Why dont most men see the housework needs doing?

Question

Do they have a missing gene? And when they do it why is it not up to our standards?

We both pay MY mortgage! I chose for love not practicalities. Sorry to Ari but i said most men.

Answer 1

First of all, WONDERFUL question! I loved reading all the responses, especially Jan and Melanie G.

Here's my 2 cents, and note that this is a generalization, I don't mean every man on the planet:

Men don't care. They will let the dishes pile up until they don't have anything to eat on, laundry pile up til their out of clean drawers, not wash the sheets until they absolutely reek. Men don't do things until they NEED to do something. They don't think that far in advance. And when they actaully do housework, its a half-assed job because, once again, they don't care. Go to any bachelor's or frat house and take a look and you'll see. Fortunately, they do seem to get a little better with age, they start to appreciate a clean house and clean clothes.

As far as husbands go, I agree with the others on here that say to just ask him for help. That's what I do and my husband is usually happy to help. Does he do it to my standards? Of course not, but at least he does part of it, and I just go behind him and do what he doesnt. (ie. If I ask to wipe off the kitchen counters, he'll do that but wont wipe out the sink, so I do it).

What I think is funny is the rare occurence when they actually do something without being told, and they think they deserve a medal of Honor or something!

Answer 2

My husband is a font of information. Reason 1) is that he and his siblings had to do all the cleaning in their homes from a very young age. They used to be woken up if their mother had seen that the job hadn't been done correctly and they had to take the steps to remedy the incomplete job. He complains that there was a double standard in his home; his sisters didn't have to do outside chores because those chores were for males, yet he had to do inside chores because there weren't any double standards in their home. Doesn't make too much sense. Reason 2) men are hunter and gatherers and if the stuff isn't moving then they don't see it. That theory applies to: where is the remote, where are my shoes, I can't find my glasses, where are my keys, and many other questions. So if the dishes aren't flying in the sink, or if the laundry isn't walking by itself, and if the vacuum cleaner doesn't make noise without being turned on, then men won't see the housework needs doing. Good luck with that!

Answer 3

Good question, it is not that men don't see it, they do, they just choose not to do anything about it. I think most women would be happy if thier even attempted to help do the housework, even if it wasn't up to their standards. Not to be sexist but I think alot of it is how we are raised, if you go back 30 years or so, the woman usually stayed home and did the housework while the man worked. As children we see this and learn from it. Unfortunately, these days it takes both people working to make a decent living yet as men we still expect our wife to be like mom and keep the house. I think in time, within the next generation, you will see more and more men doing the housework. I wish I could help you more, but I have to admit, I am not the best when it comes to house work either. Maybe us guys just need a swift kick in the tail.

Answer 4

It really DOESNT need doing. It's not like the world will approach armageddon if the socks dont get folded a certain way, and making the bed every morning is only about the most ludicrously futile chore on the face of the planet... the effects are lost within the next 16 hours when you go back to sleep! Of course laundry is a chore to keep up on, else you smell like a homeless man no matter how well you shower... but little things like polishing the table, vacuuming the pantry, testing the PH balances of the pool etc. are just mindnumbing tasks that only an obsessive compulsive mess would see value in.

Answer 5

Because there's no clear definition of what 'needs doing' is. My wife's standards for the house are higher then mine. So how much am I expected to help? Half of the housework to my standards, half to hers, or half to a compromise?

Answer 6

Hm. My husband is great at cleaning. I hate it. I can't clean to his standards, so I tell him if he wants the place clean, he can do it. In fact, all of the men I hang out with are better at cleaning than their wives. I don't know where the stereotype of women being good at cleaning started, but I've never seen any evidence that it's based in reality.

Answer 7

If both husband and wife work outside of the home, then I see your point.
But, keep in mind that women by nature are multi-taskers; we have to be in order to care for the kids, the pets, the house, who's on the phone, who's at the door, who did or didn't do their homework yet, etc.
Men by nature are single taskers. Thinking of their primitive instincts, they would hunt, and be done. they would sleep, and be done. they would eat, and be done.
Women even primitive ones would need to do more than several things at once - the kids, the food, gathering materials, cleaning clothes, etc.
Don't be too hard on the dude. If you need help, you have to ask him specifically: Hey, can you make the bed while I throw the chicken in the oven? You'll get more done from him than if you fight with him, and try to get him to multi-task. He will fail at it, I assure you.
As far as it not being up to standards, boy do I ever know that - thats why you only ask him to do certain things, and not others. In this respect, men are alot like kids. The best you can do is organize your home and your life so that it is as easy as possible for you to handle, and then any extra task you can get him to do, and do up to standard, will be icing on your cake. Really, thats all we can do.

Answer 8

Well we are usually too busy workin 12 hours a day and when at home walking the dog, gardening, building walls, decorating the house, plumbing, plastering, building, helping the children with their homework....oh and cleaning and servicing the cars. When I am not doing that I am sleeping and unable to see the state of the house in my sleep. I hope that helps you to understand. PS I hekp with the cooking and dishwashing as well.

Answer 9

Because most men don't think that way. They are not mind-readers, and most of them don't understand women. Sorry - but that's reality. If something needs done, you have to let them know (LOVINGLY) exactly what you would like them to do. Then you lose the "control freak" nature and let them do it THEIR way. (Unless of course he is intentionally messing it up so bad that you will never ask him again - at which point, you give him the benefit of the doubt and LOVINGLY suggest the way you would like to have it done.) Pick your battles, honey - life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I have never been able to get my husband to clean out the sink after shaving, pick up after himself; but it's not worth the hassle. Chances are that he will die before I do, and if that happens, I'm going to miss him AND his messes when he's gone. I remind myself of that unpleasant fact every time I start to grumble about picking up after him. Besides, he treats me like a queen most of the time, and handles the majority of the yard work & ALL of the snow shoveling, and irons his own clothes, so what's a little mess to pick up here & there? Nobody's perfect....

Answer 10

I think most men think that its the womans place to do housework. They dont like to think that we have a life. I think most of them see their mum doing everything and so expect it from their wives or partners. I think there are alot of good men out their who will pull their weight and appreciate what their wives or partners do, there are also alot of men who just dont pull their weight at all. I unfortunatly have one of those but I dont let him off scott free all the time.