I've been thinking about this for 10 years now . Should I ask to get a paternity test done ? How would I even contact her ? Call her agent ? Find out who her attorney is ?
2007-02-28 07:56:01 · 21 answers · asked by colinacalle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her money is NOT what I am concerned with . It's the point of whether or not I want to become part of Entertainment Tonight or just keep my mouth shut . How can I do anything without bringing attention ..???
2007-02-28 08:04:11 · update #1
I was unaware that the child even existed 11 years ago , that's why I haven't / hadn't said anything . Yes , the child is now an adult ( 19 years old ) . The child has had a father figure since 1989 or so . The child knows that the father figure is not his father but the world does not know this .
2007-02-28 08:19:05 · update #2
One last concern of mine is this ; Am I gonna lose everything I have due to back child support $$$$'s ???????
2007-02-28 08:22:38 · update #3
No , I am not talking about Anna N Smith but that very scenario is what I am afraid of .
2007-02-28 08:51:13 · update #4
If you didn't want to bring attention why did you wait until now? I'd say you are really in a dilemma. If that's your child I would have stepped up a LOOOONG time ago.
2007-02-28 08:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child of divorce myself, and as a person with a strong science background and with health issues....
You should first find a good lawyer. Tread lightly. Make sure the lawyer understands you don't want a drop of money, but also that you fear you may owe back support if this young man is found to be your son (if a paternity test is done). Once you and your lawyer are on the same page about it, then see if some sort of contact can be made to her lawyer about the situation.
It should be discussed that you would just like to know if you are the father, and if so that you would like to have a relationship with your son, only if your son wants to know his biological father. You may also state that at the very least, you would like to know and for him to know if you are the father, that way he can know of any medical issues that may run in your side of the family.
You can discuss that you would be willing to do a paternity test to make this determination. Then really the ball is in her and your potential son's court. If he wants to know his real father and she is willing to comply with her son's wishes, then hopefully they will pursue testing.
Then if you are the father, you can try to establish some sort of relationship with him. Be prepared though that they may only want the test to be able to determine paternity only so as to get a medical history/background for your family for his own medical purposes. Other than that, neither may want to pursue this.
It can be emotional, long and drawn out. Also be prepared that there is a chance some of this could end up public. If you know all of that and are still willing to pursue this, then you should. You could gain a son in this, and he could get to know his real father. And even not, you would at least finally have an answer either way, and not spend the rest of your life wondering.
Best of luck
2007-02-28 09:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by Brn_Eye_Grl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out who her attorney is and write a letter and let them know that you plan on seeking contact with the child and you're going to reques a paternity test.
Legally they cannot stop you since the child is now an adult but out of courtesy she should know. The kid may think another man is the bio-father and may need to be spoken to.
ONLY do this if you are certain it could be your child. OH and don't expect any money unless the kid is dead famous too.
2007-02-28 08:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose nobody can stop you trying, but why? If she never told you that the child was yours, why do you assume it was? At this stage of the game, why bother her unless it's for the money? The child obviously doesn't know you as a father and at age 20, why would he/she really want to? You haven't contributed anything up to this point. Me thinks that you are wanting to scare her into giving you a check to stay away.
If you wanted to contact her, just find out who represents her and leave a message. I bet she doesn't even remember your name though.
2007-02-28 08:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child may always have a burning curiosity to know, therefore it is the right thing to do to have the test and resolve it once and for all. You can ask to keep it low-key so you don't have to deal with the publicity. I would think it would be respectful to attempt to contact her directly. If not I would contact the child. If they do not want to have your contact they will surely let you know.
2007-02-28 08:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're good ! Your buddy is a dork and he or she don't comprehend that's suited or incorrect. you assert the girl is accompanied. might she enable her low existence , filthy guy to proceed on. What interior the hell is faulty along with her. Or do you assume she condones it. i think of branch of Human service to Abuse toddlers could be called in. The unfavorable woman probable would not comprehend what to do. think of of the disgrace and fright she is enduring. This mom would not think of lots of this woman if she is even letting him mislead a counselor. sounds like she is off her base too. Get the girl out of their abode, because of the fact this low existence Father and this mom without backbone will enable it proceed. could be it fairly is been going on for a protracted time. unfavorable youngster, would not comprehend what to do. You help the girl, She is the only that needs to be rescued. probably, you are the only one, who cares. Take care and might God bless the defensless baby and you, who could help her. good success
2016-10-16 23:13:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you slept with her 20 years ago then the child is now an adult. Even if it is yours you weren't there to be a father her whole life. Who gives a crap if you donated sperm?
2007-02-28 08:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want you should proceed with this process...You should get a liar of your own to look into it and find out how to contact her...but if you give me searching it isn't fair to you or the child you both deserve to know the truth...Follow your heart the rest will lead the way....Don't give up
2007-02-28 08:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by takenangel28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go Mac. You'll be ranked with those other hillbillies like the Anna Nicole Smith fiasco.
It'll get you no where. Plus no good can come of this.
2007-02-28 08:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if the child is 20 years old then why not try to contact him/her? While you're at it you might try explaining why you are just now trying to figure this out.
2007-02-28 08:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋