The father of my children moved in with me almost 6months ago "unemployed" an still not working. He takes the kids to & from school. At first he used to do things around the house and he enjoyed cooking 4 us and it was really nice!! Lasted a couple months now rarely cooks,ect .I know and am willing to accept he is not a tidy person but I feel he does'nt work so he should put in the effort. He plays an online game everyday and at night and is "addictied" I love him so much and i have not doubt he loves me, he assures me everyday?? I have told him several times that i need him to go find at least a part time job to pay for utilities and food. (he likes his beer!) I don't want to be his mom and nag.He used to make 50k a year and is inteligent & also a loving dad. How can i stand up for myself within reason? I really want to work this out!
From a mans point of view what do you think he may be experiencing.
From a women point "am i blind"?
What time limit should i give & goals?
2007-02-28 04:46:42 · 9 answers · asked by Flaca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What he in right now is a depression, I was outta work however I always did the house hold chores. But there came a point I started to fall into a mode of not doing anything, watching Jerry Springer made me feel a lil better.
Once I got a job again, I've been good as gold, I know my wife felt the strain but we bought 2 more homes this past yr.
Just hang on if he's a good man he'll get it back together. If nothing else make sure his resume is posted on monster jobs, etc.
It's seems harder for men to take a job if their not making what their used too. Like going from $50k to $6.50 an hour is a blow to the ego, home, way of life, he's feeling he's worthless right now. just keep supporting him letting him know you trust him, and when he does get a job everything will be fine.
Prod him in that womanly way you guys do. My wife was prodding me everyday I just didn't know it. She let me keep my dignity, and made sure I felt like I needed the job w/o pushing or nagging.
That said if he continues to get worst I'd check into counseling for him
2007-02-28 05:03:29 · answer #1 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I usually don't answer any of these unless I see the answers and I don't agree with any of them. In my opinion, its not you its him.. It sounds like he is depressed or a Mid-life crisis (I don't know how old you 2 are). In this day and age depression gets everyone no matter how old you are. Most people don't even know that they are until its to late. Now I personally suffered from depression and I still do, but when someone is suffering from it, they lose interest in everything. I see the beer as a crutch he thinks it is making his life better or easier.. I drank and smoked pot just so I could forget what my problems were for 2-3 hours. I personally can see a guy who was making 50 grand and somehow lost the job, either he quit or he got fired.. Either way I can almost guarantee it affected him in one way or another.. You can ask him all you want he probably wont admit he needs help. But you probably should try and help him before giving him and ultimatum. Now I understand it will be hard to do cause you work and the kids and the stress of everyday life, but you both should maybe look into a specialist (marriage, and not cause of you but so you can support him) Now if he refuses to do any of this and he don't want help or to work or do anything around the house. Its time to tell him "Either Get A Fu*king job or get Help or get the Fu*k out!!" If you don't swear alot he will no you mean business and make sure you have friends support and family support cause if (for Some Reason) he decides to leave they can help you out when needed.. I really hope everything works out the way you want them too!!
2007-02-28 05:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Echo (just about) anybody else. it extremely is admirable which you would be able to admit the type you're feeling. greater useful now than 3 years from now whilst the youngster is wide-unfold on your abode. What bothers me the main is your spouse's eye roll attitude in direction of the open adoption. This toddler that she's procuring isn't her own. as much as she might attempt to hide up that fact, the youngster has a mom and has each and every top to stay in touch together with her if it extremely is the settlement made at adoption. To me, your spouse's attitude smacks of conceitedness and callousness in direction of the two the youngster and it extremely is mom. while you're demanding approximately being the reason that your spouse can not be a mom, don't be. From what you have informed us, she isn't shrink out for the pastime interior the 1st place. If she have been, she might by no potential evaluate no longer honoring the adoption settlement. Please do no longer enable her try this to a newborn. take a glance around at what those sort of adoptions have carried out to 3 persons who're now adults. I admire your willingness to admit your fears approximately no longer loving the accompanied newborn up on your man or woman babies. there's no longer something incorrect with that. You asked what your ethical responsibilities are in this occasion... they're to stop this adoption till now yet another youthful existence is destroyed for the sake of one egocentric woman.
2016-11-26 20:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, as i m a man and from my point of view it's very shamefull (pls don't mind) i mean a man should feel guilty if he is not working or doesn't get a job.He shouldn't stop until he finds one, just don't tell him that thing all the time as it willl ruin ur relationship but do tell him when he is in good mood.Also if u get to know abt some job for ur husband then tell him about it.
2007-02-28 04:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mystery Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I love to work and sometime I wish I don't work... It funny when I try to find job when my wife foudn a job and we moved and I had a hard tiem finding the job for 1 year and It killing me and I want to work... and I didn't give up and Finally found job for one year now.. and gosh, I have a family of my own and I had to find job and I didn't give up I went ever where... to find job.. and As a Man, Husband, and Father It my job to support my family... Woman didn't get pregnant by herself... It take 2 people to make baby... and for him you need to tell him If you can't not go and find part time or full time I will have to ask you to leave....
I know you love and you know I love you but This can't not be like this anymore... You want to be a great father and husband then go out there find a job and support this family... Find out why he can't find job and maybe you both had to move other town or state where he can get a better job... find out what made him stop working and made 50,000 a year.. Me only made 28,880 a year damn... but my wife made 65,000 a year but she knows I am working hard and she want me to stay home and I told her nope I rather work and bring extra money home and making sure kdis have everything and my wife and me.. smiling.
2007-02-28 04:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop being so careful with the way you chose your words and man up. Tell him how it is. He needs to realize this right away. If he isn't going to get a part time job than he needs to get crackin in the house. Dishes, laundry, cleaning. Everything. He even needs to do the shopping while you are at work bustin your hump. If he doesn't want to get a job, than that is his job. Those are his two options. period.
2007-02-28 05:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my husband does nothing but work and play xbox 360 you have to give him an ultimatum or he will not work for at least another year don't buy beer tell him moneys tight
2007-02-28 04:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to drop everything now, and move on with your life. There are many more 'fish in the sea'.
2007-02-28 04:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel-san 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don know
but look housewives eatin bon bons have been doing this for centuries. get used to you becoming the man
2007-02-28 04:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋