A year ago a close friend of mine talked about me to one of my family members. I forgave her for it and I continued to talk to her. However, she continued to talk about me behind my back. I stopped answering her calls and e-mails. However, she doesn't get the hint that I am no longer talking to her. She continues to e-mail and call me even after I stopped responding to her calls and e-mails. Today I received another e-mail from her. It's has been awhile since we last talked. I have mixed feelings about talking to her again. We have been friends for more than 20 years. In the last year or so when I needed her support I felt like she betrayed me by taking my person struggles and talking about me to members of my family not once but twice.
I want to respond to her e-mail by telling her how I feel. However, I don't know if I really want to be her friend again. Should I respond to her e-mail or should I continue to avoid her.
2007-02-28 07:30:33 · 22 answers · asked by Inez 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would leave it be.
If you respond to her, she may take that as her way to get back in your life.
You're better off without her.
Find new friends.
2007-02-28 07:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should and you should tell her "I have mixed feelings about talking to her again. We have been friends for more than 20 years. In the last year or so when I needed her support I felt like she betrayed me by taking my person struggles and talking about me to members of my family not once but twice." I don't know if I really want to be her friend again. then wait to see what she say's
2007-02-28 07:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respond to her one final time telling her your feelings about this. When she does this once, you forgave her, great, but when she did it again, that's when she just crossed over the line. I don't think you should speak to her, or at least keep a distance from her.
I can't tell you what to do. If you still want to talk to her and be friends then go ahead, but things will never be the same because you would never trust her. So just let her know how you feel, and if you want to be her friend, don't tell her anything personal.
2007-02-28 07:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of creepy of her to keep calling and e-mailing you without any reply. Actually very creepy... She really should have gotten the hint by now. If you really don't feel like being her friend anymore, you need to either tell her how you feel, or keep up with the avoiding indefinitely. If you keep avoiding her she'll have to eventually get the hint. It might take years though.
Contrary to popular opinion I believe telling someone the truth instead of just avoiding them isn't necessarily the nicest thing. Instead of gradually realising that you don't want to talk to them, they get a horrible sudden rejection. In this case though that might be what she needs.
2007-02-28 07:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been friends with someone for 20 years and can't communicate when things have gone wrong, then thats a sign that you didn't have a good friendship in the first place. Its easy to talk to someone when things are going well, however the measure of true friendship is what happens when things aren't going so well. But if after 20 years you've decided you don't want the friendship, then at least give her the courtesy of letting her know. You'll feel better for being true to yourself and to the friendship.
2007-02-28 07:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by Elle E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would respond and tell her how I felt. Maybe she just doesn't get it, that is why she keeps trying to contact you. Obviously she has not learned if she betrayed you twice by talking behind your back on two separate occasions, that you know of. Tell her how you feel and maybe then she will finally understand that you are not interested in having a friendship with her. Good luck to you.
2007-02-28 07:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Peace2All 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a while she may get the picture, if she does not, simply call her and state that you don't trust her and you are finished with her. After that change your phone number and I believe there is a way to block her emails, if she shows up at your house get a restraining order for simple harassment. Hopefully it will not come to that. Some people are just parasites that like to suck you dry and cause you pain. You don't need that variety in your life.
2007-02-28 07:37:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say tell her...tell her that oyu are upset by what she has done and that you no longer want to speek to her...you see friends dont do that...that is stuff that you do in elementary...not as adults...i totoally think that she needs to stop and that you should not avoid her but not totally respond to every e-mail...and when you do respond put like one word responses...that will show her that you mean business
2007-02-28 07:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by Brooke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respond to her e mail and tell her how you feel that way she will know as it stands she my not have a clue but if pain is what you want to inflict then ignore her because that hurts
2007-02-28 07:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by delmonticoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means respond. Tell her how you feel betrayed and to enjoy the rest of her life without you.
2007-02-28 07:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say e-mail her back. Tell her about all of this. She needs to quit talking about you like that.. real friends don't do that.
2007-02-28 07:34:35 · answer #11 · answered by ladyeilwynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋