hi, yeah my husband and i have been married for 2 years and i need to have a baby because i'm sick and a doctor told me that maybe in the future i'm not going to be able to be a mother so ....i dont know what to do!!!
can somebody help me!
2007-02-28 04:52:44 · 21 answers · asked by natalia 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sorry to say nobody but the good Lord can change his mind sweetie.Did you all talk about children before you got married? If not you should have,and if you did then you would have known this is how he felt.I am so sorry to here that you are sick,I hope you recover fine,and i hope everything works out for you.But if you force him into this its a risk, you could loose him.Try letting it sink in for a few days then setting him down and explain to him your longing to be a mommy,that the DR has told you it is now or never,but do remember that the DR doesnt have the last word that belongs to the good Lord above! Good luck
2007-02-28 05:01:31 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only have a baby if you want to have a baby. Just because your sick now doesnt mean you should run out nad have one. Think of all the pro's and con's to having a baby while your ill. If your husband doesnt want them and you have one while your ill you will be the one to do the majority of the care taking and while your ill this is going to put enormous strain finacially, and mentally on you. It will also put your relationship on the edge and quite possibly end it. Discuss this in length with a therapist. Did your husband tell you before you married he didnt want kids? If this is the case you knew ahead that he didnt want and now you will have to try to convince him this is a good idea. He maybe concerned for your health and well being and not want you to have the baby cause he wants to keep you around and alive for a long time. This is a joint decision and very very important one to make, dont be too hasty and make the wrong one for you, the kid, and the husband.
2007-02-28 04:59:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your husband about this. This is a big decision for both of you. Tell him why you'd like to have a child. Listen to why he doesn't want children. Maybe it isn't a good time for you two to have children, because of lifestyles, careers, jobs, stress.or whatever is going on in your lives right now.
If you aren't able to have children in the future yourself, perhaps the option is adoption, or becoming a foster parent. I was adopted. I had a friend that wants babies so bad, but she can't because of medical problems, so she has a houseful of animals instead.
I wish you the best though.
2007-02-28 05:04:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only want a baby just because you're sick and there's no certainty that you can have one when in the future does not justify forcing your husband to have a baby. during the time the baby grows up and whatever sickness you have will you be able to provide enough maternal care. having a baby is not the same as getting a new dog or cat. taking care of another human being is very crucial and not just because it suits your situation.
2007-02-28 06:04:28 · answer #4 · answered by iris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok did you and your husband not discuss this before marriage? did you think he was going to change his mind or did you change your mind? That i think is the bigger issue and if you are sick and not going to bare children in the future why would you want to bring a child into this world if you may not be able to be around for his/ her whole childhood, or participate as well as you like to, im confused as to why you would do that to yourself, your husband and an innocent child. I may be completely off base here and i apologize if i am but you did not give me enough information about your illness. In my honest opinion i think not only discussing this whole situation further with your husband, doctor, but you may want to think about getting an outside person to talk to ( not necessarily a therapist a lot of times a friend is better then someone you pay) Good Luck and i am sorry if my perception of reality bothers you but hopefully it makes you think of things you hadn't.
2007-02-28 05:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by jessica s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's not a lot you can do really. Talk it over with your husband, discuss why he doesn't want to have babies and see if there are any problems you can solve. If he's really against it and you really want kids, then your at a stalemate. Either you stay with him and wait and see if he changes his mind and hope you can have kids after all or end the marriage and see if you can start over with someone else and have kids.
But I do wonder why you didn't talk this over before you got married.
2007-02-28 05:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can freeze your eggs ahead of time in case he changes his mind. A friend of mine went thru cancer treatment and the radiation made her sterile - but they were warned that would happen and froze eggs. I don't want to preach but if you are so sick right now that you may be sterile in the future from treatment - is now a good time to have a baby? I'm not saying it is or it isn't - i work at a cancer hospital and see how miserable people are during treatment. I wish you the best - look into freezing some of those eggs!
2007-02-28 04:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You definitely should have spoke to your husband prior to marriage about children. Don't make him have a baby, it will most likely cause more problems down the road. Children need to be loved and wanted by mom and dad the same. Talk with him about this, find out what his issues are. If you are serious about this, re-evaluate your marriage your needs as a woman are important to.
Good luck and blessings!
2007-02-28 05:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should only have a baby if you want one, not because you think you need to have one. Both of you should want the child. If he doesn't and you do, then you might want to rethink your marriage. My first husband decided AFTER the wedding to tell me he changed his mind. We ended the marriage 11 months later.
Don't have a baby because you feel you need to. You don't have to have a baby to be a whole person. Have the baby because you and the father to be want to have a child and raise him/her in a loving home. No one "needs" to have a baby.
2007-02-28 05:01:25 · answer #9 · answered by scarfyrre 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, if you and your husband arn't on the same page, you can't MAKE him want a baby, and if you bring one into this world, he will resent you and the baby, this could leave to him abandoning both of you. This should have been discussed before marriage, but maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship. Don't trick him into having one, it would be detremental for the child to be brought into this world not wanted by his/her father. It also wouldn't be fair to him, at least he is honest with you about it. Good luck
2007-02-28 05:01:53 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋