my wife is begging me to let her work outside the home but?

Question

i think her place is at home as mom

Answer 1

Not much to go on here, but from first impression, it sounds like you have a good idea on the basis for a great marriage.

A wife's obligation is to support her husband. If you are supporting her financially, her job is to keep house/kids/your needs met.

Maybe you can suggest she read "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and see if you 2 can come together on this subject.

That whole 'women's lib' crap is sending us all down the tubes.

Answer 2

Are you Mormon?
Really. Maybe she just wants something part time. Maybe she needs a job to feel whole. Maybe she just wants to have some of her own money. This could be a great self esteem builder for her. Alot of Mom's need something else to do besides talk to kids all day, wash dishes and laundry and watch the clock tick by waiting for you, The Master, to come home and cook you dinner and be your little slave.
Maybe she just wants to have a little independence. And if you have been having some problems as of late, which I suspect you may have, this could help some of that.
Women need to have a purpose too. And it's not always about you and the kids. And it may not always be the best timing as far as everyone else is concerned. But, she has to have and outlet, or it may come out in other more undesireable ways. Like no sex, tired all the time, bored, sad, unattentive, cranky, lots of things could happen if you don't give her a little space. It doesn't make her a bad mother or wife, and in fact it can improve things. Come on Man, give her a chance to explore her options. Let her experience it. Sometimes women find that's not what they wanted after all and then you still end up getting what you want. But, for her, it won't make any sense until she tries it herself.
Be understanding of her feelings and needs, not just yours. You are not the only one who lives in that house. And if you really love her, I mean really, then you have to let her grow. Don't hold her back, or she will end up holding back from you. And that is worse, trust me.
Just give her a chance to find out for herself.
Give it a try, you may even find that you like it better. She may become alot more appreciative of what you do all day, and she might become more confident, and she will really appreciate and respect you for giving her that space. And you will become closer over it.
She will appreciate the support and will have more confidence in your relationship if she knows that you will back her up when she wants to try something new. What have you got to lose? Unless, your are just a control freak and worried she might have some independence. Then I am sure you are a Mormon.
Good luck with that if you that's the case. You will just end up pushing her away from you. And then you will have done the very thing that you were trying to prevent.

Answer 3

Well I don't agree that a woman can be a good Mother and a good employee. One or the other is going to suffer, you can't give 100% to both. If she knew what your expectations of her before you married and that you wanted her to be a full time Mother to your children, then for her to change the plan in midstream would not be fulfilling her obligation as a wife or Mother. I would agree if and when the children reach school age, (and they are not going to be home-schooled) then would be the time for her to get a job outside of the home. Too many women and apparently some men, think that a woman is somehow a slave to have to stay at home with the children, when in reality, they should take so much pride in being there for their own children, nurturing and shaping their morals and values, especially when they are young, when it is so necessary. If you are providing a moderately comfortable home for your family, then I can't imagine what she thinks she is missing out on not being out in the workforce. It's a sick twisted world we live in, and if she has a choice to stay away from it, it would be a good choice for her and your kids.

Answer 4

You living in the 1950s? Heard the news? Everyone is working outside the home these days.

Can't you agree to at least a part time job for her? I say this because I was a stay at home Mom, and there were so many times that I felt totally trapped.

Women need to get away from the home part of the time, anyway. Good for her mental health. If she feels better, the whole household will be a happier place.

Answer 5

you can be a mom and be a worker, if she wants to get out of the house, then she needs to for her own sanity, have you thought about what she goes though in a day, staying inside and not working, getting bored, while you are out and making a difference. This is not the olden days, we women can work outside the home and take care of the kids, and cook, and clean. My husband is all about me working outside the home, not only is that the extra money, but it gives me some freedom to do things that I like to do. If she is "begging" you then you need to let her, maybe just part time. It will do you and her good.

Answer 6

Where is it written in stone that a woman can't have a career and be a good mom? She may miss the interaction with adults that a job can provide. If you want her to be a housewife/stay at home mom, you should realize that THAT is a job too, and give her all the respect she deserves. Why do you feel the need to try to control what she does?? Isolating the one you love from the outside world is no way to treat her!!

Answer 7

I really cannot think of anything worse for a young woman than to be confined to nothing but pots, pans, dirty diapers, and the same four walls day after day. If she is begging... that seems to be a sign that she needs more social interaction and fulfillment . If you want a happy wife and mother, loosen some of that control.

Answer 8

The wife and I decided BEFORE we married that her place was in
the home for the younguns that we wanted. Since they have left the
home it is/and will be her choice to work "in" or "out" ----so far, she's
stayed home working 24/7 like she always has -- who can figure?

Answer 9

My wife works outside the home. And we have three great kids. She has a lot of time off, so she gets to spend quality time with them. Otherwise she'd be at home alone while they were at school.

Answer 10

Let her out man.. Either that or she will start sneaking around, its just a matter of time before that happens. You have to have trust and just cause she is working don't make her any less of a mother. She can work a part time job man and still do her motherly duties. Its her life and she had the grace to let you be a part of it.. Just let her work a part time job and if things get bad or just plain crazy she can quit and become a full time mom again.

Answer 11

If the children are not school age then yes I think a mom should stay home, until the kids or kid go to school.