I have spent many a sleepless night thinking over the matter. A gal
I know has a heart of gold and has now reformed but in her younger years played fast and loose and lost her pristine seal. Much water has flowed under the bridge since then and after many a trip to detention centers and rehab clinics she is a wall street whiz today. Recently over the phone she told me that she is head over heels with a conseravtive upright fellow who will only marry a virgin and will have to wave a bloody sheet on his wedding night per religious requirements. I told this gal to fake it by inserting a plastic vial of fish blood in that area and let it explode in the dark and ask her maker for forgiveness since the effort is for a noble cause. Also I told her to act ignorant and provide all the usual signs as mentioned in a few choice texts on the matter. Am I being sinful in suggesting this line of action ? I beleive any act that has the potential to make two humans happy cannot be sinful. PLEASE HELP.
2007-02-28 05:22:45 · 54 answers · asked by Kaliyug Ka Plato 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you ever had a virgin before, because if you think you have then either she lied to you or you are very, very small down there and I mean tooth pick like. I have had a couple of virgins in my life and let me tell you it took me until the 3rd day just to get myself inside, it was soooo tight. So, your idea is an idea of ignorance and this will only anger the guy. It will only work if that guy has never had a virgin, has a very big package and she knows how to contract her vaginal muscles like a fist for long periods of time.
So, NO! It is not OK to fake Virginity, because it WILL NOT WORK.
2007-02-28 05:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Are you crazy?? You are encouraging this young woman to start off a life with someone based on lies. I am sure this man DID NOT make his requirement for virginity a secret. Both she and you are effectively making his choice for him and that is not right! Now if it ever surfaces after the wedding, oh say, an ex lover pops up and says anything the marriage will be over. If a man is determined to have a virgin wife, I'm sure his religion will allow a divorce in cases where he has been defrauded. That's exactly what is being done here, don't try to say that it is a 'noble' cause. What would be noble and right would be for the young lady to be honest and see what happens. Maybe if he loves her enough, he will overcome that aspect of her past. If he doesn't love her enough to get past it, she shouldn't be marrying him in the first place. Ugghh!
2007-02-28 05:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by moe497 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking if it is sinful then you are feeling guilty. I have to say that your idea of how to get away with it is quite gross and "NOBLE" cause? Sounds to me as if the only cause may pertain to money perhaps? Two people cannot be "happy" together when the relationship is built upon lies. Healthy and "TRUE" relationships are NOT built upon lies. It will head for disaster but this already sounds like a disaster to me. You said "making two people happy cannot be sinful"...Whoever is being lied to wil not be a happy person at all especially when the grounds for which a marriage is grossly deceptive. I have to be honest and say that you made a horrible choice. Sinful?... I cannot judge that. Only God can. If you want to sleep you need to talk to your friend and get her to tell the truth. If the man loves her for who she is (the "past" makes you who you are) then a blood soaked sheet would not even be an issue. If he does not want her then it wasn't meant to be anyway. Get some sleep...especially before you ever give suggestions such as that.... yuck!...lol
2007-02-28 05:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by millstone7201 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is pure BS.And some answers is pure BS too. Love a person unconditionally. Have you done that? Love a person if the person is alcoholic? Could you do that? If the person's poor? Could you do that? If the person is ugly? Could you do that? If the person has bad habit? Could you do that? If you like the person for something example good character. The good character is the sellign point. In his case virginity is important so that is the selling point. Second BS I say is unconditional love. Go and marry a prostitute or a man or women working as prostitute and then come back and talk to me.
2007-03-01 13:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if the husband comes across someone with whom she has had a torrid time and he cannot keep quiet about it ? After all the world is a small place and round too.
Then what answer will she give her husband when confronted with this piece of revelation which will be contrary to her statement about her virginity given before her marriage to him ?
Won't this create the greatest upheavel in their lives with the husband feeling totally betrayed?
Won't this prove to be the severest test faced by her in her whole life with a direct affront to her integrity?
No, I think your suggestion to her though noble in motive will not stand the test of time.That is why probably, there is a phrase which says 'Never go into a woman's past'. I think it was coined, looking at a woman's vulnerability over the ages to save her from uncomfortable probes into her past .
The right advice to give her would be not to tell anything about her loss of virginity to her would-be-husband nor fake anything but behave in a normal way as is appropiate with the existing times. This way even if the husband comes to know the truth in future, though understandably it will upset him no end, yet the shock of knowing will not be greater than in the first case.
Also, if he truly loves her as he might profess to her umpteenth no. of times after their marraige and if he is an understanding person than he will be ready to forgive her, her indiscretions in the past which happened in the spirit of youthful madness over which only few have control.
Probably, the marriage will still be saved as against the first instant as per your suggestion which will create a severe breach of trust.
2007-02-28 07:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by mcmohan40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you start a new life with a lie? Isn't that what disasterous relationships are built on? I believe honesty is the best policy and if by being honest she loses someone dear to her then that person wasn't worth having in the first place. Good, solid relationships are based on love, trust, compromise and definately honesty. Please ask your friend to be true to herself if not her intended. Perhaps someone needs to tell this 'consertive, upright fellow' that virginity these days amounts to nothing. It's the heart and soul of the person that counts. I wish your friend well.
2007-02-28 05:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great story, can't wait to see this one on the Lifetime Channel.
If he doesn't love her for her self, being honest with her past etc. etc. then he's not the one.
It's as simple as that.
He needs to move on and find that needle in a hay stack of a virgin. Lying will only worsen the situation further down the line when all hell breaks lose. If she does it your way, not only will this man NOT be marrying a virgin, but he'll be marring a dishonest person as well.
2007-02-28 05:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This guys sounds like he's right out of the dark ages.
First of all, bloody sheets are NOT a way to tell if a woman was a virgin or not.. seeing as many women don't bleed enough for that. And some women loose their hymen without ever having sex in the first place.
Secondly, if he really loved her, it really shouldn't matter one way or another.
Starting marriage off on a lie is never a good idea. He'll eventually find out, and then where would she be? It's probably best for her to just be honest with him.
2007-02-28 05:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Gin 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Oh COME ON! We are human beings damn it! noone can stop you from having sex. She shouldnt ask God for forgiveness. im sure The Lord is saying something like "what's wrong with you. why do i care if you had sex? thats what i created you for!
Virginity is nothing. It's not worth making such a big deal out of.
Adam and Eve had sex, back when there was no marriage. The Cavemen had sex, and marrage didnt exist.
If your friend is making a big deal out of this virginity crap, tell her its okay, we all have to have sex sometime tell her not to fake it. and if this man doesnt want her because she lost her "virginity" flick him off and tell your friend to find a better man
2007-02-28 05:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is wrong on several levels. First, it's false advertising. Second, it's lieing! Eventually, someone from her past is going to bring something up or she's going to slip up, and then he's going to know that she lied, and he won't be able to trust her on anything else. Also, even if your past is behind you, it's still a part of you. When you get married, two lives join and become one. Shouldn't he have the right to know what all has happened in the past life that he has become part of?
2007-02-28 05:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋