How does a mom cope when her 18 year old son wants to move out.?

Question

He graduates this year. But he thinks he is so grown he does not want to follow rules anymore. I wish he would atleast stay untill he graduates. He only has a part time job. What should i do???

Answer 1

Sometimes kids just have to try and assert their independence. And because they haven't been out there in the "real world" yet, they don't have any idea and think that they do. They only way that he will learn is if he gets out there and tries it. Guarantee he'll be back. At least one more time. But, he has to be exposed to it to understand it first.
And when he does, you have to be able to be objective, when he comes by and he talks about his troubles, then you just nod and say "Yup. I know." Don't lecture or do I told you so. That will just make him resentful and he will quit coming around.
Then when he's ready to come back, you have to sit him down and discuss the rules of the house and you will have to make sure that you are considering his needs too.
And you will have to be willing to compromise on some things.
But, for now, just let him do it. It's the only way he will learn what you are trying to tell him.
I know, I have two grown, (22 and 27) sons. And they have had to learn their own life lessons. You can talk til you are blue in the face, but until they experience it, it's just blah, blah.
Let him try it and just know that you will be there to help when he realizes how hard it is.
And don't worry, most kids are fine. If you keep the lines of communication open and be at least a little open minded. You can't keep looking at him like he is your baby. At least not to his face. He is doing all this because he needs to assert his independence as a Man. Even if you really isn't one yet. He wants to try and feel like one. It's normal, and all you can do is wait there and be his mom. If you are patient and don't nag, and be supportive, he'll realized and come back to do it right the next time.
Hang in there. It's not easy to let go. But, we have to. If we hold on to them too tight, when they finally break free from our talonic hold, they will never come back.
You have to let go, just a little. It's normal and natural, and it's part of life. Embrace it.
Find things to do with your time, things that aren't anything to do with raising children or being a wife and mother. This is your time to look inside and see what it is you still haven't finished. Inside for you. You'll find that you will like this new change and freedom. And it's okay.
If you give him his space, and be supportive, you will always be close. If you hold on too tight and try to control and dominate him with nagging and even guilt, (man, don't use that one on him, you'll never see him again,) you'll push him away.
Good luck! And don't worry. It will all work out if you just be patient and bide your time.

Answer 2

well i not a mom ,but a dad ,, but wife done been threw this 2 times an now going to have a 3th son going to try, but i told him an the other 2 , when you out their, you going to find out it hard, ,, their bills rent, food,, cloth, an so on, well the oldest try it first, an after a 5 mouth , call an said dad can you come get me, well he was 200 hunder miles aay, i ask, well son, you thought you had it hard, dad mom please come get me,we did that was 8 years so the 2th try with the same thing, an he too learn it not a bed of roses so all i can tell you it hard , but leave the light on, an he learn, where home is

Answer 3

My mom is going thru this now with my little brother whose 17. He's already planning when he's moving (after he's 18 of course) but my mom simply said i tried to tell you it's hard out there. When you feel that your missing him trust me he's missing you more.
Let him try it he will be back

Answer 4

i think of that this is optimal to take your son out of this occasion and positioned him along with his father a minimum of for a short on a similar time as, on a similar time as issues get discovered. i'm bi myself, yet i'm imparting you with props for attempting. no longer many Christians are keen to tolerate. meanwhile, separate the three young little ones and get the story from each and each of them. became into your son fairly making advances on the stepson, or became into it any opposite direction around? My perfect buddy became into disowned because of the fact no one believed it to be the latter (even however i became into witness). Please make it concentrated extra on the indisputable fact that stepchildren shouldn't date, fairly than focusing on the homosexuality ingredient. asserting that the homosexuality is the foremost undertaking will in basic terms make your son close down. while achieveable, have a one on one along with your son. do no longer deliver your husband, your ex, or your stepchildren into this one. This communique is especially to get something off of your and his chests, and it is going to no longer be a lecture on ideals or what's faulty. this is a mature, grownup communique to communicate what befell and what needs to. make advantageous he's conscious that. Ask him if there is different issues happening in his existence no count if in school or with acquaintances or in the back of your returned that are bothering him. God bless you, and that i'm hoping issues artwork out for the perfect.

Answer 5

Let him go. Tell him that the door would always be open for him to come back. After a few months of bills, mean landlords and crappy food, he'll be back.

Good luck

Answer 6

He's a legal adult...it doesn't sound like a good move, but he has to learn his lessons himself...you need to decide now if you are going to allow him back when he sees the big ol' world is less friendly than momma.

Answer 7

Let him go. By trying to keep him home you'll only drive him further away.

Answer 8

If he thinks he can make it on his own, let him go. I guarantee he will be back!