My hubby loves me a lot and always kissing and cuddling and keep on feeling me all the time. Breast and butt. But he does not intercourse. he is always tired for that. We have good communicationa nd he says he wants me but is very tired. Even when he makes love its no satisfying for me. How is it possible for a man to touch me like that and than no sex....Everythng else is great in our relationship... But I desire to have a normal healthy sex life.
2007-02-28 06:28:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All I can say is I feel ya...
2007-02-28 06:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you two?
If he is young, there is something wrong with the picture. Either he is part of a 1% of guys that are not always interested in se, he is sick, or he has an affair.
If he is older, maybe he is tired, but unless he is like 70 or older, doing some exercise every day just to keep the body in shape can help with his sexual life. And even being old, working out can help, and don’t forget technology. You have Viagra and similar in case he is “down”.
So first things first: talk to him about your concerns. Be honest, and see what you two can come up as a solution.
Then, see if there is more than just being “tired” involved.
And last, get him into some action too. Since we guys are very visual, it shouldn’t take too much effort from your side to get him exited enough to have sex. Unless you have reasons to think he doesn’t like your body (in which case it would be another issue here), you can wear some sexy stuff like hot shorts and a see through white tank top, or some outfit, anything erotic and sexual. Or do some role playing for him, etc, etc.
And don’t forget about oral sex, a good b/j is like 99.99% guaranteed to get him where you want him to be. And if he is really tired, you can always take control and be the active one. I’m sure you can get him hot enough to start his engines too…
Good luck and have fun with him!
2007-02-28 06:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say he "does not intercourse", do you mean never? Also, has it always been that way?
I have (unfortunately) been through divorce and my first husband was not into sex either. This caused a lot of tension in the marriage and ultimately, he left because his low drive and my high drive were simply not compatible. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you guys tried any counseling?
I feel for you, and I would say that if everything else is great in the relationship, as you say, try actively working with him on this one issue. Maybe you can save it. Or, it could be a medical issue if he's always too tired. Has he been to a doctor?
Just one bit of advice from a woman who's been there...try not to let his lack of desire make you feel bad about yourself or lower your self esteem. I found the situation very demoralizing, so try not to take it too personally...his issue may very well be something fixable! Let's hope...
Hang in there : )
2007-02-28 06:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by ratgrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be having some kind of malfunction problem, as to why I do not know. The poor guy sounds as if he is willing to perform but cannot. Most men are embarrassed to admit it there is a problem such as this one. Get him to open up to you. Maybe by his revealing there is a problem then he can see a doctor to get help. There are many reasons for a man to not be able to perform sexually that I am unable to point out all of them here in such a short note. If he seeks help I am sure he will be able to find out just what it is that is interfering with him being sexually intimate with you the way you want to be. Best of luck to you both!
2007-02-28 06:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a number of things but I suspect you have made him feel inadequate by telling him all the time he doesn't satisfy you. Another possibility is that he has erectile dysfunction which is treatable by a doctor. My advice is to first have him go to the doctor and determine if it is erectile dysfunction and if not for the both of you to go to a marriage counselor.
2007-02-28 06:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just has a low drive... My husband is the same way, but it works for me, there are a lot of things we enjoy together that don't involve sex. If it really bothers you, have him talk to a doctor, he might have low testosterone levels. There's treatment for it.
2007-02-28 06:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and talk to him about it and let him know that when u guys have sex its not satisfying for u anymore and u can help him in doing that... Good luck
2007-02-28 06:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by shorty21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not getting what you want, and there is a support group for people in this horrible plight - SWAGE. We're a nice bunch of people that understand, because we're going through this too.
2007-02-28 07:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he should see a doctor - could be EDS and he is too embarrassed to discuss it with you. If he checks out physically, sounds like counseling would be next to try. He might have intimacy issues.
2007-02-28 06:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ronnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he his putting all that affection on you and not getting himself sleep or rest then what you might wont to do is tell him to take some time off relax get you energy back and make love to me like i no you can. some time men need to just kick back so that you can get more in bed .. Good Luck
2007-02-28 06:42:37 · answer #10 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time play a game go to the sex shop and look for a toy that makes you both happy
2007-02-28 06:36:22 · answer #11 · answered by rubyred6662003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋