I know a woman who is a bit older than me and has been married for a long time with kids. I have known her for about a year now. When we first met, I could honestly say that I was attracted to her but I knew she was off the market. However, she always wanted to be around me and now she flirts with me daily. But I am not sure how to take her. Is she just flirting to have fun or is there something else behind it? Her flirting isn't really of the sexual nature but I do see her looking at me a lot when I'm not paying attention. Should I ask her something? And how could I ask it without being obvious?
2007-02-28 08:09:13 · 6 answers · asked by U2 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hmm..I'm a married woman with 2 kids and I was once in that situation. I could have been that same woman you're talking about! I had a very good friend who is a lesbian. I worked with her and we were very very good friends. I was always fascinated by her, and slightly attracted to her. I found that the more I got to know her, the more attracted to her I became. I wasn't sure if I was attracted to just her or if I was bi-curious. So, I decided I was just curious and decided to do something about it and find out what it was that I was feeling. The feelings were so intense...I felt like if I didn't know what it was like to touch another woman - at least kiss one - I was going to explode. So, long story short, I satisfied my curiosities. Down the road, I found out that my very good friend that I worked with had been attracted to me too, but because I was the "married, straight woman with 2 kids", I was off limits.
I finally gathered up enough courage one night when we were out to kiss her, and we ended up having a discreet 4 year relationship. (Those of you who want to pass judgement on me now, please keep it to yourself). My point is....maybe you are stirring feelings in her that she didn't know she had. If she is curious about the lesbian world, or if she's even questioning her sexuality, she could be testing the waters with you. Doing this with someone you work with can be really dangerous and awkward though. I'm not sure if you're openly gay, or what line of work you're in.
Anyway, didn't mean to pull a Tyra Banks and make it all about me. I just get excited when I see a situation that I can relate to. I'm still married, but still identify as a lesbian. I love women, love everything about them. I think you should ask her out for coffee and just play it by ear.
2007-02-28 09:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Confused Woman 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes asking without being obvious is next to impossible! There may or may not be anything behind her flirting. It's possible she may not even truly be aware of the fact she's doing it! She just may believe that she's just being friendly to her younger co-worker. The best way to get to the root of this conundrum is this: Ask if she would like to get some tea/coffee after work the next time you're both at work. If she says yes then go! Have a shop nearby picked out already as well as seating. Very gently, tell her your curious as to her intentions/actions. No no, not that you feel "weird" about it at all, you're just wondering is all. If she ask anything about your orientation, have an honest answer already picked out for her. Be discreet, yet honest. Yeah, I know that sounds like an oxymoron, yet it works the best, trust me! Go from there. Do me one favor would you please? Breathe!
2007-02-28 16:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask to have a 'private heart to heart' talk with her ... and tell her that you 'enjoy' her flirting with you but that you are 'confused' about whether she'd like to 'be with you' in a sexual way' or if her 'flirting' is just her way of 'admiring you' and she doesn't 'want you sexually.' That's really the only way you'll know 'for sure' and you may get 'the answer you want' from it. HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY, but you also need to have RESPECT for the other person's feelings.
2007-02-28 16:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R U A girl? I mean is this a homosexual thing U R talking about?
May be she is just being nice. I mean I have baked cookies for the childrens friends and I try to be nice to them. But, I have no sexual interest in them at all. Of course, I am a grand ma. and a senior citizen.
2007-02-28 16:14:31 · answer #4 · answered by Ruth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"curiosity killed the cat!" ..... Even if you found out she did want you in that way she is still married and with kids. Maybe she is just being nice...you dont want to ask her and then find out she wasnt. Things will probably just be akward from then on.
2007-02-28 16:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by +((VaL))+ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her. It sounds like she's being obvious about it, so you should be too.
2007-02-28 16:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by my_name 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋