My husband's friend from Michigan came down for our wedding. What we didn't know is that he took a one way trip here to California and never planned on returning. He is becoming a dupree! He is really nice and clean but everything about him is starting to bug me. I am 5 mths preganant and I need my space with my husband and daughter. We are now moving to a new place this weekend and my husband is giving him a month to get out. I want hime to leave today but I know that's not fair or enough time to save cash to move. He hasn't helped with bills, groceries, or anything and it just bugs me to see him eat the food I just bought for my family. I cannot support another adult. Am I just feeling this way because I'm pregnant?
2007-02-28 08:07:23 · 25 answers · asked by Jenny007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had a similar thing happen to me when I was young and married with three small children. My husband took pity on a man who worked for him and invited him and his wife and 2 children to stay with us while they got on their feet. The wife did absolutely nothing to help out slept until noon, and acted like I was her servant. Looking back, I can see that my immaturity kept me from laying it on the line and establishing some perimiters.
First, let me say it is a very admirable thing that your husband told him that he has a month then must move.
It is not your problem that the man does not have enough cash to move out. What kind of person shows up and just crashes with a newly married couple? Shame on him! What was he thinking! Don't feel guilty or sorry for him. We all make choices in life.
I suggest you tell the man that in the meantime, (during this month) You need him to assume certain responsibilities around the house. Especially if he does not work. Also, screw up your courage and tell him that you need him to move as soon as possible but at least by the end of the month, and that you are newly married, trying to adjust to married life, and also are expecting a child. Tell him you really like him and all but you need your private space. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO DO THIS. Your husband is probably between a rock and a hard place with this situation. I would speak to the man when your husband is not present to avoid embarrassment on your husband's part.
2007-02-28 08:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but the bigger problem is why you and your husband have not sat down and agreed on an exit plan. Two months IMO is way long enough to help a friend. This is not a good living situation for your family which is the number 1 priority. Give him two weeks to a month to move out. No if ands or butts. Tell your hubby if he doesn't agree then you two need to reconsider your relationship because he is not putting the families need first.
2007-02-28 08:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband was too nice to even give that moocher a month! His friend has managed to take advantage of you two completely without shame. If it were me, I would have asked him to leave a long time ago without hesitation. Too bad your husband gave him a month. I bet when that month is up his friend will find another reason to stay. Better make it clear that he is to go at the end of the montn no more excuses or chances. Your husband seems to be a pushover and his buddy knows it.
2007-02-28 08:13:39 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a month is too long away, have you told your hubby like yesterday his pal needs to be gone THIS weekend. Pregancy has nothing to do with it. He's a leech and he needs to get into an extended stay down the street somewhere, thats why he is "clean and nice" coz he wants to stay, a month will be two, then baby arrives and soon, he will be the babysitter, write him a note, if you and your hubby cant say it.
Too bad, he didnt tell you he had bought a one way why should you care where he stays. Forget being freinds nothing is free!!!
2007-02-28 08:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by reene2g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not feeling like this because your pregnant. You mad and have a very good reason. Your husband should be the one to tell him tho. He can say, you have 1 month to find a place of your own, cause the baby is coming and you want your own family space back. No need to say more.
2007-02-28 08:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Dude, move out."
I think he is taking you guys for a ride! Not paying towards anything at all, why have you allowed him to do that? He should at least buy his own food or something!
Tell him you can no longer afford to have him live there, and with another baby on the way there will simply be no room for him in the new house! Tell your husband to talk to him if you prefer, but seriously, get him out!
2007-02-28 08:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Smartie 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nooooo way...this has to be a joke. He came down to your wedding and stayed. Wow...and he still is living with you both....NOooooo. Because he is your husbands friend, he should be the one to assist him right out of the house. If your husband has given him a deadline then the both of you need to stick with it. To heck with him if he doesn't have anywhere to go. You are not his mom or dad, he did this without asking you or your husbands approval. He just moved in. If you don't stick with the deadline given, then he will be moving in with you and your family to a brand new home. If he can do this...can I move in too. Stick to your guard and do NOT given in. I wish you and yours the best and congrats on your wedding and new baby coming ; )
2007-02-28 08:33:54 · answer #7 · answered by DJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are NOT feeling this way because you're pregnant - you're feeling this way because your husband's friend is a BUM. Whether or not he has any money is NOT your problem - he is NOT your responsibility. Pack up his crap and send him to the YMCA TODAY - do NOT let him come to the new place with you! Your husband should SUPPORT this - he's YOUR husband with a child on the way - NOT a single guy anymore!
2007-02-28 08:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is taking full advantage of your hospitality.
Give him a boost by helping him find a trailor or apartment and
help him get a job.
He needs a boost and he will be out the door.
That way, your food and electric bill will not go up.
If he is flat broke, help him out on his own and tell him to
pay back with first paycheck.
This will keep you all on good terms.
Good Luck, but he needs to GET A LIFE!
2007-02-28 08:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a male
YOU are not at fault
It is your husbands responsibility to get the guy out-plain and simple-yes give him one month BUT put a date to that one month. This is an unacceptable situation that was dumped in your lap. This can be worked out reasonably-set the date TODAY!
2007-02-28 08:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by Allen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋