My best friend and I are on maternity leave. My friend has decided that she only wants to be a homemaker now and no longer wants to work outside of the home. Her husband earns enough to support the family well on his income alone. My other friends make fun of her now behind her back and say that she is a loser for not wanting more. I am only worried that if he leaves her, which I doubt highly, that she will be in a bad way. What should I advise her, what should I tell our friends who make fun of her?.
2007-02-28 07:24:47 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I agree there is a major jealousy issue. the only thing is that she is a little naive, she thinks she can stay at home forever, she does not plan on just staying home for a few years. I think ppl just find this weird and I don't know myself that wanting to stay at home forever in this day and age is not bizarre.. long term I mean. I do support her by the way, but I think I should advise her to not decide her whole future just yet????
2007-02-28 08:00:37 · update #1
First of all, congrats for the upcoming babies!
Second, you can tell those jealous broads who say their your friends to buzz-off and get a life. Tell them to mind their own darn business and stay out of yours and hers.
Whatever she decides to do is up to her and her husband. You are probably the only true friend she has besides him since you are so concerned for what to tell her. But really, if she chooses to be a homemaker, that's her choice, and you should support her in her decision. I'm sure she has thought about all the possibilites and things that could happen. I think she will be fine!
Hope this helped and wish all goes well for the both of you! ♥
2007-02-28 07:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if she's happy being a housewife, than good for her. There's nothing wrong with doing that. That way she can spend time with her child more rather than having to get a babysitter to look after her children constantly. If her husband makes enough money, than why does she need a job so badly? She has enough income coming in, and there's no need to be greedy.
If those people are truly her friends they would respect her decision, because I know I would, no matter what my friends wanted to be. I'm sure she knows what she's doing. If her husband leaves her I'm sure she has a second plan. Leave her alone and let her be happy. She could call your friends losers for not taking care of their children 24/7, but she doesn't even though she may have different beliefs, because a friend doesn't do that.
2007-02-28 07:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive of whatever she wants. If I had the choice, I would be a homemaker. There is NOTHING wrong with her wanting that. Actually, it means that she is putting her family first, and making sure that things are done the way that she and her husband feel are the right way. Everyone is entitled to their opinions about things, but if they are hurtful towards someone else, then they need to keep their comments to themselves. If you are worried about your friend and what would happen if her husband left her, suggest to her to start her own bank account and put $20 in whenever she can, and not tell her husband, so that if something did happen in the future, she could have something to fall back on.
2007-02-28 07:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is in a stable, happy marriage and her husband agrees with her decision to stay home, then it is no one else's business!!
Personally, I believe that she is making a wonderful, unselfish decision that will be the best thing for her child. Why have children and stick them in daycare if you have the option to stay home?
These so called "friends" that are saying things behind her back are JEALOUS!! I hope she is smart enough to realize that they are not her true friends! You, if you care about her, should be 100% supportive of whatever she decides to do, and you should be willing to tell anyone who isn't to "get bent"!!!
Good luck!
P.S. I have 4 boys, and stayed home with them until they were all in school full-time! I don't regret it AT ALL, and am absolutely sure that I would have major regrets if I had made any other decision!
2007-02-28 07:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you have to support her with the decision she has made.
My good friend is a full-time house wife. She works longer hours
24-7 than I ever did. Personally, I dont think your friend is a loser for
chosing to stay home. Good for her. Today ,that is a major privelege
with the cost of living. If you are remotely concerned about her
hubby ever flying the coop- offer up some advice so she always
has a plan B
2007-02-28 07:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by Laura G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend and support whatever choice she and her husband make. There are certainly positive aspects to each choice. If she does decide to stay home, she should create a social network of other stay at home moms so she never feels isolated. This is one issue that many stay at home moms have. Being a stay at home mother doesn't have to mean that you don't have any desires and goals. Your goals are just different. I know many working moms who would kill to be home with their children. I think you should be defending her choice to the catty women who talk behind her back. Isn't she your FRIEND?? Who better could raise and parent her children than her? Why would women prefer to work when they can be home raising their kids? Maybe she'll eventually decide to start working again parttime. Whatever her choice may be, be a good friend and support her.
2007-02-28 07:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by luv2teech2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friend wants to be a housewife, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don't know a mother who looks forward to parting with her baby to go back to work. I don't know whether or not your friends have kids, but if they are making fun of her and they have kids of their own, they must be fools. Actually, regardless if they have kids are not, they are FOOLS! That is so rude to belittle someone for having so much love that they want to devote their time to their own flesh and blood. Wow, that makes me really angry, but I'm sorry! I support all stay at home moms and if the hubby can support the family finacially, then by all means... do it! As for your "friends" who tease her, tell them that they should go back to high school, because it seems they'd fit in there with that kind of behavior.
2007-02-28 07:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by Heidi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI there, I have a 9 months old daughter and gave up work and am not thinking of going back. Work did not fulfill me, but my baby does. It is everyone's free decision, if economy allows it, and do not forget that it is good for the baby for their mother to be there and care for them. Your friend made a decision and you as a friend should support her. We cannot live our lives thinking "what if" - she loves her husband, he loves her, they have a baby together - if he was to leave her one day then she will deal with that problem then. Right now she has got the most beautiful thing to enjoy, to see her baby grow and learn, I would not change that for anything in this world. And those who make fun of her - let them talk. One day they will look back with jealousy and think that they wish they had done the same!!!
2007-02-28 07:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Tomas R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying home with the child for awhile while it's a baby is great if you can afford to do that. However, giving up your career until the child is in school or after is a HUGE mistake. There is no guarantee that they will remain married forever and ever. If he leaves her she has no career to fall back on. I work for a recruiting firm and if I have someone come in who hasn't worked for several years because they've been a "stay at home mom", it's pretty hard to find them employment. She needs to keep her job experiences current. Don't stay out of the market too long. Also, it's better for your self esteem.
2007-02-28 07:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by jtaylor1993 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The greatest thing anyone could find in life is happiness. if she is happy as a homemaker than so be it. tell your other friend that you cannot judge a persons life by your terms. For the homemaker friend I would advise her to not get 'lost' in her family and remember to care about herself and still have outside interests instead of just the family,mostly becuase the children will eventaully move out and if she didn't make time for herself she migh have empty nest symdrome afterwards.
2007-02-28 07:30:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋