I am so tired I don't know what to do with a husband that is self centered and ignores me?

Question

I cook, clean, shop, do laundry, iron his clothes, repair the house, do yard work, entertain his friends and family. He takes others out before he takes me out. He comes and goes and does not tell me. I hate grocery shopping because I have to do the whole thing- haul bags in and put it all away, and then cook it all for ungrateful people. Ideas? By the way- I am pretty and give it to him whenever he wants- I totally satisfy him in every way- so don't go there.

Answer 1

You spoiled him too much. Sometimes you have to hold back on things that you can do for him. That's what I do. Show him little by little what you can do and what you are capable of. Cooking and cleaning...and so on....and on....this is so very hard to keep up everyday. If your spous doesn't appreciate what you do for him than you'll start to think that you are only there as a maid not as equal partner. What for? why serve someone who doesn't appreciate you? I won't do it for not even for lots and lots of money. I would normally sugest you to sit down and really talk to him. But I don't think that's gonna do any good. He is already too used to being served by you. Just drop everything and stop doing what you've been doing. Cover your ears, cover your eyes and cover your mouth. Do that until your husband explode. Than sit him down and talk to him. You need a major change in your life. Or else this will never change. Be brave and stand up to him.

Answer 2

Perhaps you are TOO perfect . . . like a Stepford Wife. You need to help him interact with you a little better. Stop overdoing it, and don't cook, clean, shop, or do laundry for a few weeks. To take up the time, go to museums, daytime concerts, take a class in knitting, etc.

Build a life with some interests of your own, no matter how irrelevant these interests may be to him, so that you don't become a drone or dullard. There are no prizes for being a doormat.

Answer 3

You sound just like my mom. I am so sorry. Because of our talk when I was old enough to understand, I know exactly how you feel. Horrible, unwanted, unappreciated. It took my mom a long time to realize that she had to leave my father. He would be on the computer all night, building his airplanes, drinking his beer, playing golf with his buddies, while she did everything that you do and was unappreciated. I know this saying is harsh and old, but it's so true: "You don't realize what you have until it's gone." Maybe you need to let him know that you're upset with being ignored. Tell him how you feel. Stop doing everything. Come and go as you please, turn the tables on him. Don't cook dinner, make him go grocery shopping. Talk to him, communication is key and it is something lacking in many relationships, I know it was lacking in my parents. Let him know how you feel inside. If he loves you, he'll understand and acknowledge your feelings.

Answer 4

hahaha! that's cute, your pretty and give it up! See that's all we thought guys wanted.

Maybe you should...STOP! being such a NICE person. Just plain old STOP! stop doing it all. By the way do women still IRON their husbands clothe? wow I'm so not with it. The way I SEE IT if his hands ain't broken he can lift that iron and do it all himself. He's not a cripple. Neither is your man, he's not crippled so why are you treating him like one? STOP IT ALL! and if he has the NERVE to ask why your not so nice anymore. Sit down and start from the begging.
I know I hate grocery shopping too, but if I'm out doing it at least my husband comes to the car and unloads. Your man is taking advantage of you. SO STOP IT.

Answer 5

Where had you been hiding all my life hahaha j/k. It's such a shame he takes such a wonderful wife like you for granted. Maybe you should stop doing so much for him. Tell him how you feel and that you need a brake, if things are that bad take a few days away from him. Make him realize what he has and what he can loose if he doesn't change. If things don't work out, I'm still available ;)

Answer 6

I will go there. You give him everything he wants without suggesting a reward. Time for him to pay up.

Tell him you want more help around the house. If he balks, get counseling on your own. You might consider not doing ANYTHING like grocery shopping to see if he notices. Make sure he knows why you stopped, then restart again and tell him what you want. But don't stop sleeping with him unless it's over.

Answer 7

If he does not abuse you, I would suggest sitting him down and telling him how his behavior makes you feel. If that doesn't wake him up, give him an ultimatum & stick to it. If he changes, but only fot a little while, in order to keep you from leaving, then let him know that his little ploy isn't working & follow through with the ultimatum. If he abuses you, or if nothing above phases him, then do yourself a favor & get the heck outta that miserable mariage! You deserve better, and if you love yourself, even a little, you cannot let yourself be treated this way!

Answer 8

You should stop cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing his clothes, repairing the house, doing yard work, and being around when his friends and family are over.

At least you won't be tired anymore.

Answer 9

geez, sounds like you're a catch. Dump him.

I'm house broken. Funny, I did all that stuff for my ex wife and she didn't appreciate me. There's an old Guns and Roses song called "I used to love her"

I love grocery shopping, I make a sport out of it! I could actually feed a family of 4 on about 50 bucks a week, and we ate well!

Answer 10

What you do with this husband is sit him down and tell him that you are not a doormat and that he either needs to treat you with more respect or you want out of the marriage.

And STOP totally satisfying him in every way until he starts to satisfy you!