to obtain a marriage license - some states require a blood test before they will issue one. As far as wanting kids young, make sure it's what you really want. Once you have a child everything changes. I was 22 when I got married and had my son. I wouldn't trade my husband or son for the world, but I do wish we had waited a little longer before having a child. The only time we can ever really count on "us" time is when my mom takes our son overnight for our anniversary. Having a child is a huge test on your relationship. You sacrifice a lot as a couple romantically, intimately, and socially when you become a parent. Make sure it's something you're both ready for. If you feel confident and you can deal with having no life outside of diapers, the playground and PBS kids, then you may be ready to have a child. If it sounds like torture, then wait a while. Only you knows what is best for you though.... all we can do if give our advice. Good luck in whatever you chose. Just know that statistics are NOT in your favor right now on having a marriage that will last. Nobody marries thinking I'm going to get divorced, but it does happen statistically much more frequently in younger adults, who do sacrifice quite a bit to get married and have children.

Answer 3

Marriage is one of the important steps in life, as such it should be a decision not taken lightly. Beauty, riches, companionship and sex are some of the things one enter into marriage for, but may soon find theses things do not necessarily hold a marriage bond secure. Get advise from your family, they will never steer you wrong, make you’re your feelings is love and not infatuation. (Hint: all you see is how cute and perfect he is)
You need to make sure both you and your prospective mate is compatible, find our how does he treat his family especially his mother, sisters, the elderly, find out how he deals with money or lack of it (hey you never know) his sexual habits what does he expect from you in that area, will it make you comfortable? Visit his family to better understand his family values; this may be a sign of what he will seek for in his wife. Communication is very important in a marriage union, can you talk about anything with him and not afraid of a shut down?
You said you want kids, how many do you and your mate wants? How much work experience do you have? Do you have sufficient savings? Kids can be very expensive. Do you plan to work after the kids arrive? Can you afford not to? If you do, is there someone responsible and trustworthy to care for them when you and your husband work? As you can see the questions go on and on, so many things to consider. You are still so young do not try to grow up too fast. In the real world we spend more time being adult than youth so enjoy the youth, take your time to grow up seek productive experience, at you age there are so many beautiful things yet to see, experience and enjoy.

Answer 4

I married at 19 and I wouldn't do it again for all the money in the world. It's too young, too many things you haven't experienced and can't once your married and have a family. Wait awhile.

Answer 5

sweety the way i see it is that if you are both ready for it, and that you also know that a marriage is a COMMITMENT then go for it. i have been engaged for 2 years and i am now 21, i will be getting married in 66 days! so go for it ! GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

You have to make sure its not someone that you cant live with make sure it is someone that you cant live without!! I Married at 20 and my wife is 19 and we are both successful and don't need to worry about anything because we have god and he blesses us everyday!!!

Answer 7

DON'T RUSH IT. YOU ARE BOTH YOUNG ENOUGH TO GO TO COLLEGE OR LEARN SKILLS FOR GOOD JOB.THAT WOULD MAKE A MUCH STRONGER FOUNDATION FOR YOUR LIVES. YOU WILL NEED 2 INCOMES.

Answer 8

CASH into your account and a stable job for urself