I came out to my mom a few months ago and she wasn't happy. Now, when it's just me and her, she ignores me but when others are around she acts different. My dad doesn't like how she treats me but he doesn't say anything. He accepts my sexuality but it really hurts that my mom doesn't... I don't know what to do about the situation... please help me.
2007-02-28 05:59:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Contact PFLAG and get some literature for your mom. It may help her to accept your sexuality. If she doesn't, just keep being yourself, keep loving her, and be thankful for your dad's support.
Good luck and Big Bear Hugs.
2007-02-28 06:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by behrmark 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
As a mom I can tell you it would be a really hard change for your mom. She spent 9 months planning for a baby then when she knew your gender it was so exciting the planning that went into caring for her child the best she knew how and wanting only the best. Then someone, especially you, telling her all the time, effort, energy and planning she put into you was not the best (that is how she perceives it, I'm guessing) for you. That would destroy her, mom's accept their children no matter what, even when they don't like what might be happening, but now you are telling her you are not her child, you are someone she doesn't know. How long did it take you to give in to facing what was going on with yourself? Your mom didn't have anytime to prepare. She loves you, she is your mom, it will take time (some people need more time than others) for your mom to accept something this big and important. A mother's children are her life.
2007-02-28 14:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by WRF 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there. It will get better. My mom wasn't happy when I came out either but she deals with it. I don't feel that you failed her. She just needs some time. Talk to her and tell her this is the way you want your life to be that your happy. I told my mom she would have to except me for who I am if she wanted to be a part of my life. We are doing OK. She still doesn't like it but wants to be a part of my life so she goes along with it. My g/f and I have been together 3 years next month. Give it some time. Good luck!!
2007-02-28 14:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by lez23 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats a tough one... first, realize that she doesn't dislike you. it is common for parents to go through a mourning process at first... second: you can only be yourself. Maintain your integrity. Dont' throw it in her face, but don't feel like you have to hide who you are either. You can't change others, you can only change yourself. Continue to show her the love you expect from her... Also, help to educate her. There are some very good books out there written for parents of gays and lesbians... I gave my folks two of them when I came out. Be good to yourself!
(also, if she's anything like my mom, she's not disappointed in you. she's afraid for how people will treat you, or the threat of you getting hurt- emotionally, physically, sickness, etc... I think the more she sees that being gay and out is bringing you happiness, rather than the above listed things, the more confident she will be in your situation...)
2007-03-04 13:39:13 · answer #4 · answered by tomi27410 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess its the same reason why my mom did the same thing. She later told me she did not know how to handle the announcement because she did not understand it at all. I think time will take care of the shock she probably had when you told her. As she gets back to realizing that you are still her son, I think that parental bond will come back. She may be one of those folks who thru ignorance may feel that you will turn out to be a child molestor etc. Give it time and good luck!!! My mom has now accepted me although she still does not understand how it happened and we have a great relationship again.
2007-02-28 14:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by Brent W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm proud of you for coming out. It's something I'm not strong enought to do. Bravo! Have you tried talking to your mom? If not then do so. If not then give it some more time. Parents have these dreams for thier children and for you it probably included a wonderful marriage to A WOMAN but now that she knows that her dream for you will never come true she's upset and confused. It just takes time. For now talk to your dad and get close to him. It bad goes to worse he may be the only parent you really have left *although I hope and pray it never comes to that*
Good luck! I wish you the best! <3
2007-02-28 14:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by Addicted to Crayola Paste 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You Mom just haven't understand yet. All Mom wanted the best for their kids and be happy. They just need to understand that you are not happy to be someone who you are not, and this is who you are. It takes time for her to understand, so you can't force her to understand. I haven't come out to my Mom, but i always hope that she will understand that i am just trying my best to be happy. Bear with her, deep inside she still love you and she will always do
2007-02-28 16:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by B-D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time just act the way you always have it took my mom a long time to come around but same as you my dad was cool with it
2007-02-28 14:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes taking it through denial, give her some time its not easy to know that the person u gave birth to is a homosexual.
2007-02-28 14:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
behrmark has given you the best answer.
As for the less helpful responses on here, ignore them. You need support, not a bunch of narrow minded detractors.
Good luck with your mother.
2007-02-28 14:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋