I am trying to get to know this guy. He's attentive, he's caring, he's nice, & he's considerate. The thing is his job always keeps him on the go from city to city within our state. He told me his last relationship of 3 years ended because his ex gf would not accept the feeling of being alone in a relationship anymore. He did not want it to end, but said it was not until it was over that he fully understood where she was coming from. We have been talking for a few weeks, but he has not been able to take me out yet because of the same reason. He calls me everyday, and always keeps his word on calling me. I was going to ask him do he think it would be best to just have a friend with benefits. I would "not" be that friend, but as bad as he wants a relationship his job seems to be his gf & as much as he tries to come through you still miss the physical. I think he is attentive because he learned from mistake, but it hard to get to know someone as well as date them with a demanding job.
2007-02-28 08:25:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
MY QUESTION IS HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS?
2007-02-28 08:41:01 · update #1
Perhaps you should look at your own preferences. Would you enjoy a relationship that cannot be too demanding on your own time, because his first priority is his job? If that is the case, you can enjoy your relationship with this man as a sort of occassional excitement when he does become available to be seen in person. Dating other men would be a good option along with this scenario.
If that does not sound like you, perhaps you should consider that it sounds like HIM? Not only is his job more important than any woman, (YOU included) perhaps the occassional contact with the "insignificant others" in his life is more fun than a more frequent and more demanding relationship with only one woman.
He is unavailable and will not change that. What you need to understand is if this is something that works for you for one reason or another. If it does not, and you want a more serous relationship with frequent personal contact, you need to skip this person as other than just a friend.
2007-02-28 08:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Veronica W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was in a 3 year relationship and his job cost him that relationship. What aren't you SEEING HERE? He knows now that his job is keeping him from a real relationship yet he still HASN'T CHANGED JOBS.... He's dedicated to his work. He loves the demanding job other wise don't you think he'd get another job??. Why don't you make a suggestion to him about changing jobs and see what his response is. Other wise I don't know what to tell you. He probably has a women in every town he calls on for all you know.
2007-02-28 16:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women generally can't handle it. Some can. I was 100% travel for 12 years, and I never found one that could handle it and stopped trying for a while. As I got older, I realized I was possibly missing out on life and re-prioritized things so that I got a non-travel job, bought a house near family, started dating again (and, boy, did I forget some stuff--smile), but I was 40 before I did that.
You're going to have to decide if you can handle it yourself unless he suddenly decides to change tracks.
What you are feeling is that he is married... to his job. Been there.
2007-02-28 16:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking on the cell phone while driving is dangerous. Tell him to find a desk job or a warehouse job stacking boxes to keep his mind off the ladies.
2007-02-28 16:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get a job at a desk somewhere if he's lonely. You can't work hard for the almighty dollar and then not invest time in your relationship or you lose both.
2007-02-28 16:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to re-evaluate his priorities. Does he want a career more than someone to spend his time and life with? If, so he'll be a very lonely man. Maybe he needs to find another job.
2007-02-28 16:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by sweet thang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would handle this by finding someone for whom I was more important than their complete dedication to their job.
Phone conversations are no substitute for one on one conversations, to say nothing of physical intimacy.
2007-02-28 16:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your question?
2007-02-28 16:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋