So I am about two and a half months pregnant by my soon to be ex husband. We separated Back in November and decided to give things one more try during late December. Needless to say I now am carrying our child and we cannot work things out. I have felt really strong up until today when I found out he has been communicating with a woman he cheated with when we were dating. I cried for the first time but not because I was jealous. I thought to myself why did I stay this long he has never changed. He does not want anymore children and my B-control failed. I am feeling overwhelmed today. I have not broke the news to him about the new baby because I know he will react very negatively. I cannot deal with all that is on my plate and deal with him being negative about the baby right now.
2007-02-28 04:44:08 · 11 answers · asked by jlaurentaylor2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bless you dear. Things are always darkest before the dawn. Look at this as a new beginning,not an ending. You are apparently intelligent enough to realize this is not going to work and you are worth too much to be used like that by this jerk. I have always believed that children conceived this way are just meant to be on this earth for some reason. View the baby as a precious gift from God and pick yourself up and go on. Enlist the help of anyone you can, parents, friends and you will make it. Ask the Lord to bless you and he will. However, he does have an obligation to support his baby unless he is just such a pain you need to totally get rid of him. God Bless!
2007-02-28 05:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by nerfherder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone else, I feel awful for you having to go through this.
I recently found out my husband of 4 years, has been cheating on me with his ex-wife, and have the prospect of divorce looming over my head too.
The best advice I can give you is 1) Stay STRONG (I know this is hard at times but do it for the baby), 2) Take care of yourself (for you and the baby, your health is important) and 3) Run, do not walk, to your lawyer's office.
I'd tell you my stupid story which would probably cheer you up but it's too long for here, and for some reason, I always add FAR too many swear words.
;o)
2007-02-28 05:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about the situation you're in. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 13 years and our relationship had been rocky for most of those years. We had our first daughter in December 2005 and split up November 2006. It's still pretty hard because I still love him and always will, especially because he gave me my daughter. The thing is that I had to end it with him because he was not being responsible. Like I said I love him and I know he loves me but love will not support our family or feed and provide for my daughter. The good thing for you is that you're not together anymore. Tell him about your pregnancy as soon as possible- he might deny being the father now but he will definitely do it the longer you've been separated. Don't worry it's OK to cry (for whatever reason you do). Just know that when you've stopped crying, you're still going to be in the same situation. Trust me -it's hard to be strong sometimes but you don't really have a choice now. You've got to find the strength- in order to give your child a wonderful future. Sometimes, I still cry but not in front of my daughter. I'm sure that being pregnant and going through this is rough but you will survive. Be strong and God Bless!! :)
2007-02-28 05:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we think we know someone well and really don't. we often feel like the fool after we have tired and taken them back only to find out they cheated and betrayed us. too bad about the fact he doesn't want more kids, it isn't the child's fault. he will have to pay more child support. be honest with him, let him know, but don't take him back. he will not treat this new woman any different than he did u, he will not just turn into Mr. wonderful. u might want to postpone the divorce until the birth of the baby. just focus on your self worth, know that this was not your fault, u just got the wrong man.
2007-02-28 05:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, bravo to you for realizing that you cannot stay with him. Try letting him know first in an email. It will give him some time to digest the information, unless he is the type of person to fly off the handle once he reads it and decides to call you. Tell him the news, ask him to take some time before he decides to contact you, and leave it at that. The stress isn't good for you at this time or any time in your pregnancy. Good luck.
2007-02-28 04:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poor dear. How horrible. Be strong if the marriage is truly unsavable as it seems it is you must be strong for your childs sake as well as your own. Honestly if he is cheating on you and continues to do so you should be happy to be free of him. Now if its a financial issue you have you may need to make things a bit more clear to this young prick that he needs to fulfill his responsibilities.
2007-02-28 04:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Get your chin up and move on. From the sounds of it, you will be better off without him. You too will make it through this. Keep the best attitude you can, because in the end, you make or break yourself.
2007-02-28 04:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by CL R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad about how he may react, he should of thought about all of that before he had sex with you. Hit him up for child support, he's got to pay for his actions.
2007-02-28 04:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... you gotta tell him what you want from him...i mean EVERYTHING that you want from him....he probably couldnt fullfill everything to you but at least you know which one you gotta have and which one u can compromise with him. And i know from what u've said...talking to his ex is NOT a compromise! if he is okay with not talking or keeping in touch....that means u got a chance...if NOT....DIVORCE him!
2007-02-28 05:13:26 · answer #9 · answered by deliah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. I really dont know what to say to help you. I just had my proposal rejected yesterday. I dont know if this even compares to your troubles. all i can say is hang tough and you will get through this.
2007-02-28 04:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by 333(i'm only 1/2 evil) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋