i just had a kid on the 22nd and have my doupts if its really mine or not.me and my ex only dated for 2 months and when she got pregnant she left and has been trying to ignore me ever since.i found out her mom is a real man hater and has been telling her to get pregnant and leave the guy since she was 14.by the time it was too late i also found out my ex used to do meth and have sex parties (man thats sick!!) so im worried about the kid too.
2007-02-28 05:56:31 · 15 answers · asked by alvarezplayer83 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sorry to hear about all this. My situation is similar just from the other side. You need to go in and file for paternity ASAP. IF the child is yours then you need to establish a parenting plan through the courts. Depending on where you live and her situation, you can get visitation or TRY to get full custody. Her past meth use and "sex parties" may not have any affect on this. If she is using currently though it definatly will. Visitation /custody are NOT gauranteed just bacause you are the parent. If you 2 can agree outside of court on a parenting plan thats great. Court can get messy and ugly. First things first though. Contact a local (agency for some help getting started. County Health services or even like the DA's office can lead ya in the right direction. You've gotta get that paternity test before anything else. If you KNOW for a fact that she is using meth currently, let someone like CPS (child protective services) know about it. The childs safety should always come first.
2007-02-28 06:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really sad and BAD biased advise people on here are giving you. You don't have to settle for visitations because you are the guy.
If she really is doing drugs and it IS your child, you can get full custody and take the child away from a bad situation. Just because you are a guy doesn't mean you have less rights. First thing first is to establish paternity, go to family court and ask them how to go about this.
If it is your child, you will need a lawyer to represent you and request for custody. You will need SOLID proof of the activities you will be claiming, request drug test, pictures, proof of child abuse etc. You are entitled to at least joint custody, as long as you are both fit parents. lf it is equal you don't pay child support, since both will have equal time with child, but if you can proof she is an unfit mother you get full custody andshe will be requied to pay you support.
Either way, having to pay child support should not stop someone from doing the best for their child. If someone is not physically supporting that child, why wouldn't you want to give some of what you have to give them a better life?
Good luck with everything!
2007-02-28 14:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by sennsativa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court and get a court ordered visitation schedule. Then she can be arrested for not following it. If you are more stable than she is you may want to go for full custody. If you didn't sign an affidavit of paternity when the child was born and your name is not on the birth certificate then you'll first need to establish paternity (DNA test). Of course, once you're established as the father you'll also have to pay child support--don't give the money directly to her, mail it to the state and have them disburse it to her.
2007-02-28 14:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney, taker her and that guy who did meth and have sex parties to court. And doing that you can also get a DNA test done also. With that kind of information about the guy and the mother, you could end up with custody, if it's your baby. But most of all get an attorney. They'll give you advice and such. Goodluck
2007-02-28 14:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by mrs.russell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is to get a DNA test just to be sure. If the kid is yours then I would fight for custody. You don't want your kid to grow up in an environment like that. One more thing if the kid is yours then you need to pay child support and that way she can't keep the child from you at all. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-02-28 14:03:13 · answer #5 · answered by Babygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a DNA test done, if the child is yours take her to court and tell the judge whats going on and see abt taking the kid from her if your ex was taking meth, it wouldnt be right for that child to go through that when he or she gets older. But get a DNA test done first to make sure that child is really urs.
2007-02-28 14:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by tommi_ghurl_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to push having a DNA test. Find out for sure. If it's not yours, then you can turn her into CPS as an abusive parent. If it is yours, go to court and get custody of the child and see to it she doesn't have anything to do with the "kid".
2007-02-28 14:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take her to court and get a DNA test to see if the baby is yours and then work your way from there chances are the baby isn't yours and she led you on. Or if she is getting any help with the baby from what ever state that you live in they will most likely want to know who the father is so he can pay child support to pay them back for their help.
2007-02-28 14:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by mammagin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get legal - court oder and get tested for DNA. If your concerned about the childs saftey and have real reasons for concern,contact human services asap, wheather it's your child or not. It's still an unsafe child, and if it's not yours who else will speak up to save this child?
2007-02-28 14:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
more than likely, it's not your child. however, if you really want to find out, have a paternity test done. that way if you are the father, you can get your rights established. you will have to pay child support though.
2007-02-28 14:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋