if alan partridge and lou off litte britain had a fight who would win?

Question

plz give me a long answer!!!

Answer 1

alan partridge

Answer 2

Alan Partridge of course!

Answer 3

alan partridge
Character
Partridge is depicted as a rather insecure, superficial and narcissistic person, concerned largely with the status and level of his fame and, to a lesser extent, the material possessions this allows him to acquire (such as his beloved Rover and Lexus cars and Bang & Olufsen stereo systems). Whereas many of his personality defects are apparent in his appearances in shows such asThe Day Today and Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge, it is largely from I'm Alan Partridge onwards that his creators began to explore his personality in depth, and most of the observations that follow originated in that show. It is also significant that these shows show a marked downturn in his fortunes as his BBC television career ends, and most of his life from I'm Alan Partridge onwards is consumed by his desire to get back onto television in any way, shape or form, and the various (frequently disastrous) attempts he makes to achieve this goal. He is frequently found reciting surreal, and ever more desperate, ideas for programmes (several involving Jet from Gladiators) into a dictaphone.

Despite being a professional chat-show host, Partridge is extremely socially incompetent and awkward. He displays deep insensitivity to social norms, and at times he appears to be a somewhat ghoulish character, displaying astonishing thoughtlessness, selfishness and lack of interest in anything or anyone outside of his own wants, needs and desires. He seems unable to forge genuine friendships, usually only needing a sympathetic ear for his terrible jokes, comically banal topics of conversation ('Bowl of bread there') and overall boring inanity. Most of his attempts to form friendships with others - such as the staff of the Linton Travel Tavern in I'm Alan Partridge series one and the builders constructing his house in series two - are doomed to failure, however, as those he is forcing his company on are quick to see his unpleasant, self-involved nature.

Among his few 'friends' are Lynn Benfield, his put-upon and long-suffering personal assistant, and Michael, an emotionally tortured ex-soldier from Newcastle-upon-Tyne; it is notable, however, that he treats even these 'friends' with little more than contempt and disdain. He doesn't even seem to be on first-name terms with Michael, who usually refers to him as "Mr. Partridge". Despite showing them little concern or regard, Partridge nonetheless appears to expect them to be completely devoted to him in return, and is genuinely appalled when this is revealed not to be the case; in series one of I'm Alan Partridge, he threatens to fire Lynn at one point when she laughs at a joke made at his expense and for "...joining in fun in a way that excludes her employer", and on another occasion in series two, upon discovering that Michael has other friends than just him ("Michael, what the Hell's going on?!"), Partridge breaks up their 'friendship' before storming out in an over-protective huff.

Partridge doesn't appear to have a particularly rich or detailed personal life, and often whiles away the hours fixating on trivialities. He often occupies himself with pointless or needless tasks, seemingly just to give himself something to do; in one episode, whilst still living at the Linton Travel Tavern, he walks to a service station to acquire twelve bottles of windscreen washer fluid for no apparent reason. The same episode also sees him drive around a ring-road repeatedly and purchase tungsten-tipped screws he had no intention of using, seemingly just to kill time. He also once went to an amusement arcade when all his friends had abandoned him, where Alan's childish tendencies came about. ("Then I fought some zombies with a boy in care. Wiped the floor with him."). Most of his interests appear to reflect his taste for the superficial and flashy; it is perhaps notable that he once described Paul McCartney's band Wings as "the band the Beatles could have been". He is also fond of the music of Kate Bush, the Electric Light Orchestra and Abba, and appears to be stuck in a time warp with regards to modern society. He also boasts about his six-figure income, and self-bult five-bedroomed house in a 'good part' of Norwich (With three acres of land and access to a private stream. Alan's few hobbies are driving, rambling, birdwatching, and collecting celebrity memorabilia.

Politically, Partridge leans towards the conservative, and he is a strong Thatcherite. His favourite newspaper is the Daily Mail, a right-leaning publication ("arguably", he claims, "the best newspaper in the world"), and he is very pro-law and has a strong stance on criminality, viewing hoodlums and miscreants as 'sub-human scum'. He's also in favour of the death penalty for 'treason and murder'.

Sexually, he appears rather repressed, illustrated by the lengths he goes to deny any interest in Bangkok 'lady-boys' ("fascinating creatures, though. Looks like a lady, but really it's a man. I don't find them attractive, it's just confusing"). He describes himself as being a 'homosceptic', but appears to possess some hidden homoerotic or bisexual tendencies; in the first series of I'm Alan Partridge, he frequently finds himself fantasising about performing an erotic dance for a selection of men (usually those who can help further his career in some way, such as Tony Hayers) in a peephole Pringle jumper and vulcanised rubber pants, and was apparently once witness to naked bare-knuckle boxing in a "barn in Somerset". He can be prudish, too, as when he insists on "letting battle commence" with his soon-to-be-unemployed receptionist with the room in total darkness, and then he gets very upset when she decides to spice things up a bit by applying chocolate mousse to his person. And when it turns out that his new, best friend Dan and his wife are swingers ("they're sex people, Lynn! They're sex swappers!") he can't get out of the house fast enough. Despite this, Alan and his ex-wife did once make love behind a large boulder in Helvellyn for his birthday.

Misogyny, to a certain extent, could also feature quite markedly in Alan's life. He does tend to "objectify" women, without really seeing them as people. He often patronises those he comes across, and Alan's repressed tendencies are apparent once more, especially seeing as his first choice for romantic dates are bird sanctuaries. Leaving aside his dreadful relationship with his ex-wife, every woman he meets ends up ridiculing, ignoring, or detesting him, because of his manner toward them. In the second series of I'm Alan Partridge, however, he does manage to engage in and sustain a romantic and sexual relationship with Sonja, a scatter-brained thirty-three year old immigrant from Eastern Europe who is quite devoted to him (although it seems that the language and cultural barriers between the two and Sonja's scatterbrained personality form something of a barrier between her and Alan's personality) - it is apparent, however, that the affection she has towards him is largely unreturned and that his relationship with her is mainly based on the boost to his ego that the fifteen-year age gap in their relationship gives to him (which he is frequently heard boasting about) and not on any great feeling he has towards her. "I love you... in a way", he says at one point, and after comparing her to a Bond "femme fatale" he mentions that he "doesn't trust her". At the end of series 2, when she is evicted from her flat, he lets her stay in the caravan - "if they can come to some arrangement".

Alan is fairly isolated from his family, too. Both his children are estranged and wish for nothing to do with him, and he is divorced. Alan has one sister, a nephew, a cousin (Who owns BBC Radio Norwich), an uncle who died a virgin, and a brother-in-law who Alan finds irritating on account of his constant whinging about Parkinson's Disease. Alan's father is deceased but his mother is mentioned in the DVD commentaries as alive but ill. Alan doesn't seem particulariy close to anyone in his family, and we have never seen any of them. Alan's chronic lack of social skills and unpleasantness as a human being further cement his alienation from his family.

He apparently considers Dave Lee Travis to be his nemesis.