This is a question to ladies. Suppose your husband/partner wanted to have sex at a perticular point of time and you are not willing to entertain him. But as a token of affection and sacrifice you agreed to have sex. Is this really so painful to call it marital rape?
Do you think that you should agree to have sex with your spouse at any time he wants even though you are not mentally prepared for it.
2007-02-28 05:57:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The scenario you have described is not marital rape. If she agreed to have sex it is not rape, it is consensual.
Marital rape is real. It is the ULTIMATE betrayal from the one you love. This is where you spouse demands sex, you don't want sex, and they take it from you forcefully. You may kick and scream, you may just lay there and cry...it is a shock either way.
2007-02-28 06:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
<<< Suppose your husband/partner wanted to have sex at a perticular point of time and you are not willing to entertain him. But as a token of affection and sacrifice you agreed to have sex>>>
This is NOT marital rape, because she AGREED, even though she was not really in the mood.
personally, I have sex with my husband whether I really am in the mood or not. It is much easier to just go ahead and get it over with right then, than to have him pouting for a few days. Besides, even though I am not in the mood for it, I have NEVER not enjoyed it once things were going. But he has stated that to him, it felt like he was raping me.
2007-02-28 06:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, anytime someone makes you either physically or mentally to have sex with them, even if they are your spouse, it's rape. Yes, it's forcible intercourse. And this should not be allowed.
And you should not agree to have sex if you don't want to.
A marriage, a real marriage of love isn't just about sex. That's not to say that sex isn't an important part of a marriage, That would be foolish. Of course it is.
But, anytime one or the other forces it on the other, that is not a sexual problem, that is a control issue. Infact, anytime that a spouse forces the other one to do anything, it's a control issue. And that is nothing but abusive and destructive to the relationship as a whole.
When you get married and promise to love, honor and cherish, that doesn't mean that you promise to succumb to the whims of whatever the other person wants, no matter what.
And if they love you, and don't have control issues, then they should not ever even consider forcing you.
Because in a good marriage, there has to be respect. When a husband takes his wife, without her willingness to participate, whether cohersed or not, then he not only is abusing her but he is controling her and has no respect for her.
When someone wants something from you so bad they are willing to take it by force. It's wrong.
If one of your children forcibly took something from one of the other children, even though the other child said no, would you allow it? Would you think that was wrong and a control issue from the taking child? Of course, you would. And you wouldn't allow it.
Why should you allow your spouse to take something from you that you don't feel like sharing at the moment.
And why should you feel obligated to do it just because you signed a piece of paper.
Why should you be the one having these feelings and questions?
Just the fact that you are asking, denotes that you are uncomfortable with the arrangement, that you question it's validity.
So in that, you have answered your own question.
Don't allow him to demean you in this way.
Tell him that you love him and that you don't want to. And if he threatens to get it somewhere else, especially if you are having sex, just maybe not always right when he wants, then honey, you have other fish to fry.
Cause if he says that, then he might already anyway, be doing that.
Anyway, just don't take it from him, if he loves and respects you, he will let you say no.
If he really loves you, then he will respect your feelings. Period!!
2007-02-28 06:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by Harley Girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is forced it is rape plain and simple. I wouldn't consider what you said to be rape, it is not entirely legal, but not rape, now if a husband thinks that he deserves to have sex because he married her, then that is rape and they should go to jail with all the other rapists, if a woman doesn't want to have sex she shouldn't agree as a token of affection and sacrifice. My husband knows if I don't want to, I don't want to period case closed. Women and men shouldn't feel obligated to have sex just because they are married. I would rather have every other day when I was ready and would enjoy it then to have it every day and start hating it.
2007-02-28 06:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the wife agrees to have sex with her spouse, it is not rape! It is rape if he forces himself on her and she does not want sex! Some guys have landed in jail for that, Those guys let the wrong membrane control their body!
2007-02-28 06:25:49 · answer #5 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marital rape is just as bad as date rape or any other kind of rape for that matter. When one person does not want sex and you force yourself upon them it is rape plain and simple. There is no sugar coating this one. If you give in out of affection and do it willingly then no it is not rape.
2007-02-28 06:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the wife agrees to "entertain" him, then it is not rape. It is only considered rape if he goes ahead after she has refused.
I can only guess how many times women just give in and give it up for their man. Sex should be mutually enjoyed, so I say that if you really don't want to, your partner should be considerate of your feelings and not pressure you.
2007-02-28 06:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, no, I'm not gonna have sex with him every time he snaps his fingers. But if I DO have sex with him, even if it's just to make him shut up, then that's not rape. The key is that both parties AGREE, not that they are married or both in the mood.
2007-02-28 06:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is wrong that they want to have sex even through you don't and are not in the mood for it. However, if you agree to it it's not considered rape but if you didnt agree to it then he is raping her.
2007-02-28 06:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by Katie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any time a person is coerced into having sex it is rape...even if you are married to the person! I have known people who have been guilt tripped into saying yes even though they did not want to. Remember that rape is that much worse for those who know the predator...even more so when it is the person they love the most!!!
2007-02-28 06:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by candlefusion 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You asked "Do you think that you should agree to have sex with your spouse at any time he wants even though you are not mentally prepared for it."
My answer to that is HHHHHEEEEELLLLLLLLL NOOOOOO.. if i don't want to have sex and if my partner wants it.. tough.. i don't have to do anything i don't want to.. simple.. Just because i am with him doesn't mean i have to bow to his ever wim.. ppleaz
If sex is forced, whether forced by the husband on his wife.. its still rape.. regardless
2007-02-28 06:04:39 · answer #11 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋