How Can I Help?

Question

There's a neighbor that I am trying to help, actually it's a family. They are both poor and undereducated. They want a home and each member of the household has told me at some time or another that they're tired of renting from slumlords. I have made myself available to them. The mother is about 50 years old and illiterate, the dad has been very ill but they have a 24 year old son who is interested in mortgages and such. He has shown an interest in learning more. I have taught him some things about mortgages and he says he wants to learn more. I am a very busy person however I am willing to talk with him. The problem is that he never keeps his appointments with me. Month in and month out-they're not building equity. Arrrgh!
What can I do to help them? I have the info, I've made myself available. What else can I do? I'm at my wits end.

You all are so right on! I am going to stop pursuing this. I'm getting frustrated unneccessarily.

Update, he called yesterday to ask me and my husband to take him to buy a book so he can start studying for the GED. I agreed to do so today. Well, today, we went to his house and he wasn't home, he called us five hours later. We were at dinner. This is our date night. I called him and told him that we were disappointed that he wasn't home when we tried to make good on our promise.
Any way, I have come to the conclusion that you cannot help everyone. That was sad cause he's so young but you guys have helped me stop banging my head against the wall, thanks! It just never occured to me that someone would not want assistance in bettering their lives.
I tried to reach him and you guys reached me.

Answer 1

You are obviously a good person and clearly you have done everything in your power to help these people but you can't help people who won't help themselves. Don't invest anymore time or emotional energy in this. If the son asks a question, answer it, and I'm not suggesting at all that you abandon them but you can't do it for them, eventually they have to take the initiative themselves to purchase a property if that's what they want to do.

Answer 2

It sounds like the son is either not committed to the idea or irresponsible, or he would keep his appointments. The parents sounds incapable.

What makes you think they are capable of owning a home well? Your description makes it sound that they aren't. Not all people are meant to be homeowners or want to be owners...who would keep up the house and yard?

You have done what you can. If the son wants it, let HIM initiate the contacts and move forward with your help. He/they may not know how to tell you they can't or don't want to own.

Answer 3

You need to concentrate on your own household. Some people can't be helped if they don't want to. Just to conclude what you have been doing find some local agencies to refer them to for assistance. Possibly even a caseworker. Let professionals handle it. Even if you are in that field if they misunderstand something you have told them and hold you accountable that could have detrimental consequences with you living next door. Sometimes we pick projects that are just to big out of the kindess of our hearts.

Answer 4

How can you help?...let them learn on thier own.

You can't go around trying to save the world...just worry about doing right for yourself and your family...There's a good reason these people are forced to rent from slumlords and have poor credit...think about it.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Answer 5

Its nice that you want to help. The sad reality is that some people you just can't help if they refuse to help themselves. I would wash my hands of these people and let them lie in the bed they made for themselves.

If they want out of the situation they are in, they should work to get out. They probably are waiting for a hand out.