Today I feel depressed because I have a feeling of worthlessness. Las week my childhood friend came from my country to visit me, she's like my sister and she invited me to have a dinner together. When we went to a restaurant and after 2 hrs. I came home and my husband doesn't talk to me. Monday he went in a bussiness trip and has been 7 days without calling me or nothing, he just calls our children that are in college. But I don't have a social life, when he's at home my friends can't come over or call me because he gets mad at me. I feel now after so many year or marriage that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a man that doesn't respect me or care about me. When he calls and he's traveling just calls to check if the house is ok, if I mow the lawn, if I put fertilizer, if I take care of his truck for change oil and stuff like that. He made ugly comments to me about my breast, that are big. That my legs are not ok for high hills. My height is 5' 8 and my weight is 145 .
2007-02-28 07:16:52 · 6 answers · asked by MayanPrincess@sbcgglobal.net 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you know that the Mayans were once slaves to the Spanish?
Kinda feels like that now...doesn't it? My dear madam, you have already displayed your feelings and with clarity you've laid out just what is eating you and what you feel.
According to you he expresses no interest in you, both emotionally and sexually. Your social life is nil, you're isolated from your friends and you also serve as a gardner and an greasemonkey for his truck.
I think it's time for you to put a plan into motion and bail out. Time to spend some time re-establishing your own life and living it the way you want. Let him find another slave...there are plenty of them out there.
by the way....I see nothing wrong with your breasts...in fact...hubba-hubba...I'm impressed. Same with your legs....they look just fine as far as I'm concerned. Some guys just don't know how good they have it.
2007-02-28 07:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You come from 'another country' and are married to a man who thinks that it's 'okay' and even 'better for her (you)' if he 'keeps you in a submissive position' ... and now that you are 'older' and your children are grown, you are feeling that this is 'not right' and that you want your 'freedom.' It's up to YOU what you want to do about that. If you decide it is 'best' to stay with your husband, then you may 'do what you want, and only what you want' when he is not at home, but you should 'act submissive' toward him when he is at home. Don't let the 'belittling' things he says to you 'affect you' because you can 'know the truth' in your heart even if you 'never say it' out loud in front of him. Or, you may decide to 'leave and divorce him' ... and there are ways that you can do this, even if it means going to a 'shelter' for the 'victims of domestic violence' and staying there and 'learning how to live alone' for the first time in your life. The BIG THING here is to do what YOU THINK is best for you ... because YOU are the 'only person in this world' who has the RIGHT to tell you what is best for you ... and if you are 5'8" tall and weigh 145 pounds, you may be 'slightly overweight' but because you said that you have 'big breasts' I'm guessing that you have a generally 'really good figure' ... and your husband telling you that you 'don't look good' is simply his way of 'keeping you submissive' because he thinks 'ugly people' can't live life on 'their own' ... and we both know he's 'wrong' about that, don't we?
2007-02-28 15:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with him?Years I take it.It sounds like your husband goes away a lot on "business trips" are you sure there all business trips or are you sure he's not taking someone. If he was "controlling" he would not leave you alone for 7days without a call. The truth is he don't care. The other women might of told him not to call you while she with him this time. Come on now do you really think a husband not going to call his "wife" for 7days if he was into her. And when he doe's call you he acts like he calling his maid, or he's child who has to do chores. He don't want that other women to get mad at him if he was to call you as a husband so he keeps it simple when he doe's call you. In when he at home he treats you the same way, that's to keep you controlled. He says mean things to you for you don't feel good about yourself. He don't want friends over because then he would have to play the part acting like he likes you. I think you only there to watch the house when he gone, and a divorce might be degrading to his religion or he don't' want to have to pay you alimony or get the house. Come on lady wake up. Your feeling worthlessness because your holding his hate, his package the way he feels. I hate to see you go out in have affair. I bet you can get dress up, put on some high hills, dress sexy but classing I bet a guy will ask you out and if you did he going to make you feel good about you. But that's not the right thing to do. I think you need to investigate your husband. To see if he having affair. Something wrong here. And for you, you too you need to educate yourself read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger.
2007-02-28 15:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he used to communicate with you lovingly in the past.
Have you tried telling him how you feel.
Have you asked him what he feels .
Sometimes, its just a communication gap that widens & widens & creates a situation.
Get this sorted out. You deserve to feel better. Of course, you are worthy.
2007-02-28 15:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife dumped her ex after 28 years. He is a poster boy for jerks. You do the same thing.
He takes you for granted and he is too old to change.
2007-02-28 15:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by The Rabbi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him to the curb....you don't have to live like that
2007-02-28 15:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by va8326 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋